Samar's Artspace

My name is Samar Makouk,I'm a Bostonian living in Portland Maine.I am a New Media Junior at Maine College of art.I animate,illustrate and now I am a brand new game developer and love every minute of what I do. I love to create cute,colorful,and...

[knightingaleforce]

alright that’s enough of that…hah.   （’へ’）

[ocset]

twitter followers cat ver./ 트친고양이화 하기! 아직 파트3이 남았는데 언제그릴지 모르겠다.

[samarmalade-blog]

More self health for today. Anxiety is one of the most complicated states to be in . Anxiety can make it feel like you are drowning and no one is there to help lift you up. You need air but you are just constantly floating . We have to remember to take a deep breath sometimes because we all need air. Be sure to holds someones hand even if you don't understand the problem. Anxiety is a monster that can ingulf someone whole and sometimes empathy is a a temporary cure. Remember to breath .

[samarmalade-blog]

My first piece out of a collection I will be doing for the Women of Color show this Summer.

Mom:Hey habu you'll make it through just fine Me:But when does it get better? Mom:Well it just will you know ,everything is always rough at first and at this part of your life you'll know who is going to stay by you during your darkest times.

5 years later.

Mom:Hey habu ,I love you. Me:Mom. Mom:Yes? Me:You were right. Mom:About what? Me:I found the most amazing people in the world. Mom:You mean they found the most amazing girl in the world. Me:It gets better mom,I just wish I knew that back then. Mom:Does it still hurt? Me:Ya a lot,there is a lot of crying Mom:Tears are better than no emotions you have compassion don't lose that. Me:Sometimes its hard,people can say awful things and the words told to me years ago still hurt Mom:As they should but you have to know you are brave and strong and you grew up just fine. Me:I don't feel alone anymore Mom:I don't feel lonely anymore either.

My work is going to include the strong woman in my family,even after all these harsh times they all stand up strong .Through war and heart break I look up to these women because they have been to hell and back and I need to know I am never alone,we are all never alone. Take the time to remember those words do hurt and you may not know when it gets better,but hell it does.The people you meet in your life will leave such a big impact and never ever hold a grudge even if you think its the end of the world. Everyone has a story so lets sit down and listen to it together.

[samarmalade-blog]

This is the result of what a panic attack and fatigue looks like . I have bruises over multiple parts of my body from the fall and patches which were put on my skin easily bruised my body as well . I don't remember much of the night, I went to the bar with some of my class mates since we had finished out finals . I had got about an hour and a half of sleep from those two days . For the past month though I have been stressed to the point crying was a thing that happened about every other night. I had recently came out to the people I truly love and even my mother about my sexual assault that happened to me about 5 years ago when I was in Highschool . For the first time in 5 years I didn't have to carry that burden and I didn't have to hide my feelings . Sure I cried a ton but coming out is an exhausting and big step . Eventually I came out to my mother who I was afraid to at first since I grew up in a Muslim household , she was so supportive . All my friends were and my professors as well who I see as family members. I was afraid I was going to push the ones I loved away because of what I am going through right now and coping with what had happened 5 years ago which I had ignored for all this time. That had led me to isolating myself to the point my family hated me and my father and I never spoke and when we did it turned into fist fights . I later went to college and dated a boy , this was a big deal for me to trust someone . But I was in a relationship I didn't want to be in but dealt with it because neither of us wanted to be alone . I eventually built up courage and we had a mutual break up after a year and a half of dating. My courage grew that day . My second semester Junior year of college a film was played which explained the rape which had happened during the crusades and they described a girl covering her face and crying during the event , I panicked and remembers my own incident . I ran into my roommate Stacy and told her , that was the first time someone ever cried with me . I was later put into counseling to help figure out how I would come out to my mother and how to cope with recently coming out . That same day I came out to someone I truly loved and they were supportive but with me coming out I also mentioned other things which hurt me like past relationships . This person began to not see me as much anymore and even went to the point of how weird I am that I mention my ex . I mentioned him because he was a big part of my life and my step to further showing my true emotions instead of hiding them . He later stated that would give other guys red flags and not want to be with me in a relationship . I was shocked . With no sleep and the stress of everything I had a group of people who held my hand and made sure I was ok . I thought I was okay . I collapsed that night at the bar . I don't remember much but I remember people calling my name the flashing lights of the ambulance and hearing my blood pressure was way too high and that my body shut off for the period of time . I called out for my mother my friends later told me. I was semi unconscious for about an hour but It get like 1 minute . I was in an ambulance on my way to the hospital and I couldn't remember my mothers phone number , luckily my roommate was able to get my brothers phone number from the guy who I recently was fighting with . I knocked out again . When I awoke in the hospital bed I had a realization of what had happened and my heart sank . But I looked at my roommate next to me and she was there holding my things tightly happy I was able to wake up . Walking has been hard I shake a bit and my body has still now fully recovered , I even sat in the shower . But I was surrounded by the people who loved me through the good and bad . I guess my next step is to keep holding onto these wonderful people who care about me so much and live my life to the fullest . I'll never forget any of these events in my life and I'll be sad about them but that does not change who I am . I love myself and the world around me and that is what pushes me to wake up every day . Please if you know someone struggling stand by them . We all need each other . Remember to always take care of yourself and that you come first . Don't be afraid to ask for help , I know it's scary at first but trust me it does get better .

