I accidentally took a break from RP around Dec 26th and have actually enjoyed my time away. This blog is a very positive place for me, out of my other blogs, and I will return. I’d love to stay in touch with my friends and mutuals so please feel free to add me on Dis//cord ( (screen)writing#4143 ) – I will come back here, but I feel very grounded working on my screenplay for my IA Project and a personal fanfic project. I love all of you and you’re so inspirational to me and making Alice was such a good choice for me. Thank you for understanding.
“they’re all oblivious jess, don’t let it get to ya. you’re my twin, not rose, our bond proves that right? just don’t let them annoy you.”
“It gets to me. Like they’re invalidating something. There’s something superficial about their comments, Jas. Something that feels real ingenuine. I love Rosalie, but I ain’t a natural beauty like her. Took some modern fashions and a wife who’s excellent with a sewing machine to make me look like much of a lady.”
“He..he found me.” she mutters breathlessly, not even realizing that Jess was talking to her until she felt hands cradling her cheeks and familiar thumbs rubbing against her cheeks. She took in a shaky breath as she let the feelings of love, safety and calm wash over her. She was grateful for the emotional boost and she finally managed to take in a deep breath. “It just says that he knows where I am. That misses me.” she spits out the last part as she looks towards Jess with wide eyes. “What can the cops do? He isn’t threatening me.” she had been through this before ad had to deal with cops telling her that he wasn’t breaking any laws.
“You have a restraining order against him. Contacting you violates that.” Jess gives Alice a kiss on the forehead, still cradling her face. She moves one hand and takes the letter from Alice gently, putting it on the counter. “He’s stalking you, bambi. That’s a crime. Besides. We have Emmett, he wouldn’t let some creep mess with his little sister would he?” Jessamine smile encouragingly.
“Oh I will.” The petite brunette replies as she tosses her a wink before she’s going back to her fabric. “Really?” She raises to her knees and offers her wife a bright grin. “We’re going to have so much fun, Jess! I already know what fabrics I need and want so I promise that I won’t have us in there that long.” Which was more than likely a lie. She could spend hours in the fabric store.
“Mhm.” She knows it’s going to be a while, but she doesn’t mind. She loves the clothes Alice makes for her and these trips help make her wardrobe a reality. Jess could always pack a bottle of coconut water in her bag, or smoke an herbal outside the mall if things got overwhelming. “Not too long, okay bambi? I only have six herbals left.”
“A butterfly.” She muses with a growing smile. “That would be beautiful.” small fingers gently trail along the deer before sliding up to trace another tattoo. “I think you already know what you want, my love. Tell me what you’re thinking and I’ll draw it for you.”
“Aargh, okay!” She covers her face with her hands, laughing sheepishly. “A bird-- yes a bird. A hummingbird. Do you need me to go on or do you have a perfect mental image yet?” Jessamine peaks out at her wife between her fingers, still hiding her grin.
headcanon // When Jessamine joined the con*ederate army she was running away from her ailing father (early dementia) who was pressuring her to marry a man she didn’t know who wanted to make a “real woman” out of her. Because Jessamine was a tall, broad, strong, greasy girl who loved horses, and climbing, and had a plucky personality and that was not what a woman ought to be.
Her nightmare was real, because despite most people in her life, she couldn’t persuade this man, Eugene, to change his mind no matter how she tried it. She was afraid of this man, despite being taller than him, and able to fight him should she have needed to. But she saw a cruelness in him that made her sick. The last straw was a comment he made about how she’d become tamer once she bore children. The army sounded kinder than his touch and so she ran away and never looked back.
Her persuasion worked to her advantage, and she was able to avoid being found out as a woman for years, until she met Maria just weeks after being promoted to Major. Jessamine had taken pride in her work, of making sure women and children were taken care of, tending to the animals as much as possible and ensuring the morale of those she oversaw. It was never about sides for her.
Her PTSD stems largely from watching young men die, not from combat but disease and starvation, as well as the civilian casualties. Primarily though it was from all the horrors she saw as a newborn vampire. The gore, the emotions she felt with her amplified pathokinesis, having to kill peers, feeling the fear of those she fed from, the emotional struggle of being aware of how Maria was manipulating her, hurting her. It’s all from there.
Now, as a gender non conforming, tall, queer, mentally ill woman, the kinds of attitudes put forth by people claiming pride in the con*ederate flag, and using it as an excuse for bigotry disgusts her. She regularly donates to charities helping black communities, and has on several occasions torn down con*ederate flags from cars, lawns, and even windows.
