буря.

I solemny swear I am up to no good. | I don't even know what this page is about anymore.

[godface]

Send him memes and nudes.

[samdashh-deactivated20210615]

Need me a freak who will send both

[amandaseyfriedsource]

Amanda Seyfried talking about fainting on the set of Les Miserables. (x)

[infinitarisus]

[matialonsorphoto]

[paprika]

maybe i should send you a bill for all my time you wasted 

[writing-prompt-s]

A dating service where matching is based on people’s search history exists. You’re a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer.

[endreams-s]

Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it?

Writer: Air shot between the toes, it’ll look like a heart attack.

Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok

[honeypressed]

Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts

Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes

Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks

[moonreflectioninthefragglepond]

A++ addition

[tetsuskitten]

Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they’re writing* babe, i’m not sure if this would actually work?

Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you’re doing great

[tigerliliesandcherryblossoms]

I LOVE THIS

[vmohlere]

Oh no, murder comedy is my jam

[mysticmisfit89-deactivated20140]

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

[stickystigmata-deactivated20190]

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

[bioticdisaster]

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

[ghirahim]

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”

like, fuck off with that

[fuzzyfishesandscaleymice-deacti]

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

[medie]

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.” Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people. I’ve always said that moose hunting season is the one time of the year we’re allowed to fight back.

[violent-darts]

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

[harukami]

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING

Moose are terrifying, you guys.

[cybergata]

rina_takei

[obeekris]

“Why did it take you 10 minutes to clean 1 window?” “There was a cat.”

[porterr-robinson]

[devon-aoki]

dog:

[charmantecats]

[magiashley]

this is so sad, alexa please stop collecting my personal data without my consent

[blackcatfemme]

then why??? did you buy a device where’s it’s purpose is to always listen to you???

[magiashley]

yo guess what

[mashironn]

[hattiecattie]

Bisexual pride cat has graced your dash

[quitebisexual]

Okay so this is amazing

[victorian-hoecake--stonghold-art]

Have another proud kitty!

[hattiecattie]

So much pride!

[chellodello]

May I introduce my gay son and daughter?

[hattiecattie]

They are radient

[tautologys]

Proud Boy

[hattiecattie]

Such a Good

[69shadesofgray]

just lou lou things

[4i20]

[friendly-animals]

(Source)

[cheaphalloweencostume]

every time I tell someone about my potato allergy they go “oh that sucks I can’t imagine not eating fries or mashed potatoes!” and im like oh rest assured nether god nor the devil himself could stop me from trebucheting hot spoonfuls of starchy face-swelling throat-itching good shit into my dumb as hell gaping potato receptacle

[noxtheox]

kramer i’m still not over the fact that you thought the potato sweats were A Thing

[cheaphalloweencostume]

I simply assumed we were all willing to suffer for our passions