When the fandom says deansam are equals, it’s mutual, balanced codependency, I think about Rest Energy by Marina Abramovic and Ulay.
Woman holds the bow, keeping the whole fragile structure from collapsing forward. Man holds the string, the arrow nocked and trembling inches from her heart. They lean into each other’s weight. Perfect tension and trust.
Sam’s life is literally resting on Dean’s control, his choice not to let go. Sam isn’t in charge (he never was). The power is uneven by design: Dean could end it in an instant and Sam has to trust him with everything. Total vulnerability on one side, total responsibility (and the ability to destroy) on the other.
If Sam lets go? The bow snaps forward uselessly. It hurts a little, maybe snaps the string across Dean’s hand, but the arrow doesn’t fly. The arrow will never land in his chest, he will never die because of it. If Dean lets go? The arrow launches straight into Sam’s heart. He will bleed and die. It’s Dean’s choice to let Sam suffer or not.
That’s the imbalance. Sam can only stop holding it together. Dean can actively destroy.
And Dean lets go, over and over. Each time Dean releases his grip — chooses anger, violate autonomy, to rape, coerce, guilt trip — he fires the arrow. Sam bleeds, he carries the weight of being the one who has to keep holding the bow even when the string burns his fingers raw. Dean wounds Sam more often and more deeply than he ever truly protects him. Sam, though thinks about Dean’s wellbeing. He would never treat Dean the way he treats him.
They trust each other enough to keep holding. but trust doesn’t make it equal. The other has the power just to end the performance. They’re not equals, if one of them is always the target & victim.
and it’s never dean.
