just another dude, with another story

The drama, the chaos, the fun, the trouble.... Hidden archives, straight from the deepest corners of my own memory

[sadatanwer]

Randomness

I was going through my previous blogs and realized that more often than not, I start with the same phrase, "its been a long time since......". Well in all honestly, if you look at the timelines of my posts, you will have to agree, but then like everything consistent that phrase too must change, and so this time I started with this explanation! Smart eh? I know!!

The past few days I spent in a little introspect and the only word that kept popping up was "Randomness". Its as if I was the root of all random generators, my chain of thoughts have no beginning, definitely no end and absolutely nothing related in the middle. I sometimes feel that the world should be redefined to: Random is the way Sadat thinks! But that would be giving me too much credit so, lets leave it at that. 

If you were me, you'd realize that sometimes having this vast load of energy is fun, but more often than not, the people around are not capable of handling you or even after a point bare with you. At that point the only feeling that remains is funny.

I am going to try and just write the thoughts that come to my mind with a minimalistic amount of oversight, just to make sure that this post remains viewable for an audience. So, 

Why am I even writing this blog, the idea does sound funny, but there are a million other things that I could be doing right now! Like go for a walk, I did have a lot to eat for dinner, but then again, I wanted to and probably would have even gone for one, if I was joined by someone. Why do I always hate doing things alone? I should probably start now, seeing how I usually am left alone, half the people around me are lazy and the other half just cant handle my awesomeness, or so I would like to think. Maybe the problem is with me? Maybe I just push people away, by being the obnoxious person that I usually am. 

Assignment and seminar work!! Oh my God! I so wish I was like a super human genius! I love gathering information, I am only not good at keeping it all in my head, if I could recollect everything I have read or heard, I'd probably be the coolest person alive! But that would still not solve my problem of the assignment submission! This semester my course work has almost certainly driven me insane! Right to the point that I am actually writing this post!  If I am reading this post after 20 years or something, I will laugh my head off, probably even die at this very point! A person has to be totally insane to do the things that I do. 

And the promise I made to my self about jogging today, and how I am procrastinating that as well by doing absolutely random stuff. Does living life like this have any purpose? Oh! The ever so important question about the meaning of lie and our entire purpose in that whole grand scheme of things! I haven't really made any significant contributions in the field of science or medicine? What purpose could I solve? 

I have to seriously get back to doing my assignment, this might sound fun, but is surely not solving anything! At least doing some reading might actually do me some good! 

So, sorry I have to leave it here at this abrupt stage, but what did you expect? A lullaby in the end? God! You need a life! 

[sadatanwer]

Exam time and philosophy

I know I haven't been here very often, but like every time, I have the perfect excuse (that reminds me, so a really short detour). What is the perfect excuse? I am sure most, if not all of us have had a hard time coming up with "innovative" excuses while at school or college right? Do you remember any that you would want to share today? Maybe help a fellow friend? You don't have to share it here, do it on your facebook, if that makes your happy! #TheLineThatSavedMe. Let me be first, so there was this time when I was in grade 9 if I remember correctly, and was in English class, had not done the homework, so as soon as the teacher walked in unlike the rest of the class that stood up to wish her, I just put my head on the table and pretended to be in pain, obviously that grabbed my teachers attention and she came by, asked my what was wrong (notice the trick was to start, even before she could remember she had given homework, and ask for submissions) and I told I was feeling very sick, and was dizzy. Obviously she was concerned, and since she knew my family, and knew my dad was a doctor, thought it was best to call him up, just to be sure. Long story short, before I could get things under control, I was in the emergency room, with my dad next to me, and the doctor on duty was seriously worried as he could find noting that was wrong. In the end, I told my dad I had forgotten my homework! (Yes, this is a true story!! Every single word) (To my teacher: if you ever end up reading this, oops!)

So, coming back from excuses and escapes, this time I have been away because I have been busy with exams. Well in theory busy with exams, but in reality, I have been busy with everything except my books. One of those unusual preoccupations that I have during my exam season is Philosophy. If you are my friend on facebook, you'd notice that my messages take an acute philosophical turn every exam season. I did feel this, but it was so much more apparent when a friend actually asked me if I had exams, he said "I could tell, because like all the times before, your messages just become deep, or sometimes make no sense, so good luck!". That actually made me turn back and look at it, and yes, he was right! Well, mostly, as for me, none of what I said a few months back made any sense now. What I notice is when I have exams, my brain like it should be goes into overdrive, but my concentration, just takes the opposite direction and gets stuck at anything, but books! interesting how I decided to write this blog, when I have a paper just day after, and at this time, I have done little to no preparation. 

I do honestly believe that education should be made more of an experience than a system. That obviously does not mean, we should scrap the current system, and just have hill-billies. No, I do feel that there is a shift that is needed. Some people perform better inside a system, and for them this should stay, but there are others (like me :D ) who don't feel comfortable in this rigid system, with exams and submissions, and grades, and ranks, and bla bla bla..... No!!! The whole system drives me insane! I am not lying to you when I say, I HONESTLY don't know how many credits I have earned so far!! Trust me, I know its basic addition, but I cant do it in this case! I don't know, When I get a transcript, Ill know, and then Ill tell you! For me studying is all about the experience, I take up random courses that I feel engage my interest, and challenge me, I don't care how many credits they have, or if they are "core" or "un-core" or what ever you drones call that. NO! For me, that has no meaning. When I am around my fellow buddies, and they start to discuss about the system, and other "bureaucratic" matters, I just feel, stupid! Its very similar with exams, I just cant wrap my head around the fact that scoring an "A" or a "B" or an "F" for that matter on one single paper, with only 4 questions gives you or anyone else the ability to judge what I know, and do-not know! I personally feel that the formal exam as we know it, is a broken system, that does more harm than good. For me, I think the true test after a course is to give you a real life problem, one is enough, but it should be real life, and like everything in real life, it should be uncontrolled. Or I dont know!! Like I said, I dont understand rigid systems. I want to be a free bird! Like my colleague was shouting all day today, "I want to be a free bird, on roller skates!!" No idea why he kept doing that........

