sans

heya it's me, sans. ask me things. or don't.

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

[brainstatic]

Just a heads up right now: on the day when Trump dies, I’m going to be extremely tasteless about it. It’s going to get ugly. You are going to see a side of me I am not proud of. I don’t want any call-outs in my inbox, I’m stating right now that lines will be crossed.

[stoned-dahmer-deactivated201802]

How disgusting can someone be

I wouldn’t even say this about my worst enemy

Forget the fact that its trump. If you agree with this youre fucking evil. Evil literally lives inside you. Wow.

[a-really-bad-decision]

Anyways all of y’all AND the evil that literally lives inside of you are invited to the sick ass house party I’m throwing when lord dampnut kicks the bucket

[dracofidus-deactivated20200523]

I feel like all you Americans need to take a look at what happened here in the UK after Maggie Thatcher died. Because when it comes to tasteless celebrations fuelled by anger and the death of a hated political leader, we REALLY pushed the boat out. We had street parties. We had burning effigies. We pushed “Ding Dong the Witch is Dead” to the top of the charts out of sheer hatred. Bone up kiddos, and I really hope you manage to do that truly American thing, of dramatically outdoing us with your celebrations.

[truth-has-a-liberal-bias]

Reblogging for last comment.

[eyesofatragedy67]

With the way this year is going, the sooner it happens the better.

[hazeldomain]

*this can be reblogged every year

[systlin]

I’m going to make cake. There’s going to be fireworks. There WILL be a burnt effigy.

[jackdaw-kraai]

Look, I’m gonna level with you americans for a second. When old wrinkly and orange kicks the bucket, for once in my life, possibly the only time, I’ll actually want to be able to see the fireworks from across the Atlantic. And I daresay I won’t be the only one. So listen to me and listen closely, cause I’ll only say it once: When the moldy Cheeto bites it, it’s the one and only chance you’ll likely have at being loudly, unbearably, obnoxiously American in your celebration and for once, the rest of the world won’t complain. 

[blondejaneblonde]

…I know I just reblogged this, but that last comment 👌👨🏻‍🍳

[finnglas]

Listen I’m already designing the cake I’m gonna order from Publix.

[caitlynlynch]

I want to see the fireworks from AUSTRALIA, guys. Make it happen.

[prismatic-bell]

In Judaism, we consider every death a tragedy.

This one will be a tragedy because it didn’t happen sooner, and so many others occurred as a result.

I will be SO tasteless. I will find pastels SOMEWHERE in my wardrobe and drape myself in trans pride flag colors. I will make flatbread and kebabs and learn how to make labneh for dinner and serve it with flan for dessert and celebrate the Middle Eastern and Mexican cultures he wanted to bash so badly. (Okay, I’ll be honest. The kebabs might not be authentic. I might make them barbecue because I learned to make barbecue sauce from a Black American and he hates both Black people and America so it might be a kind of fusion thing.) I will make a donation to the POW/MIA Project even if I have to pull the money from savings, because he had problems with charity and veterans both.

Not only will I celebrate the death of someone who caused so much harm and wished to cause more, I will do it by celebrating the people and cultures he wanted to destroy.

And I will do it all while blasting Highway to Hell.

[katjohnadams]

Trump is gonna die one day and we’re gonna have so many crabs. I am gonna order crabs at a restaurant just for fun. I cant wait to make that man’s death a yearly fuckin holiday

[starleska]

Kris cannot catch a fucking break can they 😂😂

[himynameisemail]

[effemimaniac]

does anyone else see a sports field on a cold night in the texture of the hair

[blue-knuckles]

why is this the first thing i see

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

lol.

[himynameisemail]

[effemimaniac]

does anyone else see a sports field on a cold night in the texture of the hair

[shadow27]

[witchofprose-deactivated2020041]

This is the FUNNIEST SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN

[untitled12573]

Reblogging for cultural enrichment

[lab-gr0wn-lambs]

bout time I brought back the Laurel and Hardy flex tape-

[knitmeapony]

From The Killers, 1946. A Film Noir Classic

[theprofessional-amateur]

I’m an archivist, behold my growing collection was of old photos mirroring timeless memes I’ve come across at various places I’ve worked.

