Also (you've unlocked a rant, forgive me) as somebody who doesn't want kids and is terrified of pregnancy - I have to admit the idea of having kids with Evan has struck me as very cute at times cause you KNOW this man is gonna be a fun dad (and take responsibility!). Like I'm just washing dishes and the little demon in my brain is all "hear me out-" and I spend too much tike on that thought.
I've thought about making a fic of this, even. Imagine coming home to him being a pretty dipshit meow meow with his little litter of dipshittens
Someone sent in an ask for this a couple weeks ago - sorry for the wait! Also I'm not sure if you meant like a three way type or deal of relationship? I went with relationship since you get both SFW and NSFW either way!
Being in a relationship like this would actually be so fire and I'm just realizing how much I've lowk always wanted this??? Is anyone's polycule taking new members??? Holy shit lmao
TV-14 - MDNI Explicit sexual content, fluff
SFW
No matter who started the relationship or if you all three just simultaneously went "fuck it we ball" - no one can imagine you three apart. The trouble trio, if you will.
We don't support Harry Potter, but im pretty sure most of us read or watched it as children, the line "Why is it always you three?"?? Yeah that's you guys.
You three are also like this half this time:
If you guys all move in together, Evan starts calling your guys' place the "party house". And when either you or Steph inquires about this decision, he says it's because it's "always a party with you two"
And even if you're not living together yall can never find the clothes you're looking for cause your closets have gotten mixed up somehow. Steph ends up with NONE of her shirts and only some of yours and Evan's, Evan ends up with your underwear, you've lost all your pants. And nobody has a damn clue as to how this happened.
Evan is a very touch centered person - he's always hugging and kissing and bumping into you guys and so on - which means that, unfortunately, when one of you gets sick all of you are getting sick.
COMMUNICATION. I've said before that Evan would be a sucker for consent and communication on everything, and so is Steph. They're very healthy partners.
And if you've never had a healthy relationship before? They're gonna take such good care of you dw.
NSFW
In a 1x1 relationship Evan is a switch but leaning toward top - and he's usually domming nonetheless. But you and Steph are too fucking good and he will whine and cry all night underneath you guys. Strap on, riding, oral - does NOT matter.
Steph always snuggles you guys after, covering each of you in a bazillion kisses.
They're both pretty open to try and kinks or positions you want so long as nobody's getting seriously hurt! Got an idea you kind of wanna explore? They're down to give it a go.
you’ll be barely lucid, hands reaching for anything to hold. your legs spread and aching, your lips glossy with his spit. the bed creaking and moaning with every push and pull of his hips.
he’ll loom over you, wicked smirk on his lips as he takes you.
the first time he did it was on a whim.
your hair kept falling over your pretty and flustered face, and he was not happy with that. so, in a fit of irritation, he yanked the hat off his head and put it on you.
it unlocked something primal in him.
you—bare, vulnerable, malleable, so sweet—crying for him while his hat rested on your head. he didn’t care if your sweat soaked the fabric, or if his hair was now getting in his face.
and when you’re riding him?
he’s all over you.
death proof cap pulled low over your face, the only visible feature was your parted lips as you bounced. his hands would dig into the plush of your thighs, groaning as he took what you gave.
and when it was over?
the two of you would breathe and bask in each other presence, and he would take his hat off you. he’d use the bill of it to lift your chin to him, kissing you before pushing it back over your hair and whispering:
I made sure to pay attention to most of the references of what he wears (hence the white zombie music) and other random stuff.
I wanted to add Shaun of the Dead or Dawn of the Dead when all of them are deciding on a movie to watch and those two came up mentioned but the edit would be too long 😞😞
Getting lost with her? Pffft you could get lost in her eyes alone. God I love her.
TV-PG
At first she's gonna try and keep everyone's spirits up - you guys are gonna be fine, there's no use in panicking yet. It also helps her remain calm as well.
If you're the one who got you guys lost, she's gonna tease you relentlessly about it for the next year.
If it's been a while and you guys still haven't found your way back yet, she's gonna be a bit more touchy. Bumping against you, holding your hand, whatever. It makes her feel a little bit better.
^ She's still cracking jokes though.
And as long as you aren't freaking out, she's keeping her cool too. She strikes me as someone who would be worried, ofc, but still keep her head on her in situations like this. But once everyone around her is also freaking out, it's harder for her to not show worry.
When it's all over, she'll look back on it as an adventure. You guys were fine, and it was an interesting experience anyway! Why not make something out of it, yknow?
Plus - it was a nice distraction from all the college work.
Hi I just realized I haven't had even so much as a chance at a personal interaction with someone my age in 3 months. Have some Evan Headcanons and enjoy my breakdown.
TV-PG
It doesn't matter which one of you got lost in the first place, he's gonna be all "No ik where we are, turn left" for a good half hour before he finally admits you guys are lost.
If you guys are lost in the woods, he goes into survival mode the second he admits you guys are lost. He's immediately going for shelter and fire, listing out his entire survival plan to you as he does so. You'll find a way out later but he needs to ensure you guys have a place to fall back to just in case.
In the case of getting lost in the woods, that night he's INSISTING on sharing body heat. Even if it's summer.
He's also gonna be panicking for a bit, using up his entire dictionary of profanities while he reads the map over and over.
But not once do you feel blamed for the situation, not even if it's entirely on you. It happens to the best and even if he wanted to be mad (he doesnt), he knows you're feeling just as bad as him - if not worse - so why rub it in? Why not just comfort you?
He also will ensure that you feel safe the whole time. No matter what happens or where you are, he's making sure you know he's got you. He's not gonna let anything happen to you.
About halfway through he starts complaining about being hungry just to piss you off
When you guys eventually find your way, he's gonna make some (jokingly) arrogant comments about how he "told you I'd find the way out!" Whether or not he was the one to actually find the way or not.
^ Also throws his arm around your shoulder and kisses your cheek
ID. OP image is a photo of someone reading two books at once. Visible is the outer cover of the Bible, which is edited to have the cover for "House of Leaves" by Mark Z. Danielewski. Propped up inside the book is a Minecraft manual which is much bigger than the other book and clearly visible.
Reblog image is screenshotted tags reading, "this is just a normal part of house of leaves. if youre reading it right." End ID.
Found myself reading Habit smut in this coincidentally rabbit-themed bar I had to show you.
Shoutout to @sporkdefender for writing my fav biblically accurate Habit fics. I eat them up every single time—I wanna eat that sick, deranged dog of a man…or creature, to be exact
Evan would have a healthy, rational reaction to jealousy -he'd examine he's feelings and remind himself of where your relationship stands and take a breath. If that just does not work and he's feeling insecure, he's gonna calmly talk to you about his feelings of insecurity and open up a gentle conversation between the two of you.
Life be going great until the guy who writes about non con-ing Drunk characters (multiple, separate posts) and incest kink!Habit starts reblogging your work
*sigh* literally anybody like this can yall PLEASE fuck off my blog??? Why are they always on my shit??
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