[sadatanwer]

Ice Cream

Dont let the title mislead you, this is a very touching and tragic story I had the misfortune to see unfold in front of my very eyes! To say I was "moved" would be an understatement. But before I can tell you what exactly happened, to understand the story, you first have to understand its pretext. 

Today was the last day of a Ramadan, and after a whole month of fasting, I happened to see a group of young boys celebrating on my way to the train station. There was this one person who stood out in particular, he was tall, and well built, but there was this sincerity in his eyes that caught my attention, he I could say was actually "feeling" happy! To celebrate the occasion he shouted out to his friends to join him for  ice cream from a McDonalds that was near by and still open. The joy that I felt seeing all these guys enjoying made me want to stay close to this group as I too could feel the "happy vibes". Soon they came out of the McD's ice cream in hand, and smiles on their faces. Though these boys were around 23-24, the excitement in their voices and the glitter in their eyes, I thought for a moment they where 5year olds, laughing and jumping with not a worry in the world.... Just then the train had stepped into the platform and I ran to catch it. 

I found a place right next to the door and before I settled in I saw this group run to try and catch the same train! I was elated, I thought I'd get to be around the joyfulness for a bit longer, everyone entered the train, but this boy I was talking about earlier, didnt, I am not sure if he was waiting for someone else to come or had to catch a different train, but he just didnt get on, he was standing at the door, and there he saw one of his friends who did not have any ice cream, this friend of his was standing in the train and was probably also waiting for other friends. Person A (the one I told you about earlier, the happy adorable person with the ice cream) offered his friend person B a spoon if he willed, and before you could do anything person B took the ice cream and came sat next to me, and in that very second the door of the train shut and it started to move. "A" was outside, and shocked at what had just happened, it was all happening too fast, just now he had friends and ice cream, and in the split second, all his friends were on this train and one of them also took his ice cream, "A" was suddenly sad, and I am sure I saw a tear trickle down his cheek when he wiped it off. I dont know what happened to "A" after that, did he buy a new ice cream and have it all alone at a station filled with strangers, while his friends left him behind, or did he just sit there at that platform, in solitary thought of how he had suddenly lost all "happiness". What "A" did next I do not know, but I sure wish I could see him smile again just as he was when I saw him the first time, I hadn't seen a genuine smile in a long while, and am not sure how long Ill have to wait before I see it again, maybe untill next Ramada? 

Here on the train, everyone was now scorning at B, and all the while all B did was stare at the "prize" that he had just "won"! It was sicking to see how a person so heartless could even exist. Here he was sitting with all of "A's" other friends and to top it all, he even had his ice cream! Talk about exchanging lives. Come to think of it, I hadnt even see B outside the McD, when the rest of the group was jumping with joy, maybe that is why he did not even have an ice cream of his own. and now look at him, I could swear I saw a smirk across his face when the train left the platform. "I have taken it all", he might have thought to him self when he saw "A" from the window, pulling his arm out in the trains direction, completely helpless, all alone at the station. 

The contrast that I saw between A and B was explosive. I was there sitting in my seat, baffled at what I had just witnessed, how everything just turned around for these two boys. I have seen hollywood movies take more time to switch people's lives than today! It made me realize how momentary life is and how unprepared we are to the endless possibilities of outcomes that any action has. We tend to take a lot of things for granted, and only realize our mistakes after such a blunder has been made. Life is too short, and even more volatile than we` can ever image, and the only way to make the most of it is to live in the present, to enjoy now. Who knows when you might miss the next train that takes away all your friends and also your ice cream, leaving you, all alone, on a station filled with people, lost in the crowd, trying to figure out what just happened. And when you turn around, all you see are strange faces. I try to image what "A" might have done but even the thought of his sudden loneliness passes a shiver down my spine and I cannot think any further, as for "B" well, he finished the ice cream, and it sure did look tasty, after all it was one of those famous McD's sundaes with hot chocolate........

[sadatanwer]

Mothers Day!

I have been away from tumblr for a while now and so thought it would be nice to write something, and since mother's day was not so long ago, I though I'd dedicate this post to mother's day and naturally to my most beloved MOM! 

Now in all honesty, I dont think making a huge fuss of mother's day makes a lot of sense, specially to me, because in my eyes, every day is the same. I love and teat my mom the same every day of the year, for as long as I have lived and hopefully for as long as I will be. Honestly!

In fact I was just talking to a few of my friends about mom, and when I told them I talk to my mom EVERYDAY! They were kinda shocked (I live far away from my family)! Some told they speak once or twice a week, others told often but not daily!! That made me wonder if I am a mommy's boy?! Am I?

Well, if being mommy's boy means its mothers day for her, every day of the year, I kinda like it! Look, there have been days when I have been over busy, and didn't get time to call her up, but then when I did I'd realize that my mom gets worried if I dont call up daily, and her worrying= "me not happy", so yes, I try to call her up daily! Now I know that naturally means, most of our conversation is kinda lame, like "what did you cook today?", "how is the weather?", "Did the electrician come and fix your AC?" but as long as I get to hear her and she hears me, I think its mission successful.

Any ways, like I said earlier, I dont make a big "fuss" of mother's day as for me it practically is "any-other-day", but what the heck! If 100 million people can put up pictures of them with their mothers on facebook to mark a difference on that day, why should I not? I mean, I think that would only mean its even more special, right? And since I feel, words are my forte, I thought of this! 

Ok, so the explanation as to how, what, and why is done..... 

Mother's Day, or simply put, Mom! 

She makes me feel special, even though, I might be the least special person in the whole wide world, I mean there is nothing unique or desirable in me, but even then, she thinks I am some sort of Superman, only better. I personally think I look un-attractive, but the confidence in her voice when she says "Dont come home one day, and introduce me to your wife!!" makes me wonder if I am maybe, better looking, than Brad Pitt! I probably have at best maybe an "almost-average IQ" but when she tells me to dream for the stars and pushes me to the limits of my education, I wonder if I have an IQ of a million! She has never said no to anything that I wanted as long as it was not harmful for me, makes me think I am the richest person in the world! 