[askgasterandacquaintances]

hometown is in oregon usa. source: made it up

also what is your opinion on australian people

ACTUALLY

IT'S IN NEW JERSEY

I LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I LIKE ANY OTHER PEOPLE.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ I could’ve sworn it was in new england.. }

{ See, this is what I meant about it being hard to chart the multiverse. there’s all these changes happening all the goddamn time so a map that’s up-to-date and accurate one minute won’t be the next. }

[askgasterandacquaintances]

I OFFERED MY MACHINE TO YOU.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ The brothers have been.. less than cooperative about that.. Sans mainly thinks my rambling about the multiverse is “concerning” and that I “shouldn’t know that much, nobody should,” and Papyrus is following his older brother’s example of not trusting me.. }

{ I suppose I could land my TARDIS in the back room and attempt to fix it myself, but Sans seems to check there fairly frequently.. must be a sentimental sap like me. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, no i didn't???

you never even came to my house?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ ..Hang on, is this V2120-A or V2120-T? }

{ I might be in the wrong timeline entirely.. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, this is v2120-b.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ Ah.. ..bugger. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

if you came over and told me ya knew g, i'd let ya see it.

c'mon, i know a shortcut to my place.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ Alright then.. }

{ ..Say, about those shortcuts- }

(Eli starts rambling again..)

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

well what about em?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ They seem to be more akin to folding space-time in half than, say, cutting through an alleyway.. }

{ What I mean to ask is; Are you just casually teleporting? }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uhhhh.... how do i explain this...

oh.

i got it.

so imagine the ocean. the ocean is space.

when i use a shortcut, i'm parting a hole in the ocean, big enough for me (or anyone else i wanna take) to fit through.

and when i'm on the other side, just like the ocean, it'll settle back into place, like i was never there.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ So it is teleportation.. very, very interesting.. }

{That’s sort of how TARDIS flight works, poke a hole in space-time, go through, close it up from the other side, find the spot you want to land and do the first three steps in reverse.. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

huh.

neat.

yeah i can just sorta do that on my own, y'know, without a machine.

[askgasterandacquaintances]

hometown is in oregon usa. source: made it up

also what is your opinion on australian people

ACTUALLY

IT'S IN NEW JERSEY

I LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I LIKE ANY OTHER PEOPLE.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ I could’ve sworn it was in new england.. }

{ See, this is what I meant about it being hard to chart the multiverse. there’s all these changes happening all the goddamn time so a map that’s up-to-date and accurate one minute won’t be the next. }

[askgasterandacquaintances]

I OFFERED MY MACHINE TO YOU.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ The brothers have been.. less than cooperative about that.. Sans mainly thinks my rambling about the multiverse is “concerning” and that I “shouldn’t know that much, nobody should,” and Papyrus is following his older brother’s example of not trusting me.. }

{ I suppose I could land my TARDIS in the back room and attempt to fix it myself, but Sans seems to check there fairly frequently.. must be a sentimental sap like me. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, no i didn't???

you never even came to my house?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ ..Hang on, is this V2120-A or V2120-T? }

{ I might be in the wrong timeline entirely.. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, this is v2120-b.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ Ah.. ..bugger. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

if you came over and told me ya knew g, i'd let ya see it.

c'mon, i know a shortcut to my place.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ Alright then.. }

{ ..Say, about those shortcuts- }

(Eli starts rambling again..)

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

well what about em?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ They seem to be more akin to folding space-time in half than, say, cutting through an alleyway.. }

{ What I mean to ask is; Are you just casually teleporting? }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uhhhh.... how do i explain this...

oh.

i got it.

so imagine the ocean. the ocean is space.

when i use a shortcut, i'm parting a hole in the ocean, big enough for me (or anyone else i wanna take) to fit through.

and when i'm on the other side, just like the ocean, it'll settle back into place, like i was never there.

