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the rain: makes that soft rain sound

me immediately:

this post is a roller coaster, not in the way that people call wild posts “roller coasters,” but in the way that i knew something was up when i started reading the first paragraph, it was like the track slowly rising up, the wording just tipped me off, i knew there was going to be a serious drop that was going to give me whiplash, but when it arrived i still wasn’t ready for it

canadianstuck

One of the funniest things I ever experienced was when I went to go see John Mulaney live, and halfway through a bit about how expensive college in the States is, he looked down at the sleeve of his suit jacket and just. stopped. dead halt, mid sentence.

And after like three seconds, where we’re all trying to figure out the punchline because the story clearly hadn’t ended, and John Mulaney quietly says, “Has there been tinfoil on my buttons the whole goddamn show?”

He’d taken his suit to the drycleaner, and they’d wrapped the buttons on the sleeves and the coat with tinfoil to protect them, and John Mulaney didn’t notice until half-way through his set, and was SO FLABBERGASTED that he never did finish the story about college and instead did five minutes on how stupid it was that his buttons were reflecting the light and he just didn’t notice, and in that moment I understood more about John Mulaney as a person than I ever have.

ournameisfun

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

sammysausage

When I saw him in Ft. Lauderdale, there was a bar in the lobby that people kept leaving to go to. At one point, a guy in the front row just got up and BOOKED IT to get drinks. John Mulaney looked over at a woman who was next to the empty seat and asked, “Are you with him? What’s his name?”

She was, in fact, with him, and she did tell him her date’s name. John Mulaney considered this, looked around, and unplugged his microphone. Leaning in to us, he told us that we were going to trick this guy so fuckin hard. He said, “At some point during the show, I am going to stop and say, ‘Well, you guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale,’ and then you guys are all going to scream back ‘WE LOVE MILKSHAKES!’ He’ll be so confused.”

He then continued on with the show as normal, the drinks guy returned to his seat, and that was that for quite a long time. We thought he had forgotten about it until, at some point during what I believe was his McDonald’s drive-thru bit, he shrugged his shoulders and said, “You guys know what they say here in Ft. Lauderdale…”

Naturally, we erupted with “WE LOVE MILKSHAKES” and John Mulaney SWUNG around to face the drinks guy and said, “I bet you’re real confused now, huh, JASON?!”

windyvalleyzone

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

jxhn-mulaney

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

parakavka

fancy--tuna

eunnieboo

my love for girls is back and better than ever

ruinedchildhood

writing-prompt-s

Futuristic humanity resides underground, with no one having been to the surface in thousands of years. Recently, large tremors have been detected that originate near the surface. A team is sent up to investigate.

thehotgirlproject

sounddesignerjeans-deactivated2

Visit Original Link

I TRIED TO EDIT BOULEVARD OF BROKEN DREAMS AND I FUCKED UP

DO YOU THINK ANYONE WILL NOTICE THAT THE VOCALS ARE NOT AS THEY SHOULD BE

mildlyfunnybritishstuff

i WALK a LONlee ROaD, Thr ONlEE ONE ThAt I HAV EvA KnOWN.

faaffy-deactivated20251026

BuT itS Onlee Mee aND I WAalK AloNE

randythegaymercub

I had to see/hear this, so now you do too

polysixxxx

This is a kind of pain which demands others experience it.

whore-heartedly

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS IM

nightlustrous

IM WHEEZING

sneksanders

PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS I’M BEGGING YOU

evilmuffin

OH MY GOD

meyonto-deactivated20200616

@waxy-doll PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS I CANT BREATHE

meyonto-deactivated20200616

@waxydoll never a bad time to bring this back

corducat

Msi version

tantrum-2018

“Msi version” IM WEEZING

jordyjinx

why is this actually one of the funniest videos i’ve ever seen .

wereralph

this 7 second video has no business being this funny

suprememoroi-deactivated2020051

okay but why was he summoning pterodactyls?

porterr-robinson

one-time-i-dreamt

I played Sharpay in my school’s production of High School Musical (I’m a 6ft tall guy) and I shared the part with this girl who looked nothing like Sharpay either. Instead of having one of us play Sharpay the first night and the other one play it the following night, the first person would run off in the middle of the scene and the other one of us would run on the stage and finish the scene. Also, all the costumes were only in her size.