But its not only those things that make me want to dedicate, not only this post, but everything that I have, and more so, everything good that I am to her. She has sacrificed not only her happiness, but all her life just so that I can be peaceful! She has not only sacrificed her time, but all her life, just so that I may get to spend every minute of mine on anything that makes me laugh, she has not only sacrificed all her wealth, but all her life just so that I can have everything I ever wanted. And so, so, much more, that it would be an insult, to not only me, but also to her if I even tried to pen down a fraction of the sacrifices that she has made.....

Everything I have is because of her, everything good in me, is because she is, every achievement I have ever made, she deserves it more than I, every penny I have earned, she has worked for, every deed that I have done, "She has taught me!" 

Mom, I probably dont say this as often as I'd like to, but, with God as my witness, I am, if anything, only but, a fraction of what you are! It is because I without you, am everything that is wrong with this world!! You are my light, you are my compass, YOU are my SAVIOR! 

You are everything I was, I am, and could everything I imagine to be! You are, my, Mother! 

Love you, Mommy! 

[sadatanwer]

Lonely Traveller

 Ok, so if you hadn’t already noticed, I was gone for a really  long time, like really long! A lot happened in that while, some things I plan to write about today. First things first, I finished with my first semester MSc exams, and boy was it an interesting week! Not a lot about that, but I am really greatful that it ended, and I am still alive!! (Believe me, a lot could have happened! )

But before my exams started I had a few days prep leave, which I did utilise properly, by running straight to India, and not studying a word till it was already too late! (Now you know why I am glad I am still alive after my exams?).So I read a few articles about travelling and exploring new places, ALONE! The articles I read were all interesting and very convincing at the same time! They all assured the reader a bag full of surprizes and whole ton of adventure. Since I was travelling to India and was not accompanied by any one  I thought I’d make the most of my travell alone adventure by seeing the places I stopped for in transit!

On my way to India, I had a 5hrs stop in Amsterdam, this was going to be my trial trip, to see if I was cut out to travel alone. I was super excited. Though it was only 5 hours, it felt just right from within. If I enjoyed the trip, and enjoyed the time, I’d do more of this, and if I felt it was a total waste, and was bored to death being left alone with myself, with no one to spare me from myself, I’d only have to pass 5 hours and then be on the next flight to India, where I had planned to sleep the entire time between meals. Meals are probably the one most important thing while travelling long haul, well obviously because that is the only place I feel I can take back some of the money I spent for my tickets, plus, you do need some food to keep you alive and running between terminals and airports and taxies and lugging your luggage. So, when I travel, no-matter how tired I am, I make it a point to tell the wonderful attendants on board to be sure to wake me up, kick me if they have to, but be sure to feed me at every possible instance! I don’t even miss the coffee!! Hell yea! Which would bring me to the topic of airplane food, but that is a matter to be left for later. You know what, no why later, now! Airfrance is probably the cheapest airline when it comes to food! Yes, they save every penny they can on the food!! I got some really weird dish, that had only half a tomato, and a single boiled egg, and this was to keep me alive for 11hrs!! Really? I consume more food that that when I am a sleep! Not to mention, there was no coffee!! Whats with you guys?

Thats all for the Airfrance people for now, lets get back to Amsterdam, beautiful, lovely adorable AMSTERDAM! Yes, I fell in love with that city! Everything in Dutch capital is just so loveable! The people, God bless them, they are probably the most lovely hosts on the planet! The free wifi! Its literally EVERYWHERE! I don’t think anyone in Amsterdam owns an internet connection! And the canals, aah the beautiful canals, with the smell of fresh weed from the coffee shops on the side… Freedom! I was supposed to be in Amsterdam all by my self, but on my flight into Schiphol, I had a wonderful co-passenger who was willing to walk around the beautiful city with me. Guess that is also one of the perks of travelling alone, you can spend an amazing time in a perfectly beautiful city, with the perfect stranger, and smile when you think about it! All in all, it was an amazing trip! We walked all over central Amsterdam like a million times, then took the tram to the Rijksmuseum, a short distance away from the central station, took a million pictures right in front of the uber famous “I Amsterdam” signpost! Yey! I so wanted to see that place, and to top it all, the weather on that particular day was beautiful. The sun was bright, with scattered clouds, the streets damp from the previous night’s rain. And fresh Danish air blew right across! Though I could not enter any of the numerous museums that Amsterdam has, (it is also called the city of museums) because my stop-over was a little too short for that, but looking at the rest of the place, I am sure, like everything else, they must be EPIC! And that is why, I do plan to see the city, again!

Whether I go alone or with some one? I am not sure, but if you want to travel alone, and its your first time, I’d say Amsterdam is the place to go to, because there, even if you are alone, the wonderful people never let you get lost, or make a mistake. Everyone speaks English and weed is legal! What more could a man ask for? Right?

Here are some of my pictures from the trip!!!

  And on my way back………..

(To be continued..)

[sadatanwer]

Neuschwanstein Castle

I think it’s been a few months now when I visited Nuschwanstein Castle with a few of my friends. If you don’t already know, or have not googled it or are too lazy to do that, it’s a castle in the south of Germany, near a small city called Füssen, and was built by King Ludwig II and was completed around the time of its death in 1886. King Ludwig II was also called the "Mad King Ludwig" because of his crazy obsession with uber expensive castles and art. There is a lot more to his life than just that, you can read all you want about him on the internet. 

Neuschwanstein is one of the most beautiful castle in all of Europe, and that fact has been certified by Disney when they used it as the castle for Sleeping Beauty. It is also the source of imagination for most of the fictional castles is stories the world over. If you look at the pictures, you will agree that it deserves the appreciation, no matter how mad the King was, you also have to agree that he did have taste! 

This trip of ours, like most things we do, was an epic fail the minute we started. We had all decided that to be there on time, and to make the most of the day, we would have to wake up at around 4 and take the first train to Füssen (In Germany, if you plan to travel cheap, you have to use short distance trains and usually have to change a few before you reach your final destination, in our case the journey was 4 hours long with 4 changes), but like all our plans, this too was an unachievable one. We all woke up later than planned, except for ‘Mol’ who I still don’t understand how, managed to be there on time and take the train we were supposed to, but ended up taking it alone, which meant he had to wait for us at the main train station. Nevertheless, the rest of us managed to reach the station at around 5am, but a few more complications meant we had to eventually delay our journey by a whole hour! 