[askgasterandacquaintances]

hometown is in oregon usa. source: made it up

also what is your opinion on australian people

ACTUALLY

IT'S IN NEW JERSEY

I LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I LIKE ANY OTHER PEOPLE.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ I could’ve sworn it was in new england.. }

{ See, this is what I meant about it being hard to chart the multiverse. there’s all these changes happening all the goddamn time so a map that’s up-to-date and accurate one minute won’t be the next. }

[askgasterandacquaintances]

I OFFERED MY MACHINE TO YOU.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ The brothers have been.. less than cooperative about that.. Sans mainly thinks my rambling about the multiverse is “concerning” and that I “shouldn’t know that much, nobody should,” and Papyrus is following his older brother’s example of not trusting me.. }

{ I suppose I could land my TARDIS in the back room and attempt to fix it myself, but Sans seems to check there fairly frequently.. must be a sentimental sap like me. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, no i didn't???

you never even came to my house?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ ..Hang on, is this V2120-A or V2120-T? }

{ I might be in the wrong timeline entirely.. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, this is v2120-b.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ Ah.. ..bugger. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

if you came over and told me ya knew g, i'd let ya see it.

c'mon, i know a shortcut to my place.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ Alright then.. }

{ ..Say, about those shortcuts- }

(Eli starts rambling again..)

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

well what about em?

[askgasterandacquaintances]

hometown is in oregon usa. source: made it up

also what is your opinion on australian people

ACTUALLY

IT'S IN NEW JERSEY

I LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I LIKE ANY OTHER PEOPLE.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ I could’ve sworn it was in new england.. }

{ See, this is what I meant about it being hard to chart the multiverse. there’s all these changes happening all the goddamn time so a map that’s up-to-date and accurate one minute won’t be the next. }

[askgasterandacquaintances]

I OFFERED MY MACHINE TO YOU.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ The brothers have been.. less than cooperative about that.. Sans mainly thinks my rambling about the multiverse is “concerning” and that I “shouldn’t know that much, nobody should,” and Papyrus is following his older brother’s example of not trusting me.. }

{ I suppose I could land my TARDIS in the back room and attempt to fix it myself, but Sans seems to check there fairly frequently.. must be a sentimental sap like me. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, no i didn't???

you never even came to my house?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ ..Hang on, is this V2120-A or V2120-T? }

{ I might be in the wrong timeline entirely.. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, this is v2120-b.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ Ah.. ..bugger. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

if you came over and told me ya knew g, i'd let ya see it.

c'mon, i know a shortcut to my place.

[askgasterandacquaintances]

hometown is in oregon usa. source: made it up

also what is your opinion on australian people

ACTUALLY

IT'S IN NEW JERSEY

I LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I LIKE ANY OTHER PEOPLE.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ I could’ve sworn it was in new england.. }

{ See, this is what I meant about it being hard to chart the multiverse. there’s all these changes happening all the goddamn time so a map that’s up-to-date and accurate one minute won’t be the next. }

[askgasterandacquaintances]

I OFFERED MY MACHINE TO YOU.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ The brothers have been.. less than cooperative about that.. Sans mainly thinks my rambling about the multiverse is “concerning” and that I “shouldn’t know that much, nobody should,” and Papyrus is following his older brother’s example of not trusting me.. }

{ I suppose I could land my TARDIS in the back room and attempt to fix it myself, but Sans seems to check there fairly frequently.. must be a sentimental sap like me. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, no i didn't???

you never even came to my house?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ ..Hang on, is this V2120-A or V2120-T? }

{ I might be in the wrong timeline entirely.. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, this is v2120-b.

[askgasterandacquaintances]

hometown is in oregon usa. source: made it up

also what is your opinion on australian people

ACTUALLY

IT'S IN NEW JERSEY

I LIKE THEM AS MUCH AS I LIKE ANY OTHER PEOPLE.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ I could’ve sworn it was in new england.. }

{ See, this is what I meant about it being hard to chart the multiverse. there’s all these changes happening all the goddamn time so a map that’s up-to-date and accurate one minute won’t be the next. }

[askgasterandacquaintances]

I OFFERED MY MACHINE TO YOU.

