everything you are falls from the sky like a star @sammythemattressthief - Tumblr Blog

chowder deserves to be on the sharks. let him live his dream!

also discovered that my favorite patater trope is when alexei has a huge crush on kent and kent is oblivious and thinks his own crush is unrequited. and then its slow burn only because it takes 10k words and lots of antics for them to accidentally realize they've been in love the whole time.

freebooter4ever

happy belated birthday kenny, (also happy belated birthday @thoughtsofthegirlwiththecurl!!!!), get loved loser, be careful with those skates

skeletonzimms

my contribution to the check please! fandom today

freebooter4ever

happy belated birthday kenny, (also happy belated birthday @thoughtsofthegirlwiththecurl!!!!), get loved loser, be careful with those skates

be-bisexual-eat-hot-chip-and-lie

hear me out

patater anastasia au. tater is anya, kent is dimitri, swoops is vlad.

thank you for listening

generalghosty

here's a sleepy boy for the parse enjoyers

skullism

I'M SO CALM AND NORMAL ABOUT THIS

source

rottenpumpkin13

all of soldier gets sick how does asgzc lazard and pr react

Lazard starts the emergency online press conference looking like he hasn't slept in three days. His tie is crooked, there are visible coffee stains on his shirt, and the vein on his temple is doing something worrying. The Shinra PR team is just off-camera in full panic mode.

Lazard: Good afternoon. I'd like to assure everyone that there is not a virus going around SOLDIER. The reports of mass illness are purely coincidental. SOLDIER's health remains our top priority.

Lazard: To demonstrate that our top operatives are perfectly healthy, I've brought out our finest example of peak human condition—Sephiroth.

*The camera pans out to show Sephiroth standing stiffly beside Lazard, face blank, arms crossed*

Lazard: As you can see, he's healthy as a chocobo and the health of SOLDIER is not in jeopardy—

*Sephiroth sneezes*

*Lazard slaps him*

Sephiroth:

Lazard: Moving on! Sephiroth isn't the only one immune to this non-existent illness. We also have—Genesis! Genesis, come out here. Genesis?

*Lazard grabs Genesis by the collar, and drags him on camera. Genesis is fully encased in a hazmat suit, carrying a spray bottle and misting the air like it's a spiritual cleansing*

Genesis, muffled: Don't breathe near me.

Lazard, shoving him away: Never mind. Useless. Angeal! Where's Angeal? Angeal is perfectly—

*The camera pans to Angeal in the background wiping Sephiroth's nose with a tissue like an exhausted mother dealing with a cranky toddler*

Lazard: No do NOT film that.

*The camera cuts back to Lazard, whose soul has visibly left his body*

Lazard: ...Anyway. As you can see, everything is under control and none of my SOLDIERs are sick.

*Zack bursts into frame, wrapped in three blankets, eyes glassy, nose red*

Zack: I have never been more sick. Director, can we order soup?

Lazard, to the camera: I have never seen this man in my life.

*Cloud walks by the camera, Lazard grabs him and pulls him into frame*

Lazard: Look! Exhibit A. If this isn't the absolute picture of health! Bright-eyed, strong, resilient—look at him! Not a sniffle, not a cough! He's practically the poster child for SOLDIER wellness!

Cloud: But...sir? I'm not in SOLDIER. I'm infantry.

Lazard: WHY ARE YOU EVEN HERE?

#ffvii

altocat

By using cat gifs and images. How would Angeal, Sephiroth, Genesis, Zack and Cloud would react upon being picked up?

Angeal:

Genesis:

Sephiroth:

Zack:

Cloud:

#ffvii

breezeinmonochromenight

Sweep the knees

art by @kitsunebaba

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rottenpumpkin13

asgzc, who has the most difference between their normal everyday speaking voice and their "i am talking to an animal i think is terribly cute" voice?

Sephiroth: Normal Voice: Deep, commanding, intimidating. Makes cadets cry by just saying "Good morning." Pet Voice: Same rich, resonant tone, but the content is so bafflingly out-of-character that people don't believe it until they see him petting a cat while casually saying "Your behavior is exemplary, Mr. Mittens. Well done. I shall give you a fish snack, and we shall feast to celebrate."

Angeal: Normal Voice: Stern, mentoring tone. The voice of responsibility and SOLDIER honor. Pet Voice: Reduced to an incoherent puddle of affection. Guard Hound pups make him coo like a doting parent. "Who's the good boy? Oh, you're the BEST boy! Look at those little paws—stop it, you're breaking my heart!" If the puppy tilts its head, Angeal might actually weep.

Genesis: Normal Voice: Reserved, articulate, soft-spoken, theatrical, sophisticated. Pet Voice: All sophistication evaporates the moment he spots a fluffy creature. "Look at this adorable creature! LOOK AT IT. I MUST have them. Oh, my goddess Minerva, the EARS! I could pen sonnets to the sheer magnitude of such endearing charm!" <- probably talking about Sephiroth in his lap lbr.

Zack: Doesn't count because there's no difference. He talks to everyone and everything in the same excited puppy voice anyway.

Zack: Hey, buddy! Who's ready to play? You are! Wanna go for a walk? Yes you do! Oh yes you do! Who's my cute buddy?? Cloud: …………

Cloud: Normal Voice: Shy, soft-spoken, quiet, polite. Pet voice: What throws people off is that Cloud is surprisingly conversational toward animals.

Cloud: So, there I was, trying to get through my post, and of course, Sephiroth showed up again. What do you think I should do? Do I confront him about it? The cat who may or may not be Sephiroth: No. Cloud: Yeah, I guess you're right—OI!

#ffvii

rosy-crow

I love this moment so much ghfjfhd the music all upbeat and hopeful when he joins aaaaa 🥲 💔

altocat

I love it when he's randomly sassy or playful out of nowhere. It's like his post-Nibelheim self but without any malice at all. Somewhere in that hollow shell, the guy is a total goober.

s-ephiroth

i really like the music here because in my head i can only picture "you've unlocked the Super Secret Sephiroth Route™ in this dating sim" when 1. rebirth isn't a dating sim game (gold saucer is the only thing close enough to that i guess) and 2. cloud protests in a way that makes me feel like he's about to experience torment... even though the whole scene ambiance still screams "we're gonna go on a mountain date with sephiroth :)", so the whole thing feels like we're going on a date with sephiroth against our will and he's going to fight us to death somehow, even though he means absolutely no evil here

good luck :)

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