held between heaven & hell

bones, bikes, jittery scribblings and failed recovery.. if u are easily triggered this is not the place for u tw: mental health, addiction, personal struggles

[sakibombs]

• 23m; this is my safe space to talk about my battles with my eating disorder, sh and mental health

• atp i have given up on recovery and am simply trying to coexist with things around me. i do not wish to speak about recovery.

• vices: fast bikes, sugar free Red Bull, adrenaline, horror and sci fi movies, art, warm blankets, black coffee, alt music, punk ideals, bones, tattoos, the macabr

• DMs are open but understand i do not owe you a response. i am friendly, just don’t be an asshole

• 18+ only; no minors, plain and simple. be kind.

[sakibombs]

i loved you so deeply and unconditionally that when you left, you took most of me with you. i lingered so long in my grief i learned how to coexist with the void in my chest created by your absence. i became comfortable with the ache of emptiness; nurturing it as if it was a wounded piece of me to heal instead of a parasite consuming from within. i began to embrace the cold, the pain and the endless quiet. i sought out the dark and spent sleepless nights wishing for nothing more than to disappear right along with you. for a while i tried. failed. and failed again. you were right, i am stubborn. years later my heart is still working to mend itself. you visit me in dreams, lively as ever. my mind plays in that light, in the safe space of what we shared. i wake from these micro doses of peace to find myself alone. i no longer know how to exist in tandem. and while the grief no longer has me by the throat, the memories of moments shared where i can recall just how incredible it felt to be cared for, and to truly care for someone in return, sit heavy in my chest, stealing the composure it’s taken me years to regain. i have been told that grief is merely love that no longer has a place to land. if there is truth to that, i hope beyond anything else that you knew just how much you were loved. i hope i never left you to question that. and if given the choice to make once more, i’d still choose you. and endure this all again. even if for only one more day.

[icaseybaybee]

[sakibombs]

reblogging this for all the people who’ve put in effort, who’ve sacrificed bits of themselves and who’ve doubted their own self worth..

you deserve more. you are worthy. you deserve happiness.

[sakibombs]

lil sunset ride to take the edge off

[sakibombs]

this thing is the only reason I have any semblance of sanity

[sakibombs]

kwak kore 🏍️💚 idk just really like this color and it makes me happy

[sakibombs]

not gonna be ‘happy’ until there’s nothing left of me

[sakibombs]

[house0fburton]

[unsterbliche--geliebte]

[flyesp]

[sakibombs]

quit my shitty job, lined up interviews for the back half of the week, took the bike for a ride and ended up 3 states from home. woke up this morning after one of the best sleeps of my life. amazing how shedding toxic shit can instantly lighten you mind and soul.

[angel-b-torture]

[daisyxoxo11]

Citycore

[sakibombs]

the wires are so crossed self destruction has become a form of masturbation

[rebelculture]

[sakibombs]

says the dismissive ‘friend’ who’s never known the hopelessness of being suffocated by mental illness, grief and an ed all at once

[sakibombs]

has anyone tried these? thoughts?