Sami

I use this app as my very own diary so bear with anything that comes out my mouth

[samuelster]

had someone ask if me and my friend were dating and instead of rolling w the joke she immediately ran to clear the air 😢 damn am I that disgusting ok

[samuelster]

my jealousy is such an ugly thing but at the same time if I don't get jealous of your other friends do I really love you

[samuelster]

play flirted too hard now I'm having dreams about her and getting butterflies everytime she talks to me. it's so joever. I'm forever trapped in this cell

[samuelster]

sometimes I forget I have to actually check the road is empty before merging in. my bad. sorry I almost got into a horrible car accident today. I'm just a beginner. dude kept the horn pressed for a solid 20 seconds tho. a bit overkill in my opinion. sorry I almost crashed into your car tho. totally my bad. won't happen again.

[samuelster]

I really really really do love it when I get letters from my friends. It's just that letters are so important to me in a way I can't really explain to anyone who asks, I've spent my entire childhood unable to talk about my thoughts or feelings because I simply didn't know HOW. So when for the first time my friend sent me a letter to tell me how she felt, it just unlocked something sooo deep inside me and it just felt like I could breathe again.

Letters are the best way to communicate your thoughts to someone and this is a hill I'm willing to die on, the way they can see your scribbles as you thought and rethought your words, the sentences where your pen stuttered for a second, as though you braved through your worst fears and wrote down your raw feelings.

Writing letters is like telling someone "Here you go, I wrote my heart on this piece of paper and it means everything to me. Please don't tear it apart," and watching how someone handles your feelings and vulnerability, it makes you feel a certain warmth nothing else brings you.

I really love writing letters and getting letters and it's the one thing I really really hope my friends never stop doing. Please be careful with my heart as I bare it all to you, please don't abandon me and shred me to pieces, please please please tell me you care enough about me that you're also willing to rip your heart out of your chest and place it dripping with blood in the palm of my hand. I won't mistreat it, I'll carve a place for it right next to the cave where my heart once lied, and is now in your arms.

[samuelster]

I miss when shit was good between us

[samuelster]

I hate how fast my mood changes like I'd be having a good day and one thought would sour my entire mood for the day.

today was my dad's birthday and I was just spending time with him in the living room and he was showing me some videos he liked and all I could think was "oh my god when will he stop"

I hate how mean I can be sometimes even if it's in my own head. I don't want to act this way towards my dad I hate it. I hate how often I have shitty days now.

[eas7revenge]

get the 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴 out

[samuelster]

hehehe new fic dropping soon!!!

[samuelster]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Check it out if you want to!!! I love these idiots so much

[samuelster]

hehehe new fic dropping soon!!!

[samuelster]

felt cringe writing an indulgent scene about one of my favourite idiots. took a step back and consumed all the fanart surrounding them being idiots and in love. the work is back in progress.

[samuelster]

finally figured out how to end this one wip I'm working on but now I'm too lazy to write it down hashtag my spark has been dimmed

[samuelster]

why is writing characters happy harder than writing them living in absolute chaos and basically kissing rock bottom

[sunhazeys]

u ever wake up from a dream like “damn i guess i’m not coping with THAT as well as i thought i was”

[samuelster]

I think that

being the kind of person that's not allowed to/ not comfortable in voicing out their feelings, you either get very distanced from what you feel or you focus on it so much that you know exactly what you're feeling but you can't really voice it out

but not being able to say it out loud doesn't mean you can't write it down exactly as you want it and with the perfect descriptions for it. It's so wonderful I think, seeing how I can write these characters and suddenly they're feeling what I've felt for a while and now I know exactly how to describe it the way I wanted to all those years ago

like yes, this is how I felt mom, but I was too scared to tell you so now I'm having this character tell it to someone when all I've wanted was for you to hear these words coming from my mouth

[samuelster]

am I crushing on my friend

get me out of this hell I cannot do this again

[samuelster]

Goodbye, My Danish Sweetheart by Mitski but make it Jason Todd and Batman ohhhhhhhhh my god