It was a bad start and things had started to look glum! A few hours into the journey things started to improve, we became more awake and slowly, the fun started. Throughout the journey we saw amazing landscapes of Germany with vast green fields and perfectly shaped hills, all of it looked as if it were out of the drawing books we had when we were 5. I also saw this enormous wind farm, with windmills that reached the sky and blades the size of tall buildings (sorry I don’t have pictures of those, I did take a few, but because of the train windows, they were not worth keeping, maybe next time I'll show them). Eventually we did reach Füssen. It was totally NOT what I had expected it to be, this was a really small town, and I’d probably even call it a village! It had a really shady station! A place which is supposed to have one of the most beautiful castles in the world did surely deserve a much better train station! But that is the German way of doing things I guess, they really and very strongly believe in conservation and weight each penny they spend! If it's not absolutely necessary, you won’t find it here. 

Anyways, once we were out, and at the bus stop, there was a bus just about to leave for the castle, but it was more than full, and we did not get any place in it, which meant we had to wait 30 mins for the next one! Great! Could this day get any better? Well, since Füssen is at some altitude, and is surely colder than Stuttgart, it had snow, and lots of it!! A bunch of Indians, and snow, makes for an amazing time! So like babies we all started making snow balls and hitting each other! Time passed and the next bus arrived, we were the first ones to get in (didn’t want this one to leave without us!). 

Eventually we reached the base camp, where the bus left us, and we then had to walk a few kilometres before we reached the castle. Our final destination was in sight! We started the climb, like old men, probably even older, we immediately started to complain about the walk, but then I could see it! I could see the pillars of the castle, and it was MAGNIFICENT!! In that moment I had forgotten all the pain and just could not wait to reach it! The sight was beyond what you have ever heard or read, you have to see it to believe it, and I am grateful that I could! 

The rest of the journey was lot better! We had tons of fun and I got to take some of my best pictures! I have uploaded some that I like the most in the lot! What do you think?

[sadatanwer]

Fear

We are all afraid of something, and I can safely say that no one is not afraid of anything. Some of us are scared of the unknown (future, space, death), some of us fear the known (Exams, girlfriend/boyfriend, death), some fear success, some fear failure, some of us fear more than the others, but fear we all!

Why have I decided to write about fear today? Simple, I too, just like you are also scared of a ton of things, and the top of that list is, fear itself! Yes, I am scared of fear, and so I thought I'd talk myself through this one. So here I am thinking out loud trying to reason with myself, and hoping in the process to make something that is just as interesting to read as it is to write.

When I say I fear, fear. I am trying to say that at times, I am scared of fear of anything, or everything that it becomes very constricting to do anything. I know it sounds really funny to read that line, and I too am laughing at what I just wrote, but to me that line still makes perfect sense, because I know what I am talking about, it might be hard for me to explain that to you or anyone else at the moment, but it still exists. 

Is fear a good thing or a bad? Well I'll try and get to that in a bit, but before that we'll try to understand what fear is and how it arises. My understanding is that it’s something that we have acquired over time, and is mainly there for our protection. If you've noticed, a small baby or an infant is probably the most fearless person in the world, they don’t even blink when you snap your fingers right in front of their faces, and are probably the only ones who can put their hands in a running blender with a smile on their faces! So, one thing is clear, we were definitely not born with fear of anything, but then as we grew older and life taught us bad lessons, we learned that not everything is good for us and we'd be better away from some things. But if you look at your self today, you’re probably afraid of a lot of things that don’t really cause you any harm. Why? When did we go from being super babies to coward grandmas?  

Is fear really a good or bad thing? Well, like I said before, it’s not concrete. Today you are afraid of putting your hand in a running blender, I'd take that as a good fear (if you love and value your fingers), but when you are afraid of asking a girl out, out of the fear of rejection, hmm, how can you be so sure she will reject? Not really a good one. At least I don’t think so! But then why some of us are still afraid of things we know won’t kill us? That’s the question I wanted to answer in the first place! I think it has something to do with our comfort zone, our minds (emotions, reactions (heart) your real heart only pumps blood nothing really serious) are just as lazy as we are, and it tends to scare us when it senses a change! Take the secret crush example, why are you sacred of asking her out? The worst is she will say "no!", or she might even say "Yes!", but in both cases, your mind will now have to work to make that adjustment! That is what we are scared of, we are not scared of the "yes" or the "no", we are scared of the change! We are never scared of the exams, no exam has ever eaten a person alive (none that I know of, if your exams expect you to dance in front of a lion, please don’t read this part) we are all scared of studying for it, and even if we have studied, the uncertainty of the results is what scares us. 

Now that we know what fear is and what causes it, can we be in control of it? I am afraid, No! Why? Well because then your mind will have to take into account the changes and develop new patters and reactions, (a LOT of work for the lazy brain) so, even if you tell yourself that you are not afraid anymore, don’t worry, you are only fooling yourself, your brain also know that you still are! 

I really like what Will Smith had to say in that movie after earth, probably the only thing I liked in the move "Fear is not real, danger is!" 

So, don’t put your hand in a running blender, that's stupid, but go ask that girl out! She just might say YES!

[sadatanwer]

Der Zwerg (The Dwarf)

That was the name of the opera I visited last night! Yes, I did go to THE OPERA! In a real Opera house, with real performers and a real orchestra!!! So why did I title it "der Zwerg" instead of simply "The Dwarf"? Well, don’t you think it’s about time I wrote a blog that had a German title? That and also that was the title of the show.

I had wanted to visit the opera house ever since I knew I'd be going to Europe! That was something I just had to do! Why? I don’t really know if there was a reason, but I surely wanted to have the experience! And then I met an amazing person at my work place, who happened to have performed at the opera when he was studying music. So I asked my friend to introduce me into the world of Opera! At first, I didn’t know what to expect, I was not sure if I would enjoy the experience, I wasn’t even sure if I'd last through the performance. But I was surely excited for it. And then finally last night, we went to watch der Zwerg. From the time I stepped foot into the Wilhelma Theatre (http://www.wilhelma-theater.de/) I knew I was going to have a memorable evening.

