[sanguisana]

#SANGUISANA — independent portrayal of GARRETT HAWKE of Dragon Age II, written by Hope ( she / they ), 18+, sideblog to @astraldestiny

› CARRD | BLOGROLL

[sanguisana]

need to write more inquisition era garrett hes so done with everything and just here to be a complainer tbh.

[oflosechesters]

There are men who struggle against destiny, and yet achieve only an early grave. There are men who flee destiny, only to have it swallow them whole. And there are men who embrace destiny, and do not show their fear. These are the ones that change the world. ↳ DRAGON AGE II  /  GARRETT HAWKE

[onceawake]

Not always. But often enough. Sharrah's head inclines just slightly in assent even as Garrett continues to speak, not quite waxing poetic about their wayward Warden, but still enamored enough to continue on, despite hesitance of a truth she'd like to hear from him, if not Anders himself. Drawing conclusions was one thing. Understanding that she was not wrong, having no gift of magic herself, was another.

At Garrett's defensiveness, however, the Warden snorts. "I care little for the Chantry's view on mages. They've long proven I cannot trust them." Nor did it matter — a Warden-mage was no longer supposed to be bound by Chantry rules, yet they'd stopped at almost nothing to rip Anders out of Amaranthine. "And it is... Justice. He, at least, I would trust not to turn Anders into a twisted thing of demon."

( somewhere, she could swear she heard Merrill saying there was no distinction, but Sharrah was no mage to quibble about such differences )

And it has been a decade. Had Anders become something like she had once seen in Kinloch, it would have happened long ago, she suspects. No, whatever arguing and bickering and horrors he and Justice had seen, Sharrah thinks they found their unity.

[sanguisana]

Perhaps he ought to dwell among those not raised under the chantry more often if Sharrah's relaxed attitude towards their conversation topic was any indication. It was a relief, a rather unexpected one. He had expected the worst at any admission of Anders and Justice's bond, was it so frequently decried as the inevitable END of any mage, a path that could only end in madness. Anders himself had been concerned about it, still was at times but Garrett did not believe that. It seemed he had finally found someone who shared his opinion.

" They had it rough in Kirkwall, having to hide, having to witness so much injustice in one place and being unable to do anything about it for the most part — it almost broke them. " He took a deep breath, feeling the weight of Kirkwall's walls on his shoulders just through the simple act of speaking of them. " But they are doing BETTER now. Just — maybe don't advertise the fact Anders isn't alone in here, " he gestured to his head, " to anyone else. I doubt other people would take that revelation as calmly as you did. " And part of him still expected her to get up once their conversation ceased and call upon whatever authority she could reach quickest to detain Anders and kill the abomination among them.

Trust was no longer something he had in abundance, not since that last troubled year in the city of chains.

" I have to admit all of this is quite a CHANGE to what I got used to over the last few years. I almost didn't believe Anders when he said he might know a place where we would still be welcome. I'm glad he was right. "

[onceawake]

Forget I said anything. Mair's lip curls, knowing full well her brother can't see it. ( it's for the better, that way ). Even here, having escaped Gamlen's miserable square shack, none of the Hawkes could quite seem to shake their last fucking blood relative. If he was still downstairs, Mair ought to go down and... and what? Give him an earful? Shout at him, too? What could she hurl at their uncle that he hasn't already heard or said to them first?

Not that he had ever understood.

"You always want to talk about it, Garrett! Maybe that's the problem! We can't fix everything by just smiling and saying something fucking nice!" Just like she cannot keep her back to him any longer, turning from the window and slumping against it, grief and rage mingling on her face. "It's always just words with you!"

And slowly, her legs give out from under her, sliding Mair to a seat on the cold stone floor, her back against the cold fucking stone wall, windowsill now above her head. She could no longer see the accursed fucking city that was ripping their family to shreds, but it was still present in every breath she took. Their home in Lothering had never been so cold or so hard.

She refuses to look at her twin.

"I never wanted to come here, Garrett." Maybe we should've stayed, and died in Lothering. With Father.

[sanguisana]

Of course, he was only making it worse. Why had he expected he'd be able to fix this or do anything productive when his track record had shown him the OPPOSITE tended to be true? Having his sister yell at him now only seemed to confirm his inability to fix shit. The more she said the more he sank into himself. The great Garrett Hawke, fighter and mage, trying his best to pretend he was invisible.

" I'm sorry ... " For what? Everything, really. After all, Mair was right, wasn't she? All he could do was talk. He didn't know how to do anything else and it had never solved a damn thing before so why would it help them now? And so he let SILENCE hang over them instead, wanting nothing more than to comfort his sister and yet being painfully aware of how inadequate anything he could possibly offer her was.