[aperture-hr-official]

{ The brothers have been.. less than cooperative about that.. Sans mainly thinks my rambling about the multiverse is “concerning” and that I “shouldn’t know that much, nobody should,” and Papyrus is following his older brother’s example of not trusting me.. }

{ I suppose I could land my TARDIS in the back room and attempt to fix it myself, but Sans seems to check there fairly frequently.. must be a sentimental sap like me. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

uh, no i didn't???

you never even came to my house?

[kris-dreemurr-offical]

WHY IS EVERYONE TRYING TO FUCK MY PARENTS

[aperture-hr-official]

{ I’m not. }

{ ..At the moment. }

[kris-dreemurr-offical]

What do you mean at the moment?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ ..Y’know who Jack Harkness is? }

[kris-dreemurr-offical]

Uhh... No?

[aperture-hr-official]

{ Right, Jack’s an old friend of mine, he is notorious for taking “a hole’s a goal” to heart at nearly every opportunity he gets, sleeping around the universe. }

{ I also do that to (sort of) a lesser extent, though since I’m not confined to only one universe it could be said I do it to a much larger extent than him. I do it a lot less on average than he does, though. }

{ Anyway the big idea is that I, unlike a certain skeleton have, in fact slept with [a variant of] your mother before. }

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

what do you mean "unlike"?

you know i took tori to the "bone zone"

hehehehehe.

also no hard feelings, kid.

[vilestvillaincontest]

Vilest Villain Contest! Round 1! Part 36!

S!3v3n (Pokémon: Strangled Red)

sans (Undertale/Deltarune)

Heket (Cult of the Lamb)

Remaining time: 10 hours 26 minutes

S!3v3n/Steven art by Bibitou on Newgrounds

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

dawg i ain't even a villain.

[vilestvillaincontest]

Sorry Sans, my best guess is Kris was still sore about the mother befriending.

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

yeah that tracks.

[diamantefangs]

[xeansicemane]

This is kinda ominous ngl

[vexwerewolf]

Gotta compliment him on his reflexes. No hesitation. Just described exactly what he was seeing, regardless of what it was.

[wherefore-whinnies]

[VD: A weatherman is giving a report and pointing to a map, saying "feel like temperatures really take a tumble too, because after the storm-" before he is interrupted by the screen going black and then displaying a picture of some baby spinach. He says, "um," then immediately points to the screen and confidently announces, "this is baby spinach." /End VD]

[renthony]

I see so many arguments over what is and isn't "good queer representation" that really just boil down to "y'all are actually arguing over matters of taste and genre preference, which is incredibly subjective and personal."

Worldbuilding where being queer is normalized and queerphobia has no impact on the plot? THAT'S FINE. Worldbuilding that includes queerphobia and tackles the effects of it as part of the story? THAT'S ALSO FINE.

Low-stakes queer romcom where the characters are fluffy and cute? THAT'S COOL. Messy queer drama with toxic people who fuck each other over and clash repeatedly? THAT'S ALSO COOL.

Stories that center the characters' queerness, show a trans character's transition, and are about the queerness as much as the rest of the plot? AWESOME. Stories where the characters' queerness isn't treated as a big deal, and have trans characters whose transition happened before the story entirely? ALSO AWESOME.

You may PREFER one thing or another, but it is actually good to have all these things. It's about variety. It's about queer characters being allowed to exist without censorship. It's about queer artists getting to make things without being told we're a "niche issue" or "adult content." It's about having as many goddamn cakes as the bakery can produce.

At the end of the day, I'd prefer a media landscape with fifty pieces of problematic queer representation over a media landscape with one single piece of queer representation that's trying (and usually failing) to be 100% perfect for everything and everyone.

[vilestvillaincontest]

Vilest Villain Contest! Round 1! Part 36!

S!3v3n (Pokémon: Strangled Red)

sans (Undertale/Deltarune)

Heket (Cult of the Lamb)

Remaining time: 10 hours 26 minutes

S!3v3n/Steven art by Bibitou on Newgrounds

[sans-sanstheskeleton]

dawg i ain't even a villain.