Dude I had a lot of great moments in my childhood but in the end, I grew up with an alcoholic mother, a shit ton of mental illness, was bullied and had no friends, and a grandfather that to an outsider seemed perfect and almost like a god, but would hit me and tell me "I'm gonna chop your head off and kick it all the way to baker" repeatedly (even when I was barely older than a toddler, like 7 years old... thats so terrifying to hear as a little kid, now I have a morbid fixation with beheadings and since I'm schizophrenic I'm 100% convinced in my brain that's how I'll die...), pin me against the wall and scream at me, etc. I would cry myself to sleep almost every night... and to make matters worse, my mom committed suicide when I was 20 and I found her body in my closet, she'd hung herself and slit her wrists down to the bone. I had so many bad relationships, my ex would knock me over and I'd scrape my knee so bad it scarred, he'd get drunk and scream at me how terrible I was and how he just wanted his ex back, he'd say I was shit on the bottom of his shoe, add me to group chats where he'd send pictures of him kissing other people and all his friends would laugh at me and say I deserve to be cheated on, and he would pressure me into sex CONSTANTLY, sometimes even forcing, although I didn't fight back, then when I was 19 and he leaked nudes of me from when I was underage, my friends introduced me to drugs so I would "just not care about it and feel good for a while, not worry and just have fun for a few hours" so i became a drug addict so i never had to feel pain, had overdoses where I'd puke and fall to the ground, paralyzed and unable to move, the EMTs had to lift me up and put me on a stretcher into the ambulance, where I'd pass out and wake up days later to a psychiatrist saying "what were you thinking? Are you stupid?" Then when I was 23 I dated a drug dealer. That was cool, except one day we were so high and I was making him mad, so he told me to kill myself and that he wouldn't give a single shit if I died in his apartment, so what I did was slash my arm open, then turn the knife on him and corner him and scream at him, I didn't cut him but I scared him. I had to get stitches. Now I have a warrant out for my arrest in NY because of that. I had to move to a different state and be homeless for 3 years, so much trauma happened there I won't even begin listing it. Now I'm in a mental health residential facility. Fuck man.
romaincrisis
annaxmalina
vaporwave
theartofmadeline
stormborns
areudirty
ellievsbear
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