In the end all he could really do was try and sit down next to her, leaving enough space if she decided she did not want him anywhere near her, and tell her: " I didn't either, want to come here, I mean ... but we had no choice, we both know that. We have to try make the best of it. We have to try. "

[onceawake]

They had thought Anders lost for good when he had simply... vanished one day, leaving only Templar-Warden bodies behind. It had been an inciting incident for Sharrah to drive a further wedge against Weisshaupt for their decision-making. Vigil's Keep had been left largely autonomous to defend against the remnants of the Fifth Blight in Ferelden ten years ago. It would not bow to the body of Wardens that had not stepped to the front — such that they were after the massacre at Ostagar.

Yet their wayward mage-Warden had found his way back to them, in the company of a man who had begun to make waves of his own in Kirkwall. Even Warden duties could not keep Sharrah blind to the bare goings-ons outside Ferelden, nor could her distaste for dealing with politics and nobility.

A single brow arches at Garrett's nervous question. It was odd, seeing such a sturdy man suddenly look as if a stiff breeze may tip him off his bench and to the floor to shatter like a handful of clay. "He clashed often with— a spirit who inhabited a Warden's body, once. But Justice gave up Kristoff's body years ago." It was ancient history at this point, and the Keep had adjusted to being without Justice's odd observations and gruff interjections.

( had been without that very literal sense of justice that drove him to try to right things that had been set wrongly )

Yet her brow furrowed, drawing together odds and ends. Justice had taken the body to Aura within the same year as Anders' 'reassignment'. That did not, however, mean—

Sharrah waited for Garrett to elaborate.

[sanguisana]

Kristoff, yes, Anders had told him the story a while ago, the name and the tale behind it was familiar to him. He had not, however, revealed to him that the wardens had known the full truth about Kristoff's nature. To think they had welcomed a spirit into their midst ... perhaps all hope was not yet lost. " Ah, so they have been arguing for a WHILE, hm. I am not surprised to hear that. " Yes, indeed, it was only more confirmation of what he was already well familiar with. If anything it was a little relieving to know they had been at this for years and yet their bond remained intact, stronger than ever these days even.

Still, Sharrah's expectant silence made him nervous once more to talk about just how far their bond had gone. Accepting a spirit in the body of a dead man was one thing, accepting a spirit merging with a living person, a MAGE no less, a whole other. He feared ruining what little comfort they had left in this world.

" Justice is still at Anders' side, " he began, somewhat hesitantly. " No, perhaps that is disingenuous ... he is not at Anders' side as much as he is ... part of him now. Justice knew he could not dwell in this world in his state forever. When things escalated, Anders offered him a chance to REMAIN here and he took it. " He was trying everything he could not to utter the word abomination, hated the cruelty of it and felt like the bond Anders and Justice had was not well served being titled that way ( especially not when they were talking to non mages ). " They are at peace together, nothing like the horrors the chantry likes to tell us about. "

[astraldestiny]

okay yeah I'm gonna have to make this post a lot sooner than I wanted to because I just got the terrible news two of my uni courses didn't actually count towards my final grade so I am stressed and only going to be more stressed trying to sqeeze 12 ETC in my fucking master thesis is gonna kill me. so BIG ANNOUNEMENT:

I am not going to be consistently around until late June. I am going to be busy trying to finish my master. You may get me on d.iscord but I won't guarantee anything there either.

[sanguisana]

➝ @onceawake said: kill me quickly. / mair being dramatic no doubt

" No, no, you don't get out of this one so quickly. " Usually he would have her back on these matters without question, one, because he loved his sister of course and two, because he knew all the things she COULD reveal to their mother if she decided she had enough of his teasing at any given moment. This time, however, he simply found it too amusing to watch his twin stuck in a mess of her own making at least for a little while. She had made the mistake of bringing Fenris over while Leandra had been home as well and now their mother, as subtle as she tried to be about it, was bombarding her with questions. They had fled into the kitchen for now, under the guise that they were going to cook and did not need to be DISTURBED during this process. Garrett was in fact cutting potatoes for dinner at the moment, so it was only half a lie — still he was far more occupied with talking rather than cooking.