[adelle-ein]

sailor moon relationships; minako aino and usagi tsukino

[samarmalade-blog]

An animation based on who I am

“I am what I am 

Simple and relaxed

Think about that

This is not who I am

I am someone complex and radiant

Simple

Complex

I feel confused and unafraid “

This is a small section of this animation is my favorite

I feel like it stands alone but I will post the rest by the weekend.

[samarmalade-blog]

Forest background for my animation.

[samarmalade-blog]

                                                       Siren

Daughter of the sea

The river and my dreams

She sings me a song

While the rive moves along

Her smile draws near

The sailors full of fear

She brings out my dreams

With eyes full of lies

Til she sings her lullaby

Goodnight-

Sirens are women of the sea,the daughters of the rive God Achelous in Greek mythology. They lure men in with their beauty and song,the island they live on as well has lured sailors in alone. The sailors are so blinded by beauty that it leads them to their demise.

source:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Siren_%28mythology%29

[zero-jr-blog]

Thinking bout the spring and sunhats

[samarmalade-blog]

doodle

[samarmalade-blog]

                                                 Heinzelmännchen

Down on the earth

found and afraid

running out of the house

Hiding by the forest of mushrooms

For one to look 

Fortune shall be lost

The Heinzelmännchen is a little humanoid creature which blend with their environment . In a small town in Germany they did all the work ,while to people played and slept. One day a curious woman looked for them and once she had found them they had disappeared forever,never to help the townsfolk again.

Source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heinzelm%C3%A4nnchen

[samarmalade-blog]

                                                              Jinn

In and out

Through a shadow

Unseen by man

Created by man

Wishes which become unrequited

Like a love

A love full of false which fill with magic

Through the dessert sun 

Through the lands

They wait for their unrequited love

               The jinn which is also know as the mighty genie is from Islamic mythology and pre-Islamic,they are even found in the Quran. They are all powerful beings which  had been thrown out of heaven for disobeying god. They travel the world invisible to humans and will not be able to go back to the heavens till judgment day.

Source:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jinn

[samarmalade-blog]

                                                      Futakuchi-onna 

“Yum yum 

Young girl

Yum yum 

Eat eat eat

Consumption with mind

Mind with consumption

Yum”

Futakunchi-onna is a Yokai which stories come from Japan. This yokai is a part of the woman’s head with mouth teeth and all. The being has a never ending hunger and  if it is not pleased it will harass the human it is attached to.

Source: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Futakuchi-onna

[samarmalade-blog]

Its Nates birthday today so I painted him with his favorite Ghibli critters.

[samarmalade-blog]

                                                            "Enko"

Child of the river

And endless journey

The river moves one way

While the child goes another

Follow the path child

For the end will bring your beginning .

The Enko belongs to Japanese mythology ,it is also known as the Kappa.Its name means water child.Though the appearance varies in different regions of Japan the most common is a green scaly ,child-size creature with a beak and a shell on its back. Their stories go from innocently farting on people or drowning young children and animals intro the river.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kappa_%28folklore%29

Artist note:Decided to focus more on the painting and help tie in my pieces of work.

[samarmalade-blog]

Needed a new self portrait .I also miss my kitty cat back home.

[samarmalade-blog]

                                                 "Dryad"

Shy and hide

Scared but sly

The forest is home

To a young Dryad's hymn~

Dryads are creatures of the forest.They are often unseen and hide away in the brush of the forest of which protect them. They belong to many greek stories and poetry.The goddess Artemis is the only outsider the forest dwellers had.