The tickets cost us 16.50Eur, which is certainly not cheap for a student, but then I think it’s affordable, not too expensive as well. Once we were inside and had our tickets, there was an announcement that said a person would be explaining the performance before it started. I followed everyone and we entered a room where there was this lady who was explaining what the performance was all about, who wrote it and stuff like that (it was written by Oscar Wild in 1922 and was originally written for a huge orchestra, but the music was re-written by a student at the music school so that it could be played by the limited people they had in the band, she also mentioned of some instrument being flown in from Budapest, didn’t really get that part). I did not understand most of it, as it was in German, but never the less, I was super excited. Every minute was bringing me closer to my first ever opera, and then there was a bell, and everyone left the room to enter the main hall, where the stage was. 

Our seats were on the second floor, which I was told were not The Best, but actually very good. (The best seats were the ones just under ours, they were at perfect viewing angle with the stage). I could see the HUGE red curtains covering the stage! The first of its kind in my life, I could see the orchestra and the different instruments the band was playing! I even saw an angelically beautiful girl playing the big golden instrument, which the angles have in cartoons!! My eyes were twinkling like those of a child when he sees something interesting! I was finally here!

Soon curtains opened and I could see the stage, and then the performers. It all looked like it had just stepped out of my imagination! Though I did not understand a word of what the performers sang, it all still made perfect sense to me. I understood it all! That is the beauty of music, it transcends language.

The plot was fairly simple, it was the day of the Princess’ 18th Birthday and she was having a wonderful time with her friends, she had received exquisite gifts from all over, and one of them included a dwarf. He was gifted to the princess by a Sultan. And he was hideous, but he had never seen a mirror and so did not know how ugly he looked. When he saw the princess, he fell in love with her and started to imagine a future with her. The Princess on the other hand, played with his emotions and when she was done, showed him a mirror! After he saw it, he got a huge shock and died. They End! Well, that is how best I can describe the plot, but I feel there were a lot of other subliminal messages, and reference to everyday human traits in that. There were other characters that I did not mention, but they also played big parts in forming the entire story. My aim here was not to tell you the story of the opera, but to tell my story of being there.

It was a very nice experience, and I'd recommend everyone who has the slightest desire to at least visit once! You might love it as much as I did or even more, or at worse, will feel you wasted your time, but one thing for certain is that you would have had a new experience and a rich one at that.

[sadatanwer]

Music

I am not a huge fan of music, and for the longest time I never really understood what all the hype was all about! When I say I am not a huge fan, I mean I am not a person you will notice with uber expensive headphones strapped on to me every time I step out of my house or some music being played on my computer in the background when I am inside. Unlike most (probably all) of my friends, I felt I did not have any "connection" to music, and that is why never really cared. It’s not that I hate it, just don’t fancy it as much as the next person, and whenever I said that to someone, they looked at me like I was from Mars! "You don’t listen to music? Are you for real?" Is the sort of reaction I got! 

So why am I writing about it now? Well, recently I have been getting that reaction more often than not. I was even almost forced to install "Spotify" on my computer! In all honesty, I didn’t even know it existed till my friends told me, and I was amazed! I had totally phased out of the Spotify revolution! Or have I? Anyways, so I got it, and then I started following some of my friends there who seemed to be really active, and before you know it, my laptop keeps singing now! And sometimes I like it, well, probably mostly. Today I was listening to some songs and within no time, I had the words stuck in my head! Even now! It really distracting, and that brings be back to the point, I realized that I actually love music probably more than most of you or at least my friends! Yes, and that is why I can’t listen to it all the time. When I am listening to songs, my brain concentrates a majority of its processing on the words, and if it’s a well written song, it just sticks to me, and then in that time, I cannot do anything else but just admire the pain/joy of the singer! 

When I am listening to songs, I feel connected to the person singing. It’s a very weird feeling, 

And there is an advertisement on Spotify now. While we are at it, I never thought it be annoying, but you see, if I just write some random stuff in the middle, in bold, when you are reading something so interesting, it really becomes annoying! 

well it’s not weird as in bad, it’s just different! Sometimes I like it, sometimes I am just jealous or feel pity for the person... That is just me... 

But none the less, I think music and songs are fun! They surely make for a good way to spend time with friends. Last week, I was with a couple of friends one of whom played the guitar, and we spent all night singling and laughing! I really wish I could also play the guitar, or any instrument for that matter, I seriously think that it’s a HUGE CHICK MAGNET. Ok, back to that night, I also realized then that music actually has no language, well the songs do, but not the music, my friend was playing some Hindi songs on his guitar and my non-Indian friends could tell if it were a sad or happy tune, and it was same for me when I hear their music. Though sometimes the words when translated were quite disturbing, but then every culture has a unique way of expressing and some are just different. (I am not pointing a finger at your culture, just saying that it’s different from mine, like benny lava) OH! Shit, before I forget, YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS!! (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdyC1BrQd6g). My friend kept asking me if I know this song (she kept calling it benny lava) and I was like "No, never heard of it, are you saying it right?" and she was "It’s so damn famous, and no, it’s Benny Lava, how can you not have heard it?" And then she showed it to us, probably the most eccentric 5 minutes of my recent life!! I had never heard or seen or known any mention of it, but God was it EPIC! And to not have heard of it before, I was surely living under a rock! 

So I have said a lot of random stuff, hopefully most of them are in some considerable radius from the topic, and have given you something to laugh on (the benny lava video has had to, if you didn't laugh on that, I am sorry, you are dead), or think on (really, I don’t think I write anything of intellectual importance) or simply wasted some boring time.

Another add on Spotify, really annoying now!! 

Yah that last advert got me all lost, and its late, so, 

Have a wonderful time, Valentines is round the corner, what’s your plan? 

[lego-loki]

I am looking forward to meeting Jeremy Clarkson, James May and the short one when I appear on Top Gear next week.

[sadatanwer]

Commitment

I am talking about the commitment that one person makes to another! I don’t know what’s to blame, but I have realized that not a lot of people are willing to commit to a person or a relationship! It’s not that people are afraid of commitment, in fact the truth is entirely the opposite, you have more people committed to their careers, social causes, drugs, terrorism and crime than I think the world has ever seen, but then why are most of the people today reluctant to commit to relationships. 