" You know, I think it will be fine actually. She'll get used to it. She's desperate enough at this point for ONE of us to settle down. " And while he knew their mother likely would not have chosen an elven mercenary for her daughter, it was better than the long, awkward silence Garrett gave her in response whenever she attempted to ask him about how his love life was developing. " I could be nice and bring Isabela over for dinner tomorrow. She'd love a free meal and doesn't mind being judged by mother. Or you know, being kind of used by me as an excuse to save you from being questioned all day. " Leandra would certainly have more to say about the possibility her son was dating a mouthy pirate ( she did not need to know how impossible that assumption was in reality ). " But I could also just keep watching this unfold a while longer. It is kind of funny. "

[mcflymemes]

PROMPTS FROM THE PRINCESS BRIDE *  assorted dialogue from the 1987 classic film, adjust as necessary

hello. my name is [name]. you killed my father. prepare to die.

give us the gate key.

as you wish.

who are you? are we enemies?

i've always been a quick healer.

good night. good work. sleep well. i'll most likely kill you in the morning.

get back, witch.

i'll try to stay awake.

it's not that bad.

you are wonderful.

i admit it, you are better than i am.

why are you smiling?

i've seen worse.

i told you i would always come for you. why didn't you wait for me?

death cannot stop true love. all it can do is delay it for a while.

i will never doubt again.

i could kill you now.

maybe you could come over and read it again to me tomorrow.

life is pain. anyone who says differently is selling someone.

you have a great gift for rhyme.

anybody want a peanut?

who are you?

get used to disappointment.

i don't suppose you could speed things up?

if you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.

i do not think you would accept my help, since i am only waiting around to kill you.

that does put a damper on our relationship.

i promise i will not kill you until you reach the top.

that's very comforting, but i'm afraid you'll just have to wait.

i hate waiting.

isn't there any way you trust me?

throw me the rope.

we'll never survive. we may as well die here.

we have already succeeded.

i don't think they exist.

you've done nothing but study swordplay?

there's not a lot of money in revenge.

i certainly hope you find him someday.

you seem a decent fellow. i hate to kill you.

where is the poison?

i am not a great fool.

you've made your decision then?

you're just stalling now.

you'd like to think that, wouldn't you?

you're trying to trick me into giving away something. it won't work.

i know where the poison is!

then make your choice.

i am no one to be trifled with.

kill me quickly.

i would sooner destroy a stained glass window than an artist like yourself.

you got any money?

are you a rotten liar!

your first story was better.

do you always begin conversations this way?

you mean you wish to surrender to me? very well. i accept.

i don't think i'm quite familiar with that phrase.

drop your sword.

tear his arms off.

we'll never survive.

nonsense. you're only saying that because no one ever has.

he didn't fall? inconcievable!

you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means.

i can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.

you're that smart?

let me put it this way. have you heard of plato, aristotle, socrates? morons.

why do you wear a mask?

were you burned by acid, or something like that?

i think everyone will be wearing them in the future.

you know, it's very strange.

i have been in the revenge business so long, now that it's over, i don't know what to do with the rest of my life.

you mock my pain.

[raviollies]

Another attempt at tarot, this time with Hawke

[onceawake]

"I don't see why not." Even discounting the views of a dalish upon mages, Sharrah had been inside the Circle tower only scarcely more than a year prior to meeting Anders. The nigh rabid behavior over retrieving him even after his conscription only further convinced her that it was the right choice.

And the Wardens had wanted a Warden presence in Ferelden once more. Shoved a still-young elven woman into a position of power despite all protests to the contrary. And it was the right of the most senior Warden to conscript as needed — Anders had saved lives with his magic, and Sharrah had not been willing to give him to the Templars. In the moment, that had seemed the best choice.

( remembers the trap laid later, for a Warden-mage who by rights no longer belonged to the Circle, remembers the arrowhead driven into the cracks of armor when a Templar got too close for a proper draw )

She relays none of this to Garrett. Instead, she locks eyes with the dark-haired apostate, as if daring him to call her a liar, as if waiting for an accusation that would hold no weight. Letting the warmth of the Keep's main hall wash over her. It was as close to home as she would see these days, as close to a clan as she was allowed.

"The chantry has no voice here." Sharrah's answer was swift. If the two of them needed shelter, then they would have shelter here. Anders was her friend, and anyone he held dearly was just as welcome to hide behind the walls of Vigil's Keep. And after a decade, it was true. Chantry sisters come and go as needed for services, with many of the soldiers that provided a standing force being Andrastian, as much of Ferelden, but Templars themselves had been barred from the grounds. "They have no ground with which to breach the gates."

It was an order she had held with force in the first few years, but easier than constantly fighting over the fact that Warden-mages were not beholden to the chantry any longer ( if at all they were before ).

