Tumbling through Tumblr

23 | shit dude I just exist idk | virgo communist gay whore stuck on the west coast

[epilepticsaints]

[chrispineofficial]

“tumblr is an echo chamber where people only see opinions of other people they agree with” please be serious. i have longtime beloved mutuals who are swifties. your experience is not universal

[legendary-scholar-deactivated20]

Fireflies photograph in trees with long time exposure.

[greatmountainfloofsquatch]

He was right: I do not believe my eyes.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

WAIT. Wait wait WAIT.

poltergeists:

push things off tables

break delicate objects for fun

in general just enjoy moving and destroying stuff for pleasure I guess

make loud disturbing noises in the middle of the night

sometimes poke or bite people, depending on the myth

are invisible aka no one knows what they look like

poltergeists are just the ghosts of rambunctious housecats

[another-random-dom-3]

“The power of Christ says psspsspss! The power of Christ says psspsspss!”

[real-live-human]

*fills a spray bottle with holy water*

[visloka]

You sprinkle Miette with holy water? You get her ectoplasma damp?! Oh! Oh! Hell for Mother! Hell for Mother for thousands of years! 😾

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

This just hit me. I’m so Southern my family has a matriarch and no one in the family knows for sure how old she is. We all also got into a heated debate about the existence of her glass eye (still not confirmed). She’s in her 90s- we think- beat cancer, outlived two husbands, had seven children and has outlived three of them, survived The Great Depression, and either her dad or her grandfather was a full blooded Cherokee Indian… possibly the tribe’s leader but no one really knows for sure.

She also once lit into my dad’s school bus driver, cussing him black and blue about how he treated the kids and didn’t realize she had a butcher’s knife in her hand until he RAN away. She didn’t have any more trouble out of him.

[whitebeltwriter]

…I wish to know how and why this just occured to you, please

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

I had an eloquent reason but really what it boils down to is I think Mamaw is a cryptid. The running joke in the family is that Mamaw will be at the end of the world with the twinkies and the cockroaches.

I’m not sure it’s a joke anymore, I think it’s a premonition.

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

Two years ago one of my cousins wanted to bring her wife to thanksgiving and Joe was all “ew no way” and Mamaw stood her ass up and said “Who the hell do you think you are, saying who is and isn’t welcome in my house? This ain’t your house- you get out! I say who is welcome and YOU is not welcome. Now SCAT!” while slapping at him and then sat back down and asked my cousin if her wife ate catfish. Joe tried to come back in and she popped the tennis balls off her walker and threw them at him until he left

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

No matter how old Mamaw gets, her hair is still solid black. She still hasn’t gone gray and she’s never once died her hair. Her kids all have heads full of gray hair, and my father- her grandson- is starting to go gray. Mamaw? Nothing. I swear she looks exactly the same as she did when I was a kid.

[alone-to-dance-deactivated20240]

Mamaw got Covid-19. She presented with symptoms and was rushed to the ER with a dangerously high fever and next to no oxygen. The doctors took note of her age (she’s apparently 93 as best she can guess) and her vitals and, well, Mamaw wasn’t gonna make it past Monday.

By Sunday night the fever was gone and she was complaining that the hospital didn’t get WWE and she was gonna “miss my wrasslin shows!”.

She was home and completely fine by Tuesday. By Wednesday she was calling up the anti-maskers in our family just to call them idiots and hang up.

[tempest-in-the-storm]

bro i dont think you’re Mamaw is human

[jumpingjacktrash]

#she sounds like the type that#they have a saying about:#she won’t die until God and the devil come to an agreement about who has to take her

[caats]

LMAO this is so funny ♡♡

[teathattast]

[gluten-free-pussy]

WHAT

[theshockinglyeloquentdog]

Pusheen is married?!?

[lilkearnsie]

PUSHEEN HAS BABIES?!?!?

[grimauxiliatrixofficial]

Queen Of Keeping Personal And Professional Lives Seperate

[mortimermcmirestinks]

SINCE WHEN IS PUSHEEN A GIRL

[foulfowledfool]

an absolute queen. her birthday is febuary 18th

[mist-the-wannabe-linguist]

she's Irish

[helloitsbees]

everyone say happy birthday pusheen

[a-frog-in-a-bog]

“I want to decompose in a bog” well you clearly don’t know the first thing about bogs. Clout chaser

[thebigbiwolf]

Huge fan of the phrase "get pickled, idiot"

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

night sweats are so unfair. bitch i am literally just lying here

[person-just-existing]

It's demons licking you

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[dontbeanassbutt]

everyone say thank you greta

[markodragic]

massive shoutout to that guy who threw eggs at the king today and shouted "this country was built on the blood of slaves"

I only see 1 king in this picture

[markodragic]

this is presumably in case he violates english law by using them to make edible food

[stonerssaytherealestshit]

We got the guillotine…

[foggy-ghosts]

he has the looks of a depressed english professor and the soul of a whore.

[hockpock]

ADHD time blindness be like "oh, today is the 30th? that's fine, December is still next month, that's forever away!

...what do you mean tommorrow?"

[hockpock]

happy 1 year anniversary to this post,

DECEMBER IS TOMMORROW.

AGAIN.

[netherworldpost]

by the moon how does this keep happening

[sammyfaeyrin]

just discovered a new type of girl in the wild today. watched this girl walk out of the convenience store and bite her energy drink open

[mieraspeller]

[blackpyrefly]

its fucking dember.

[ancharan]

this wasnt even fucking posted in dember ops a liar

[blackpyrefly]

^ victim of my device that makes you forget what time zones are

[iamoutofideas]

*puts my cigarettes out on you*

[frogmoss1]

*wuickly smokes it all before you can reach me*

[iamoutofideas]

oh a wise guy huh? *rolls up my sleeves* why I oughta…

[frogmoss1]

*wuickly rolls your sleeves back down before you can hit me*

[sistertaxon]

mr krabs’s license to kill expires tomorrow

[sistertaxon]

⚠️ ❗TODAY IS THE LAST DAY MR KRABS CAN LEGALLY KILL. EVERYONE BE SAFE AS HE IS LIKELY TO BE OUT FOR ONE LAST HURRAH❗ ⚠️