the most fuckable person in the grocery store

28 • theirs/his • can you take my white ass to en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_conspiracy_theories ?

[depsidase]

[national-rail]

me: do you think this train touches the overhead wires normally or do you think she gets freaky with it

train conductor who i've been distracting from my lack of ticket for 35 minutes now: y'know i think she gets freaky with it

[relelvance]

A woman's place is on the battlefield

[vympr]

so you think women should die

[duncebento]

funny how you immediately assumed the women would lose the battle….misogynist much?

[vympr]

you're right i will reflect on my behavior. sorry women

[cottoncandylesbo]

(alien being shown yaoi) and you're saying, the men... have sex with each other? the men?

(alien being shown yuri) ohhh ya we do this shit too lmao

[temothylol]

[the-frog-blog]

“What if I derp?”

Oh my child, but what if you me gusta?

[littleguymart]

(source)

[7ae-deactivated20140920]

[flowerbleedme]

tumblr post from the delirious and and strange thoughts of those awake at 3AM: how can you make a kitten fly? with a cat-apult!

tumblr post made in perfect clarity at 11:45AM: sex with a Spiders

[lizardsfromspace]

Tried looking up what noises foxes make and the first video I found was very unhelpful

[cervidcel]

nice blog! have they diagnosed you?

[boltlightning]

I DONT CARE HOW MANY BEDS THERE WERE. WHAT IS YOUR BOOK ABOUT

[trekkiesagainstchastity]

(tearfully) w- working at the mattress store

[boltlightning]

i'm so fucking sorry. can you ever forgive me

[mi-ciudad]

as my grandma would say in this moment shush girl shut your lips do the helen keller and talk with your hips

[mi-ciudad]

We met at Starbucks. Not the same Starbucks, but we saw each other at different Starbucks across the street from each other.

[globalmutt]

Call that the star-across-the-street lovers

[mi-ciudad]

🛑 STOP turning everything into a Shakespearean tragedy you

[mi-ciudad]

he’s portuguese it’s in his nature

[bananacockroach]

Hit the hay so hard last night that i found the needle

[phantomrose96]

“Tumblr age verification will not be needed,” tumblr staff states upon confirming every single blog on the site is more than 10 years old.

“If you were literate enough to be posting about Johnlock in 2015 we can kind of just assume you’re good,” staff elaborated even though we did not ask them to.

[confield]

whole american economy rn is like, ai, gambling, and ozempic

[37q-archive]

do you think truckers realize that theyre dentists of highways

[antiandrogen]

explain

[teamnowalls-deactivated20180918]

they both fuck twinks at gas stations

[opposite-of-a-problem-deactivat]

explain