She has to leave discussions sometimes because she can’t speak up without it getting extremely personal for her. She was there, but the further behind her it gets, her anger and passion about a war “her great grandfather” participated becomes less understandable to her peers. Essentially; Jess doesn’t consider herself a con*ederate major, she considers herself as having been a soldier.
She considers herself extremely lucky to have seem minimal combat during her service, lucky to have had to the ability to avoid it, and to immerse herself into missions that felt less deluded and selfish. Once she became Maria’s second in command, she understood much better the benefit of the con*ederate loss, and felt little homage to the state and country she’d signed up to fight for.
Currently Jessamine donates to organizations that ensure healthcare and aid for veterans, as well as mental health support in general, as well as being vocally anti war, and supporting relief efforts in war torn countries that the US has been involved with. Time and connections have allowed her donations to avoid fraud and corruption and go directly into aid.
i work at a gym largely frequented by older women, and today as one of them left after her workout she accidentally pulled the entire door handle off and just slowly looked at her bicep in horror as if she was terrified of her new strength. it was beautiful.
ooc // updated my rules -- i tend to soft block those im not interested in writing with. I’m very mutuals oriented, and because i have had history of my ex (very popular blog) stalking my blog(s) I prefer not to have “stragglers” watching me y’know? it’s absolutely not personal that i soft blocked you, nothing against you, it’s all me and my own weird shit.
It feels like she’s sinking deep into the floor and then into a pit. A pit she’s been in before and that she vowed to never see herself in again. But here she was. He was back and he knew where she was. She doesn’t know how he found her or how he managed to get her address but the mere thought of him knowing has her skin crawling and the urge to flee grow and grow until she’s all but panicking on the thought. “He found me..he knows. Jess. How does he.. how does he know where I am? I thought..” her light voice coming out just as quickly as her breathes.
“Hey, hey, look at me.” Jess reaches out to cradle Alice’s face in her hands, stroking her thumb over her wife’s cheek. “You are still safe here, we’re not gonna let this get further than it already has.” Jess kisses Alice’s forehead, fostering a feeling of calm and focus, of safety and love and willing it past the stress her darling is clearly feeling. “We’ll call Emmett, okay? We’ll make sure the cops know... can you tell me what the letter says?”
“But I like showing my affection. Sometimes kisses aren’t enough. When I’m out shopping and I see a pair of boots that remind me of you I have to get them for you. I like seeing your little smile.” Alice replies with a grin as she sorts through her fabric. She hummed lightly in her direction as she replies. “I know. I know.”
“I know. I think you should give me more kisses anyway.” Jess shakes her head, watching Alice fondly. “I’ll go fabric shopping with you.” She offers in a sing-song voice, knowing Alice loves the company and may want to compare colours to Jess’s complexion.
“Why must you ground me, Jess? I’m like a little bird that needs to fly. In order to fly and thrive I need to shop and buy things for my love.” She flutters her lashes at her before she’s crawling over to her desk and dragging out her fabric samples. “I will have to go buy fabric. I’m running for low.”
“I don’t need you to buy me things to know you love me, Bambi. I can literally feel it.” She smiles warmly. Jess watches her with a TIMELESS AFFECTION, laughinG softly to herself. Even without foresight she could have seen that coming. “I can’t disagree with you on fabric shopping. We can buy fabric for several items for less money than those same items could be in a store...”
ooc // if anyone has unedited rp icons, and want a nice psd or something, i’m 100% willing to make something for you. i would just need you to send me a zip of your unedited icons, and i could have something ready in a few hours.
“Oh it must be those pictures I asked her to send.” Alice exclaims as she eagerly grabs the one from Cynthia first and opens them up. “It’s the only ones she could find with me included and I asked to send them to me.” her voice soft as she drags a gentle fingertip across the surface of the first picture. “The other doesn’t have a name? That’s weird.” She tucks Cynthia’s letter away so she can look at them later and takes out the other letter. “Weird. But yeah really pretty.” she muses as she opens the envelope and tugs out the letter. As she reads she can’t help the frown that slowly invades her features and the trembling of her hands. “Oh..”
Jessamine senses THE SHIFT IN MOOD instinctively. She turns the heat off under the burner she was using, shifting her focus onto Alice with a strong sense of concern. “What is it?” She asks, a careful edge to her tone. There is only so much Jess can guess at-- a death in the family maybe, or... “Alice.” Now she can make an educated guess, so she breezes past Alice and over to the front door, making sure it’s locked, and arming their SECURITY SYSTEM with a satisfactory beep. Jess steps back into the kitchen, slipping a comforting hand over Alice’s shoulder. “Bambi, talk to me...”
