Freshly new to the whole Warlord thing, Geralt is tricked into taking a consort via a clause in a treaty that no one had caught before he signed it. He can't get out of it. Not without starting a war with Kerak and Temeria. Probably Redania too because that's just how life enjoys shitting on him.
He's standing in the home of some Count. Pancraps or something. He wasn't listening over the absolute panicked yelling inside his own head. What the fuck is he meant to do with a noble lady?? Who the fuck are they going to force to marry him?? If it's a child he is going to simply burn this manor to the ground. Fuck any treaty. They aren't really prepared to go to war with three countries at once, but he knows no one would fight him on it if this Count tries marrying him to a child.
Yennefer is shooting him sympathetic looks as she skims over his thoughts. She feels guilty that she hadn't caught the trap in their treaty with Kerak. As it is, they're lucky no one knows about Ciri, his wonderful 5 year old who cried for hours when he was getting ready to leave, who the fuck knows what kind of fuckery they would be dealing with then.
His thoughts are interrupted by a loud crash and yelling. Moments later the door is bursting open and two guards march in, each with a hand on an arm of the man between them. The man is young. Maybe mid twenties. He's wearing bright blue clothing that brings out the color of his very pretty eyes. He's dirty from the road and has a lute strapped to his back.
He's also yelling. Demanding to be unhanded. To know who they think they are to abduct the Great Bard Jaskier. He demands to know why they think they can just stuff him through a portal and hand him off to a new spouse without so much as a by-your-leave. He spits out little ditties about the Count and the guards having small pricks and threatens to bite one of the guards. Again.
This is the most feral bard Geralt has ever seen. This also appears to be his future husband.
Julian Alfred Pankratz. As the Count introduces him. A challenging scowl directed at his son.
Jaskier the Bard. As Jaskier introduces himself. A haughty little tilt of his nose towards his father.
Its very clear the two do not like each other.
The bard takes a moment to give Geralt a once over. Then turns to his father and proclaims that the man should have told him he was getting married to the sexiest man on the continent. He wouldn't have protested... Too much... Well he wouldn't have bitten anyone at least.
Thoroughly scandalized and red in the face. The Count orders them all from his fucking Office. They'll be married by tomorrow night and then they can get the fuck out of his house.
Jaskier wastes no time looping an arm through Geralt's and demanding he tell him stories of his many heroic feats so they may be immortalized into song.
Baffled, and pointedly ignoring Yennefer and his brothers laughing, he lets Jaskier drag him away.
Yennefer points out later, once Jaskier has been dragged away to his own rooms, that offering Jaskier as a spouse is probably meant to be an insult. Since he was some unknown Viscount. Not to mention a Viscount that ran off to be a Bard of all things.
He thinks about the fact that Jaskier seemed to not fear him. He was nervous, yes, but not fearful. He also seemed to not mind the fact that Geralt wasn't very verbose. Prattling on enough for them both. Never mind the fact that he thought Geralt was "Actually very handsome. I could write odes to your biceps.".
Geralt can't help but feel this is the best outcome he could have hoped for.