Tragically enamored lovers ✦ | Yuji Itadori
❥ cont. angst, mentions of death, gn!reader
synopsis: you’re Itadori’s lover, and even during your last moments together, you can’t help but to catch glimpses of who he used to be, of who you used to be together.
Despite the chaos, your excruciating headache, and the echo of the sirens in the distance, your mind paints a silhouette in front of you; the boy you fell hard for and never had the courage to stand back up after. You feel your blood run cold, or perhaps that’s the aftermath of your incessant bleeding.
Yuji’s topaz eyes never seemed to shine bright anymore, if at all. There’s only a dull ache visible in them. Although moments of tenderness between you two can come and go, it’s significantly less, if not nonexistent. Is it selfish to ask for your lover back? The once gleeful and cheerful boy is only a shell of who he used to be and you can’t blame him.
Yet you also can’t help yourself. The boy’s shouldering the weight of the world alone, since he refuses to allow you to help him. Even worse, he thinks he’s a monster with the possibility of hurting you. Just because he doesn’t want the reassurance doesn’t mean you don’t, right? There’s little you could’ve done to stop your heart from being picked apart, string by string every time you asked him the question.
“Yuji, you don’t have to do this alone. We’re supposed to work as a team, you know this.” You tried your hardest to stifle the tears threatening to spill from your lash line.
“This isn’t a group effort and you know it. We know we can’t change the future, so why try so hard to change something that’s irreversible rather than making use of the time we have left?” Yuji’s hardened stare only served as fuel to the fire, the strings holding your heart together unravel faster by the minute.
“I just want to feel like you still love me! Do you even love me anymore?” You couldn’t help the anger building in your stomach. How many times will you do this? Ask him the same question?
“You know i’m trying my hardest to support the both of us, while simultaneously trying to combat against this monster. I’m letting you lean your weight against me despite barely being able to handle my own.” Yuji’s voice is cold, a stark contrast from the boy you’ve known since you two were still in diapers.
That was two months ago, yet the painful reminder persists. You can’t help him, even if you groveled by his feet and begged him to depart from the bloodshed surrounding you both. His genuine smiles were so rare you began documenting them. The last time you recall him smiling was during December, when you’d prepared his favorite sweets and felt his warm smile thaw your cold heart. The gleeful gleam in his eyes was back and you remembered setting up a mistletoe the following day, a mischievous plan created in pursuit of his affection.
You couldn’t convince yourself there was an end to your story, at least not yet; not when the chapters of your story were rushed and scribbled in fading ink. Your time together was diminishing, so much so that you’d spent your valentine’s day alone. He never left you hanging, even when the two of you were just friends. You’d pictured a marriage between the two of you in the future and you would’ve vowed to stick by his sick in sickness and in health, so why do you feel this way anymore? It’s selfish. You shouldn’t want to change the trajectory of his path, or who he’s become.
You’re sprung back to your senses when you feel a faint caress on your cheek. You know the shape and feeling of his hands by heart, so why does this feel so wrong? Does his hand feel too cold or are you becoming anaptic? The audible wreck is fading and you can only hear Yuji’s shaky breaths as he sits on the rubble by your side. You don’t remember much, not after out of your crippling desperation trying to fight against Sukuna for taking away all that you love.
You feel your love flatlining. You’re not sure if it’s because you feel your love dying out or if it’s because you’re in fact approaching your death. You try to open your mouth to speak with much difficulty, only to have Yuji place his finger over it to conserve your energy.
“You said you’d never leave me. You’re leaving like the others did.” For once Yuji’s eyes weren’t stone cold, yet it somehow hurt more to see the way his tears would accumulate and his shaky breathing would indicate an approaching break down. You don’t know why so many of your memories together surfaced, but it is proven that a person may experiences memories surge as they’re on the brink of death, no?
You don’t want to leave him but it’s hard to stop the exhaustion from overtaking you. You don’t feel much as your eyes begin shutting, yet you feel the ghost of a pair of lips. Your lover. Nothing will stop him from destroying himself in the process of defeating Sukuna now.
A/N: I was too nervous to proofread and this is my first time writing like this so please bear with me! Might be ooc but i’ll work on it!
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