It would be enormously hypocritical if I sat here and pointed out the flaws or errors with the lifestyle of my friends or people I know, No! That would be bad! What I can do is introspect, and ponder on how I react/behave to situations concerned to commitment and try to make a joke of it! That sounds so much fair! 

Personally, I never felt that I had an aversion for relationships or commitment for that matter, and was ready to try out things as and when they presented themselves. But over time, I feel that the feeling has changed, was it life’s mean lessons or lessons learned when life acted like a bitch to people around me, I am not sure, but something surely happened and that has created this enormous fear in my mind! The fact is I am simply afraid of “constants". I have become so used to change, that I feel that if things around me simply stopped changing, I would be confused and would not be able to tell if I were still alive or not! Change in today’s life has become so permanent, that without it, you’d feel suffocated! And for me, a claustrophobic (a person who is scared of closed dark places) this is just even worse! When things start to settle down, I get the sensation that I am being locked in a tight dark box, and then slowly, the walls start to close in! Panic sets in and I just have to break lose! At that point I do anything, to get out, to have some space! Does that mean the entire world has also become claustrophobic? I seriously doubt that! I mean how stupid would that be, scientists will have to stop working on cure for cancer and devote their “precious” time to fix this! (Why is precious in quotes you wonder? Well, have you SEEN a scientist? I have, and all I see them do is have fun! When do they work, well when they are a sleep! I mean I probably do more work than a scientist, and the amount of money they spend in the name of science! God!) 

But coming back to the point here, commitment, so my personal fear is not from committing to a person, in fact it is committing to commitment! Yes, and just having so many commitments in one sentence makes me want to puke! You think I am immature? (Really?!?! Have you seen yourself? Have you seen what you keep doing most of the time? And you are calling me immature?) I frankly don’t care what you think (Yes I am that cool!) but if you let me defend myself, I don’t think I am. On the contrary, I think I am very mature, and responsible. I too thought I was immature for escaping “settling down”, but that never made sense to me, because I didn’t feel childish (although I do behave like a 9 year old most of the time). In a recent discussion with a friend of mine call V (yah, my friends have single alphabet names, who makes the rules you?! just accept it) he pointed out to me, and I must add very precisely that being tied down has nothing to do with maturity. They are not even in the same plane of physics or the same chapter of psychology. And I think V is correct. If I don’t want to spend the rest of my life in the same city or in the same job or live with the same person, that just means that I don’t want to do those things, nothing more, nothing less. You could argue that my thoughts will change with time and that at a later stage in time, I would really want to settle down. That could very much be true, but that would not mean that I will become mature then, or life’s crazier lessons would have taught me something new. It plainly means that then, I’d have become an old lazy fool who has lost the interest in exploring new things and seeing new places (people), and that I am not claustrophobic anymore!

[sadatanwer]

Dosti... (Friendship)

I wanted to write so much about this stuff... But I realized, only after a few failed attempts, that I am yet to evolved as a writer, capable of inking words, that describe the immense and complex emotions associated with something as unique as friendship. So, for now I'll leave you to my answer on the Friend paradigm in C++ programming language. Below is an image of my solution sheet.

How ever there is one thing that I suppose we can all agree on, and that is, friendship is beautiful, and its fun! And I have the best friends in the world! :D

[sadatanwer]

Blogomania

Yes, that is exactly what I think this is! I have imagined blogging (simply blabbing about usual, unusual, stupid, weird, strange, not-so-strange stuff) for the longest time, but never really came to it until recently, and now that I have started, it just feels epic! I sit here, say what ever comes to my mind and thoroughly enjoy the process and the experience. Its just amazing how much more relaxed I feel when I am writing. Its basically talking to my self in written format, but the pleasure is immense! I must admit, I have been recommending this to all my friends. I feel you should all give it a try, it might work of some might not for the others, but surely, when you are on your deathbed, you wont sit and wonder how life would have been had you started blogging! Well, frankly I doubt it would/will be any different, but who cares! The idea is to do what you want, and what you enjoy, not what you are supposed to do!

Many of you, I am sure are stuck in places you dont really want to be and doing stuff you'd rather not be doing had life given you more opportunities (chances), but the fact is that here we are and this is what we are doing. We always blame things beyond our control for what is wrong with us or our lives, but have you ever wondered if that is justified or makes any sense? Truth? Well, no, it absolutely makes no sense! You are here, because you made the choices, willingly or unwillingly is a different story, but you did! And what can you do now? Well, either you start enjoying if you can, or change it if you cant! You might thing that its not possible or at least its not easy, well NEWS FLASH what is easy? Nothing is! You mother had to walk with a HUGE belly for 9 freaking months and then endure an unimaginable amount of pain before you made it into this world! Friend, (if I may call you that) life is never easy and seldom simple. We have to fight for what we want, be it freedom for our country or freedom for our very existence. We have to earn it. Who knows what will happen next? Will you wake up tomorrow? Will you live to see the next new years eve? No one knows, certainly not you! So why waste what little and extremely precious time you have on things that bring you little or absolutely no joy at all? 

Life is a gift, its a blessing, not a curse, make use of it. Do something for your self, you deserve it, do something for your countryman, they need it, do something for humanity, you owe it! You life will not suddenly change over night, you will have to change it, you will have to make it better! You have to try, and even if you dont succeed, at least you tried. I know that sounds cheesy, but listen to it, isnt it worth a try? Don't you deserve to be happy? Don't be a jerk and say no! 

One shot! One Life! Make it happen! 

To Happiness... Real happiness (and that is not necessarily money or sex, though it could be... mmmm) 

[sadatanwer]

Once upon a time...

When I woke up today morning, I had, and for no known reason, the strongest recollection of one of my old school pranks. I wondered hard on the reason why the memory of such a forgotten time would be so fresh, but then like many things, I dont think it has any significance. But the prank really made me want to recollect it, in more details, so I thought I'd write about it. Generally helps me with the recollection process. 

I think I was in class 8th that is like almost 12 years ago! God its really been a long time! My best friend Shahnawaz came up with the idea of putting an empty waste basket (dustbin) just above the half-way-opened door of the class, (pic illustrates, obviously not my classroom, its my kitchen) and he did this just when I was walking towards it in the morning before classes started.

