better pray for hell, not hallelujah @samwisegumtree - Tumblr Blog

lovebillyhargrove

Actually all billy and harringrove shots are absolutely insane and absolutely iconic

groovysarity

I picked the wrong week to quit sniffing glue

ahavaas

:)

which MDZS character is BEST in bed?

wen ruohan

lan qiren

wen ning

mo xuanyu

su she

wen zhulio

xue yang

jin zixuan

sect leader yao

Voting ended onJul 31, 2025

NO bald. NO nuance.

"OP you forgot –" stickers will be awarded for CREATIVITY, but you guys don't get a button.

ahavaas

#god damn y'all ROBBED my BOY#who on this list has the stamina of a high level cultivator. a service kink visible from space. and a hundred extra holes to fuck. NOT XY!#xue yang? you think xue yang's a generous lover?#i love him but lbr he is theee most selfish masochist.#all that being said. the correct answer here is Wen Ning. @henshengs incredible and slightly unhinged propaganda for su she (and his hundred sexy, sexy holes)

#guy who doesn’t think other people are real is good in bed???? No. @lansplaining with accurate anti-propaganda for Our Winner Xue Yang

#this is a grave misunderstanding of the term 'body count' @hydrofelicity HELP.

#this is giving me a chuckle. XY is absolutely guaranteed dogshit in bed#give literally every single one of his points to su she. @travelingneuritis with additional su she propaganda

henshengs

Personal ranking:

Lan Qiren: repressed turbovirgin who would probably faint if he saw a nipple and is still hung up on the girl who pulled his pigtails in ninth grade. 0/10 nothing is happening here

Sect Leader Yao: misogynist middle aged dad. he can fuck but it won't be good. 1/10

Wen Ruohan: he's got that cultivator stamina, definitely fucks, and is very hot in every version of canon, but he's a wannabe emperor, he's not going to be a considerate lover. 2/10

Xue Yang: as has been pointed out, he doesn't think other people are real and is unlikely to care about your pleasure, and he also thinks SSC is for pussies. but if choking a goth twink is your dream and you don't prioritize survival you might have a great night. 3/10?

Jin Zixuan: he'll probably cry and be excruciatingly awkward the whole time especially if you hit on his mommy issues. but he'll put the effort in and be a gentleman, unless he doesn't like you and is only doing this out of obligation, in which case it'll be miserable. 5/10

Mo Xuanyu: I have to admit he's also likely to be a virgin but he's definitely fantasized about everything and would be thrilled to try it out. 5.5/10

Su She: 10/10 if you're Jin Guangyao. 7/10 otherwise because he's keeping his shirt on and thinking about Jin Guangyao while you do it, but he's competitive enough he'd still want to make sure he did a good job.

Wen Zhuliu: yeah he probably fucks like a machine. 8/10

Wen Ning: medical training, knows his anatomy, Good Boy who's eager to please, undead superstrength, will make sure you stay hydrated and bring you snacks afterward. 12/10 definitely best lay.

mariposakitten

Flawless analysis EXCEPT: Lan Qiren. You did my man dirty. LISTEN. He may be a virgin and he may lack passion but he is STUDIOUS and he is DUTIFUL. Which means! 1) Unlike that fuckboi Wen Ruohan, he would consider it his duty to please his partner in bed, and 2) the moment he even considered sexual congress he would immediately go to the forbidden section of the Lan library for treatises on how to do it right.

Would he approach said treatises with grim determination? Yeah probably. Would he develop a goddamn exercise regimen for his tongue and practice it religiously? Hell yes.

This man is getting at minimum a 5/10 for technical skills alone. Maybe more. He's determined.

henshengs

I reluctantly have to admit you have a point. He also genetically has that dog in him.

ahavaas

#lmfaooooooo #mdzs

peanutbutterangelic

shes kind of gay, she hates your boyfriend, she has a leg tattoo, she WOULD waterboard a child.

dailynarnia

is jake gyllenhaal gay??

why would you ask us, a narnia blog, this

helloitsbees

happy pride month to this post specifically

sowwwl

two children in a motel - ethel cain

jame7t

there’s a war between Sucking and Fucking

jame7t

you people cannot be trusted in the war room

themoonandmyman

#myshane couldn’t give less of a fuck about queer culture he just likes dick in his ass and he loves a Man. If you asked him about Stonewall he’d think it was the name of a tech startup.

#myilya is a fag and he loves it. him and harris watch queer movies once a month with Harris’ mom and they drink margaritas with little umbrellas in them.

shane:

I wish they made it even marginally possible to get a job like I’m so fucking sorry I don’t have a rare but also highly demanded skillset, an agreeable disposition, and the ability to survive off of three nickels a week I’m soooo sorry

enbaluka-tokyo-drift

helloelicia

My mother finds the fact I have nothing on my fridge unsettling because her fridge is totally covered in stuff (photos, magnets, etc).

So now I'm curious...

My refrigerator is

blessedly empty: a visual rest

joyfully full: a visual feast

somewhere in the middle: stuff ends up here idk

somewhere in the middle: carefully edited

somewhere in the middle: functional or gtfo

i don't have a refrigerator

Remaining time: 17 hours 5 minutes

#shit all over it!#cringy magnets #bills #childhood photos (i am old)#pictures of my passed pets 🥰🖤#an abandoned note pad from like six years ago lmfao #idk i see a fridge and i wanna stick shit on it call me bogan or poor or whatever its what you DO hahahh #oh and dont forget stickers!

vacuously-true

Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.