[sanguisana]

" We uh ... we'd only put you at risk. " They were wanted men, more so than the average mage already was from birth. It would do them no good to burn the bridge to the last allies they had left in this world by overstaying their welcome and inviting TROUBLE to Vigil's Keep. Sure, Anders claimed the warden-commander had defended him from templars before but one could only endure so much before even those most deserving of protection became too much of a burden to bear and many would claim he and Anders were far from deserving any kind of help.

But where the woman met his eyes she met them with confidence, even warmth, something lacking in most of the people they interacted with these days. She seemed utterly sure of her words and his beloved had led them here for a reason ... maybe it could work after all. He did not dare truly HOPE yet, he had been burned too many times for that, but the spark of it was there. It made him dare enough to speak to his new friend with something much more vulnerable, suspicion cast out from his tone finally as he addressed her again: " Anders ... he is everything to me and he speaks so highly of you. We have not been able to trust anyone but each other in a long time. It ... it would be nice to be able to STAY somewhere for a while. "

And he knew his partner would agree, would be thrilled even to remain with old friends, to find solace in something familiar at last and to be granted to BREATHE finally. There was however, one last thing he felt the need to touch upon before he could relax inside these halls. A topic he feared they would not be able to avoid and that he was concerned would ruin what trust they had gained here. " Has he ... spoken about his — friendship to a spirit before? I would uh ... hate for that to be an unpleasant surprise given how feared such connections tend to be. "

[onceawake]

"What does Gamlen have to do with this?" She spits the name of their uncle like a curse, like she wished death had touched him instead of picking at their dwindling family once more. Somewhere downstairs stood a man who had ruined his own fortune and sold them into a year's work. Somewhere downstairs was a man she wished would have never come about the home that the twins had scraped together and bought ( with the blood of their younger siblings staining their hands, with the memory of Bethany who would never see this place, with the aching specter of Carver and their mother's disbelief that he still lived ).

Still she doesn't turn to face her brother, knows the sad mabari-eyes he'd turn upon her, too. Fixes her gaze upon some far away point in the city, fingers digging into the brick until they ached.

There's a fleeting fantasy in the back of her mind. Demanding some creature of the Fade to steal away her magic, to bury it in the same Blight that stole Bethany away. Mair knows better than to entertain it seriously — and besides, Tranquility was the real answer to that, and she still... despite all her magic... still loves being a person too much for that.

( all of that grief-rage belongs to a seventeen year old Hawke sitting somewhere, biting her lip to avoid howling about the magic that had burst free unbidden, a wound that would never close, a girl who had taken a fatal blow that day because now she had to hide part of who she was from the rest of the world. hide like her twin. hide like her little sister. )

"What do you want me to say, Garrett? That I'm going to kick down the door of the Circle? Maybe kill the guard with my own bare hands because none of them stopped this before it could happen? I'm fine." Nothing could change this.

[sanguisana]

Yes, what did Gamlen have to do with this, hm? It seemed he had not unleashed the same horrific speech on Mair than he had on him. Perhaps he ought to not mention him at all then. What use would there be in discussing something that was rendered pointless from the start? " Ah ... nothing, forget I said anything. " Just like he was sure Gamlen would soon forget he had insinuated that it might be for the best if all mages were locked up for good. Including his own NEPHEW. In a week it would all be fine again, right? All forgotten and everything would be the same again. Except Garrett feared he would not be able to forget this time. Gamlen's words had stung, more than anything else the man had ever thrown at him before. He had hoped at least his own family would understand the struggles he endured as a mage, only to be denied such understanding in the most horrible way possible. But that was not what this was about. It was not about him ( it never was ).

" I don't know okay?! I don't know what I want you to say. Maybe I want you to admit you're not fine for once so we can talk about it! " He threw his hands up in frustration, unable to even figure out where this conversation was to go anymore. It all felt so POINTLESS, anything in Kirkwall had started to feel pointless. There was only misery, no break from it, no recovery. Their family was dying and breaking apart, there was seemingly nothing they could do about it except endure it.

What the fuck were they supposed to do at this point?

He sat down, shoulders sagging with nothing but painful uncertainty. How much longer could they endure this city? " Maybe we should just try and LEAVE. Go back to Ferelden and figure something out there. " It was only a dream of course, one he would be hard pressed to actually attempt to reach but it was the first time since their arrival that he had openly admitted how homesick he was.

