We are all afraid of something, and I can safely say that no one is not afraid of anything. Some of us are scared of the unknown (future, space, death), some of us fear the known (Exams, girlfriend/boyfriend, death), some fear success, some fear failure, some of us fear more than the others, but fear we all!
Why have I decided to write about fear today? Simple, I too, just like you are also scared of a ton of things, and the top of that list is, fear itself! Yes, I am scared of fear, and so I thought I'd talk myself through this one. So here I am thinking out loud trying to reason with myself, and hoping in the process to make something that is just as interesting to read as it is to write.
When I say I fear, fear. I am trying to say that at times, I am scared of fear of anything, or everything that it becomes very constricting to do anything. I know it sounds really funny to read that line, and I too am laughing at what I just wrote, but to me that line still makes perfect sense, because I know what I am talking about, it might be hard for me to explain that to you or anyone else at the moment, but it still exists.
Is fear a good thing or a bad? Well I'll try and get to that in a bit, but before that we'll try to understand what fear is and how it arises. My understanding is that it’s something that we have acquired over time, and is mainly there for our protection. If you've noticed, a small baby or an infant is probably the most fearless person in the world, they don’t even blink when you snap your fingers right in front of their faces, and are probably the only ones who can put their hands in a running blender with a smile on their faces! So, one thing is clear, we were definitely not born with fear of anything, but then as we grew older and life taught us bad lessons, we learned that not everything is good for us and we'd be better away from some things. But if you look at your self today, you’re probably afraid of a lot of things that don’t really cause you any harm. Why? When did we go from being super babies to coward grandmas?
Is fear really a good or bad thing? Well, like I said before, it’s not concrete. Today you are afraid of putting your hand in a running blender, I'd take that as a good fear (if you love and value your fingers), but when you are afraid of asking a girl out, out of the fear of rejection, hmm, how can you be so sure she will reject? Not really a good one. At least I don’t think so! But then why some of us are still afraid of things we know won’t kill us? That’s the question I wanted to answer in the first place! I think it has something to do with our comfort zone, our minds (emotions, reactions (heart) your real heart only pumps blood nothing really serious) are just as lazy as we are, and it tends to scare us when it senses a change! Take the secret crush example, why are you sacred of asking her out? The worst is she will say "no!", or she might even say "Yes!", but in both cases, your mind will now have to work to make that adjustment! That is what we are scared of, we are not scared of the "yes" or the "no", we are scared of the change! We are never scared of the exams, no exam has ever eaten a person alive (none that I know of, if your exams expect you to dance in front of a lion, please don’t read this part) we are all scared of studying for it, and even if we have studied, the uncertainty of the results is what scares us.
Now that we know what fear is and what causes it, can we be in control of it? I am afraid, No! Why? Well because then your mind will have to take into account the changes and develop new patters and reactions, (a LOT of work for the lazy brain) so, even if you tell yourself that you are not afraid anymore, don’t worry, you are only fooling yourself, your brain also know that you still are!
I really like what Will Smith had to say in that movie after earth, probably the only thing I liked in the move "Fear is not real, danger is!"
So, don’t put your hand in a running blender, that's stupid, but go ask that girl out! She just might say YES!