When I came to the door and opened it, I saw the insane expression on his face, and just then the dustbin hit me on my head! I wasn't mad, no way! I just had an epiphany! I did the same thing, as soon as I kept all my stuff in place, but only this time, I inverted the dustbin! Yey! "Dude, now that is how its supposed to be done!" I told him! And who better to come in next, than Adil, the last piece of our infamous triangle! (Yes, we were well known for being, in simple words insane, if they ever gave an award for the most notorious bunch, I am sure, we would get the lifetime achievement award).

But the trick didnt work, Adil, pushed the door too hard before he entered and the dustbin fell short of him and hit the ground, but the smile on his face told us that he agreed! We were in business.....

We did this to all the classmates who were coming in, and some had a horrible experience with a dustbin on their head, first thing in the morning, some, well just got lucky! We were like Einstein right after he had given the E=mc^2 equation, only happier, because our prank was awesome! Every person in class envied us! We were the "cool dudes". All we could think of for the rest of the day was how to make this even more AWESOME! And boy did we have an idea!!....

After the end of school, when everyone left, (it was usual for the 3 of us to stay a little longer, mainly because Adil's and my mums where teachers and they had to do some paper work and (Shah)Nawaz , well he just loved to be with us in the infinite playground!) we put the dustbins on the door of the class so that it would hit the next person to walk in the next day, but, we did this, in, EVERY, class!! Yes, we walked around the entire school, took out the trash, and placed the inverted dustbin over the door of every class. We were bond villeins! We were the OUTLAWS! Breaking the stupidest of rules back in school made me feel so proud, every time I did something wrong back then, I could feel the sun shine brighter, and my chest just grow! I felt like the KING OF THE WORLD!! 

After we were done with redecorating the classes, we had a laugh and applauded our accomplishment, satisfied, went back home! The next day when we were in class, I think it was the very second class of the day, when the Principal, IN PERSON walked straight in, and said, in her scarringly calm voice, "Who was responsible for putting up dustbins on the class doors? Stand up and it will be short, if you plan to hide, be informed, I know who it was and I will be as strict as I can be!", OMG! There was a severe chill that ran through my spine and I stole a peek at the rest of my gang, we knew we were made! We just didnt know if we were to surrender or pretend. It was the confidence in the principals voice that made me certain that some one had seen us the previous day and informed her, I mean why else would she be in our very class and make the announcement with such confidence? I was sure she knew what she was talking about, I mustered the courage and started to get up, and seeing me, both my friends followed! We were in this together, and they were not going to let me go down, well, at least not alone! 

Immediately, we were summoned into the principals office and in pure rage, blood gushing into hear head, red like a tomato, she asked, "What were you boys even thinking?". Her look had frightened me so badly, I was speechless, so were Adil and Nawaz. We had no answer! She would never understand our motive, she would never understand what being cool meant, or how you even got there! "Are you boys left with nothing better to do than put up dustbins on the doors?", "Give me you school diaries, I am writing a letter to your parents and will suspend you from class for a week!!" OMG!! This was the extent! We had never been suspended! This was NOT happening! I could not believe my self! My parents would literally kill me, or at least disown me if they found out I was suspended! "Ma'am, we were just trying to play a prank, didnt intend to hurt any one, we even cleared out the garbage, (we really did, but left it in the class is a different story) before we put up the bins" I said. "Prank? Are you boys really as stupid as you look? Is this how you intend to play pranks?" We just looked at each other, no one knew what to say, we were just acting stupid hoping that she would calm down and forget the idea of suspending us.Oh! Did it feel like forever before she asked "Whose idea was it?" Divide and conquer, she wanted one of us to rat!! It usually works, but not with us, we were too strong for that one, no one said a word! And then before she asked it again, Nawaz stepped up, "It was my idea ma'am"! WHAT! I looked at Adil, with the "Did he just say that? Is he completely out of his mind? She will expel him!!" expression! (yah we had a facial expression for that, in fact it was generally on speed dial). I dont know what happened next, but she let Adil and me off with a note in our school diaries, and for Nawaz, well, he had to bare another round of humiliation (admiration) in front of the whole school the next day, but none of us were suspended. Guess the principal got what she wanted, a confession and punishment!

That day just made us even stronger, closer and more invincible! We could take the fall for the other! After that day, we visited the principals office almost every other week for something or the other! But we never stopped! We were worshiped by out juniors, we were respected, we even got a name, the "Triangle" they called us. And till this day, we are known! 

Guys, this one is for you lot! I dont know what I would have done without the two of you! And boy, do I miss being a BRAT!! 

[sadatanwer]

Photography

I absolutely love photography! That does not automatically mean that I am an excellent photographer, on the contrary, I, personally, feel that I am if best a lucky shot! Meaning that if luck is on my side, and everything else works to my advantage, I just might get an average shot. 

Then why do I say I love it, or why do I keep up with it? Simple! It makes me happy! Its tough to understand if you don't have a hobby that makes you feel the way I feel with photography, but the fact of the matter is that when I have a camera in my hand, and I am trying to get a (good) image, my heat-beat is calm, my breath is easy and my hands dont tremble. I am what I can at best describe as "at peace". 

For as far as I can remember I loved standing with the camera in my hand than in my face, I ALWAYS wanted to take the picture, even when words like composition and exposure had no entry in my head. Just the sheer excitement of holding the camera and then with the push of my finger, freezing time! Aaah, that feeling! It relaxes me even now. Obviously back then my life was not as horribly complicated or worked up as it is today, but even then, the excitement and the calm, it was probably unparalleled! As I grew older, shit kept happening, the only way to escape from it all, the only means for my disappearance became my camera. As simply as that, it hid me from that time, from that place. Every photo that I take, it is a part of me, with nothing of me in it! Its the drug and I am the addict! 

[sadatanwer]

Pizzas

I have had a roller coaster ride for a while now, done a little of this a little more of that, but one thing that seems to be consistent and might I say for a while now is Pizzas, yep! They seem to be the blood in my system, the energy in my day (no wonder I have been so low) and the life of me.. 