[saintdri]

Please don’t leave Hawke in the Fade

[sanguisana]

➝ @onceawake said: ❛ You can't squeeze blood out of turnip, you know. ❜ / arrai vc,

" I — sorry what? " He was so perplexed trying to figure out what his companion had just said to him that he stopped working on the stubborn lock in front of him ( should have asked Varric to tag along ... or Isabela. Either of them would have made quick work of this ). He reluctantly got up from where he had been crouched on the floor, hands on his hips and glaring at the lock as if just looking at it annoyed and frustrated would SOLVE his issues with it. " I could try and just smash it. Wouldn't be very inconspicuous though. " But he was kind of running out of better ideas.

They had to get inside to check up on the rumours that someone had uncovered a route allegedly used by escaped mages ( he had tried to ask Anders about it just to get an inconclusive answer. Either he did not know about it either or he was avoiding saying anything to try and protect the route any way he could and he had been unable to convince him that he was doing whatever he could to help ). All he wanted to do was clear out any possible Templars snooping around. Maybe point any apostates in the right direction out of here. But for that he'd have to actually GET inside! " You think you could do a better job at this damn lock than me? Please say yes. "

[illlitprompts]

❛ 𝔗𝔥𝔢 𝔏𝔞𝔰𝔱 𝔘𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔬𝔯𝔫 ❜ 𝔟𝔶 𝔓𝔢𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔖. 𝔅𝔢𝔞𝔤𝔩𝔢 ▪▪▪ 𝔖𝔱𝔞𝔯𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔰. 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 𝕺𝖓𝖊.

❛ Who knows? Times change. ❜ ❛ What if they are hiding and waiting for me? ❜ ❛ Even if it were true, I would not go. ❜ ❛ My foot must have slipped. ❜ ❛ Oh, you're beautiful. ❜ ❛ I don't think you know yourself. ❜ ❛ Is that what you take me for? ❜ ❛ Your name is a golden bell hung in my heart. ❜ ❛ It's too cold for you to be out. ❜ ❛ I said that I would come back soon. ❜ ❛ Hurry, it will be day soon. ❜ ❛ Tell me what you see. ❜ ❛ You won't have heard of me. ❜ ❛ This is not the end. ❜ ❛ Do nothing till you hear from me! ❜ ❛ She doesn't look like much, does she? ❜ ❛ I enjoyed that, I always do. ❜ ❛ I had you frightened for a little while, didn't I? ❜ ❛ You should be grateful for that ❜ ❛ You belong to me. ❜ ❛ I couldn't get away any sooner. ❜ ❛ You never would wonder about that. ❜ ❛ It's a rare man who is taken for what he truly is ❜ ❛ There is much misjudgement in the world. ❜ ❛ I think you are my friend, will you help me? ❜ ❛ You are my last chance. ❜ ❛ Shall I try once more? ❜ ❛ I knew it would come to this. ❜ ❛ Where will you go now? ❜ ❛ Take me with you. ❜ ❛ Let's get the business over with. ❜ ❛ You can't squeeze blood out of turnip, you know. ❜ ❛ I am older than I look, and less amiable. ❜ ❛ Will they come back, do you think? ❜ ❛ Damn you, where have you been? ❜ ❛ And what good is it to me that you're here now? ❜ ❛Why not save yourself the trouble, if you know better? ❜ ❛ Well, you never know, I could be wrong. ❜ ❛ The sea is greater than anyone’s greed. ❜ ❛ Save your breath, stranger, while you have it. ❜ ❛ Then it would seem to me that you have no worries. ❜ ❛ What is it you wish of me? ❜ ❛You have all the power you need, if you dare to look for it. ❜ ❛ What have you done? ❜ ❛ What do you mean, what have I done? ❜ ❛ What have you done to me? ❜ ❛ It’s alright, don’t be afraid. ❜ ❛ You are losing my interest, and that is very dangerous. ❜ ❛ I will keep nothing near me that does not make me happy. ❜ ❛ What is it? What do you see? ❜ ❛ What can I do for you? Let me help you. ❜ ❛ There is no other way, and no time to spare. ❜ ❛ What in the world is there to keep you here? ❜ ❛ Don’t be stupid. ❜ ❛ I would not waste time in foolishness if I were you. ❜ ❛ Damn you, why won't you help me? ❜ ❛ Why must you always speak in riddles? ❜ ❛ I can’t do it. Not much more… ❜ ❛ I didn’t mean it like that. ❜

[5queerducksinatrenchcoat]

mage hawke something something fenris's "what has magic touched that it hasn't spoiled?" something something malcolm's "i hope it takes after you, love. i would wish this magic on no one."

[sapphling]

can i stick my tongue in your guilt complex