[evilvillain123456789]

driving 90 minutes to my favorite empty lot to smoke 1 cigarette

[cognitohazardous]

then its literally not you girl

[heavensghost]

[poppin-pom]

A what…

[pangur-and-grim]

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

[pangur-and-grim]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

[bapouro]

1890s: Suckles your cock sardonically with brevity, and wit.

1900s polishes you off nicely

1910s: nobbles spiffingly

1920s: mm nice whoopee

1930s: finishes you clean-like

1940s: suckles your willy with dignity and valour

1950s tugs you off like a cool cat

1960s: blasts you far out (the tip of your penis)

1970s: funks you real mellow like

1980s: slobs you in a bitchin style

1990s: eats your shorts

2000s: like, sucks ur d man

2010s: sucking mindfully and with swag ..

2020s: Who Knows What The Future Holds....

[horbse]

H

[auberylis]

O

[horsefigureoftheday]

R

[fabledgalaxies]

S

[the-arcade-doctor]

E

[circus-mcgurkus]

!

[horsefigureoftheday]

[pointnclick]

Someone is eating a fresh orange in this McDonald's. I smelled it and my head snapped up like a hunting dog. That smell doesn't belong in this wicked place

[redstonedust]

more musicians should write about completely made up situations. i dont wanna hear another breakup album thats obviously just the singer venting about their ex. its boring. i dont care. make up some OCs and write crazy POV songs about them killing eachother.

[alixero]

Ninja Sex Party's entire discography honestly

[fluentisonus]

remember in p.e. when they'd take a bunch of insecure teenagers & be like "today we're going to play basketball" and then not teach you how to play basketball. and then put you in a group with guys who were obsessed with basketball and would get mad at you for not knowing how to play basketball. why did they do that

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

[coughloop]

Wait how the hell does she have two different bangs at once

[larkstonguesinaspicpart1]

You cannot comprehend the powers of an italian woman from new jersey

[milf--adjacent]

Not now. Mommy's making a 12 note post.

[milf--adjacent]

Dammit to hell

[yourbonesarenowmycoat]

[ID: Screenshot of this post with 13 notes. End ID]

[woodmeat]

Are you alive

Don’t ask me no personal shit like this

[jinjilion]

Sleep well, good hunter

[memeuplift]

[mossspores]

life if comes fucks me

[tunisian]

all the "marry me" recipes need to hurry up and get a divorce

[valtsv]

you are my friend and to some extent the altar upon which i mount my guilt

[valtsv]

you are my friend and to an increasing extent the saviour i worship

[valtsv]

you are my friend and i hope something ruins you before i do