𝑐𝑎𝑙𝑦𝑥

[thegleampt2fromtheglowpt22001]

I know it’s not hard to point out reactionaries hypocrisy when it comes to like safe spaces or hug boxes or whatever but genuinely how much of an echo chamber do you have to exist in for you to think this is a reasonable thing to say

[apisashla]

reblog if attacking fascism is really the hill you want to die on

[alpine-insurrection]

this is literally like one of the most justified and honorable hills you could die on??? lol??

[wildhumanhasappeared]

[sac-ro]

jealous

I'm so jealous of her. She's pretty, she has a small belly and her body is something I can only wish for. She has the face of an angel and you don't even notice her pimples.

She's kind and funny, she tries being understanding but even if she isn't you can't be mad at her for trying.

She's there for me; like a good friend and I hate her for that. I hate the fact I can't hate her. I hate that she's everything I aspire to be. I hate that she's so supportive.

I hate that I can't accept myself. I hate that she doesn't accept herself. I hate that she thinks she's not pretty, because she is stunning.

I hate that she likes me for who I am. I wish we weren't friends so I could be jealous of her in peace. No guilt, just jealousy.

I'm so jealous of my best friend that I just hate myself more for it. I'm nothing but a jealous, ugly, disgusting creature with the shell of a kind and understanding person with sass.

I'm jealous because she can openly talks about her problems. I'm jealous because the most talking about my problems is just the cup being overfilled while she takes it and pours them out.

I'm so jealous I can't be her.

[sac-ro]

I don't know anymore

I don't know anymore. I used to have a plan, a neat outline for my life.

My grades weren't the best but I always ended up with a good score. My homework wasn't always correct but I had it. I would panic during tests by I got a grad decent enough to not get grounded.

But now, now I'm fucked. I keep forgetting my homework, tests seem impossible because I can bearly do something during class.

I get so much love, but I don't think I deserve it anymore.

I have supportive friends. Sure, my mom gets mad but she always apologizes when she's calm again. So what the hell am I so sad for?

How ungrateful am I to dare ask for that junk food, or even ask to go out with my friends. I should stay at home and study. Make my mom proud.

I should clean, I should study, and do my homework, I should pay attention in class; but I don't.

I just can't help this weight that overcomes my body whenever I need to do something. I can't help the need to curl up and cry, but I should.

I may not be able to go to a therapist, but I still have a mouth to talk to a friend.

...but that's too troublesome. They have been so good to me. I shouldn't burden them with my problems, they have enough of those.

I just want to stop existing. I want to leave this world, leaving no traces of ever being here.

But I'm so scared. I don't want to not hug my mom, grandma, friends, grandpa, cousins. I want to pet cats, read books, and finish my own. I want to fall in love with someone who will love me for who I am. (But I don't deserve it, do I now?)

But I still want to leave. I don't want to be in this lifetime anymore. I want a restart. But I don't get one, no one does.

I don't know who I am, because I smile and lie to everyone none stop. Even myself.

I'm a girl who forgot who she used to be.

I just don't fucking know anymore.

[sac-ro]

One of those nights

It's one of those nights where I just listen to songs we labeled as sad, yet fulfilling because we know what they're singing about.

I met you such a short time ago, nearly a year. I don't think I'd be the same peson if I met anyone else instead of you.

If you were anyone else, I doubt I would be laying in my bed tonight and thinking about how awkward I was when I talked to you, that stupid smile I get whenever I read over our texts, I never forgot the ones I had to delete because I sent them when I was grounded.

So, no, I never got over your smile or your gaze I catch when glimpsing at you during class. I never got over how we didn't need to talk so much to become friends.

I miss our games of tag. Did you know you made tag my favorite game? Well, you did. It's because the first time we interacted outside of the class was because of tag. It's still one of my favorite memories.

I wish I had the courage to text you, but I think you would just find me annoying. I hope you don't, but I can't help but think you will.

I'll never forget you, because you're my first, real crush. Thanks for teaching me what longing for someone other then my family feels like.

I'll never forget this feeling, and I don't think I'll ever get over it. I don't ever want to forget it; I never want to forget you.