Its literally because of this stuff that I am even breathing today. Who invented the pizzas? Italians? Well probably, but I can bet all my life's worth that no one and I mean NO ONE can meet or even come close to the pizza consumption that an average student has. Its crazy, how much we consume this stuff, on a daily basis might I add. 

Since I am in Germany and I have a whole ton of restriction on what I can and cannot eat, I have settled with buying Margarita pizzas from the supermarket, the frozen ones, I always and I mean ALWAYS have them in stock! The thing I like most about the margarita is that its simple, no hassles pop it in the oven, and if you know how to look at your watch (or mobile, if you are a crazy tech savy person) you just cant go wrong! And then if you are in a fancy mood, do what you like with the toppings! You can become as creative as your heart desires, I have tried quite a few things on my own might I add. But the taste of the simple margarita is probably the best. 

Why am I telling you all this? Dont really know, but I was hungry, had pizza for lunch, supper and now even dinner, fact of the matter is I am chewing on one right now, the pic I posted! But that is not why I am writing about it,..........or is it?  Frankly, even I dont know, and at the moment I dont even care to find out! Too tired to do the math on that one! 

Math, that reminds me of my Maths class, its funny, how the people responsible for scheduling the class at my university thought it was a "nice" idea to keep maths class at 8:00 freaking AM. Yes! And God has it been bad! If memory servers me correctly (which by the way, doesnt usually(talking about my bad memory, I dont know why, but its become insanely tough for me to remember people's name, like really really though, just today, I met 2 new guys, had asked them for their names 3 times, and to think of it, cant really recollect what they said)) I have attended only 5 I think of a total of 25 or something classes till date! Yes! I know I am bad! I sure as hell dont know what Ill be doing in the finals. I have a friend, who did promise to help me with my mathematics, but then after trying to help me a few times, he has probably decided by now that if he tries to teach me any more, he'll forget all that he know! Life is really unfair! 

I totally wished I had a brain like the kid lawyer dude from the series suits (what's his name? see I told you). I mean how cool could that be? Right! 

Coming back to pizzas, I think mine is a little too sour, probably the tomato init has become a little funny, but who cares! Isn't college life all about experiments and risks? 

If you ask me the whole point of this blog, I'd probable have to make one of my super confused faces (which again I doubt really works, I tried acting confused to this stranger once and she probably thought I was on a killing rampage, but that is for later). I have no idea why I do half the things that I do, I probably just do them, because I can? Or maybe because I dont know what else to do, dont really know, dont really care. As for the question, what was that again? Aah (I can always look up and read, not that stupid you know!) Nop, no idea why! 

[sadatanwer]

Dubai, in my words

So, today, lets talk about Dubai!…..

Why Dubai, well because its been on my mind for the longest time, even before I visited. I had heard so much about it, so many amazing stories of how the place came into being. If you search the internet or youtube Dubai, you will come across a million links on how the country, in just 40 odd years became one of the world’s most visited place. Host to some of the best and possibly biggest shopping festivals, with buildings that are not only marvels in the field of Architecture, but also science and functionality. Dubai, in my mind had it all, and I, wanted to see it, I wanted to see it all of this, first hand! 

So, I had decided, on my way to Germany, I was going to stop over in Dubai for a few days, smell the air, and feel the place. 

This is an image of the Dubai skyline, taken in front of the Dubai Festival City mall. and man was this mall huge, it had probably on of the biggest IKEA stores I had seen in my life! (Yes, bigger than the ones I have seen here in Germany). I absolutely love this picture, because it has everything that the city has to offer, wonderful beaches and amazing waterfronts, parked with some of the world’s most expensive yachts,and in the shadows, the buildings! Dubai has and I know I have said it a million times before, but hear me again, “The best buildings”. It is a concrete work of art! On the very left, the tallest is the crown jewel, THE “Burj Khalifa”. The tallest building of its time. I have become a total fan of this one, The needle like tip, and leaf shaped segments which grow in number when you look from top to bottom. I totally wanted to go to the top, “observation desk” its called, but could not manage to get the time and make the bookings so, left that for my next time. 

Another one of my favs, this is a close view of the Burj taken from its own courtyard, situated in the Dubai Mall. If I am to remember correctly, it is the largest mall in the world!

The grandeur of the  Burj after dark, 

The entire city just becomes so much more beautiful after its enveloped by darkness. The streets are lit like everyday is Christmas, the buildings glow radiantly making their presence felt even after sun down. Colors and shapes take a different definition. 

This is Dubai, from the very famous Dubai marina, host to probably the most expensive real estate on the planet. 

This city has so much to show, I feel that a mere 3 days is not enough, all I could do was scratch the surface, if you ever get the opportunity to go, seize it, do not let it pass, I am sure you will find something of interest.

This is the courtyard of the “Shaikh Zayed Mosque” in Abu Dabhi the capital province of the UAE. The 3rd largest mosque in the world, after the 2 holy mosques in Saudi Arabia (Mekkah, and Madinah). and also the holder of the largest single piece of Carpet. Yes, you heard that right, the record for the LARGEST carpet. I was told that the carpet inside the mosque was hand made in Turkey, and then flown in with special crafts men, to be fit into the mosque. The outsides have ornate works of marble and glass, with stunning embroidery on the roofs. Its BEAUTIFUL to see how something with such intricate attention to details can be made. (And I always thought writing clean code was frustrating). 

Everything in this place, right from the washrooms to the mosque itself is worth admiring. I was stoked!! And I am hell as sure you will be too!! 

The sheer size of the structure, with a man standing in the courtyard. Its intimidating in every sense of the word.

Beautifully cut and placed colored glass, gave sunlight some personality.

I know most of my pictures, if not all don’t do the slightest bit of justice to what is really there, you have to see it first hand! But be sure to go there during the winters, because if you are not used to the extreme desert heat, (Yes, Indians are not, its not hot as hell in India) you will probably get some really weird skin infection or something that will make you a walking experiment for the dermatologists when you are back! (Trust me, I know!!) 

Apart from that, its a nice place to be! 

I really hope you had fun seeing Dubai from my shoes (camera, same thing). Please feel free to drop your comments or feedback if you have any, 

Well then, until next time… 

I don't know why, but I saw a naked dude at a party recently and I keep wondering why was he running around shirtless, what was he thinking… hmmmm…