Santiana's Corner O' Shit

Yo. I don't know why you're here, but I appreciate you being here.

[dnd-homebrew5e]

What do you tend to come up with first when building a new D&D character?

A name

Backstory

Personality

Appearance/Race

Theme

Mechanics/Class

Stats

Other (reply or reblog w/ your answer)

Voting ended onMar 19, 2023

[santiana86]

Usually one of these just appears, then the rest kinda falls into place. I dont control it it just appears like a prophet receives visions from an angry god, but this time its about a kobold with a gun

[comicaurora]

What Are Your Opinions On Harry Potter's Magic System

"system" is a strong word for that situation

[comicaurora]

The Harry Potter universe screwed itself right out the gate by combining the softest of soft magic systems with setting the entire thing in a school for teaching the protagonist how magic worked, and rather than having to establish hard rules on a soft magic system so it could let the magic school do its job, it split the difference by making Harry such a terrible student that neither he nor the audience ever learns anything about how magic actually works. Hermione does his homework for him. He cheats off Snape’s old textbook. He starts and ends the series with the same spell because it’s poetic and also because to do anything else would’ve required letting him actually learn or grow.

We are given single disconnected data points that smack of hard magic systems - individual magic words with static, concrete consequences and limitations, Accio not working on living creatures, etc - and the implication that, elsewhere in the universe, smarter people than Harry are capable of developing new spells. This implies that there is a system of rules at play here. Mispronouncing a spell or changing the associated wand movement can cause it to have a different effect, meaning the words have power on their own. Is there a language of magic? Well, yes, and it’s Latin, but like - is there a reason these sounds produce these effects? In other systems magic is the language of dragons, or the true names of the souls of the elements and creatures of the world. No such explanation is given here. Spells misfire or are miscast by incompetent wizards or broken wands, resulting in intriguing consequences outside the typical spell parameters, implying an intriguing fluidity to magic that is belied by literally everything we’re officially shown or told. Before going to hogwarts, Harry causes inexplicable phenomena (vanishing glass, uncuttable hair, the world generally warping in small ways to help him out) that is heavily implied to be the result of his magic because what else could it be, but after going to Hogwarts we never see this sort of wild magic again, which is a shame, because it seems like it could’ve been useful.

The magic system of Harry Potter is “if the plot needs a spell, artifact, potion, creature or magical doohicky to exist, it does, and if the plot needs it to NOT exist, it does not.” This is not a magic system because its rules are entirely Doylist, and any possible Watsonian rule systems are purposefully obfuscated to avoid the dreaded Worldbuilding More Than The Surface. One book needs time travel, so now there’s time magic. Later books can’t have time travel, so all the time magic is destroyed. All of it. One book needs luck magic so Harry can waltz through five layers of plot difficulty at once, and this game-breaker is never brought up before or after. Potion-brewing is discussed, but how were all these spells and artifacts created in the first place? Who laid down these restrictive rules on what they can and can’t do? Why can’t our heroes or their teachers make new ones that are more useful? None of these questions can be answered because to do so would require worldbuilding any internal rules, which this story does only when the plot needs those rules to exist.

The magical worldbuilding in Harry Potter is almost literally paper thin. It exists only to produce a surface aesthetic. If you ask a single question about how and why it functions the way it does, you punch through that paper-thin layer and see the needs of the plot laid bare behind it. This is not inherently bad. There are plenty of soft-logic stories that fully commit to the bit. The problem is that Harry Potter is a soft magic system with pretensions of hard-system grandeur. Instead of just owning up to the fact that magic is fickle and does what the plot needs, it seems to say “there ARE rules, and everybody else in the world knows them, but you, the audience surrogate outsider to the system, will never be told what they are.” And Harry is such an incurious, agencyless lump in his own narrative that he never tries to learn or improve. He has no desire to learn how his own magic system works, treating homework as an obligation to fob off on his smart friend while he dicks around playing quidditch and coasting on his magical trust fund. This handily saves the story from ever having to build the hard magic system it insists exists, and instead lets it populate the world with magical creatures and artifacts and potions and an implied population of very interesting, very smart people dealing with how all that stuff actually works while we hang out in Harry’s back pocket watching him complain that his magical school has the audacity to try and make him learn magic.

Blue has also directed me to a relevant clip where Brennan Lee Mulligan and Matthew Mercer discuss this very question. The internal logic of the Harry Potter universe is nonexistant. That’s not inherently a bad thing for a magical setting, but in this case I’m willing to be mean about it. I’ll put up with a lot from a story as long as it commits to the bit, but when the story and author try and convince the audience that the hard complicated worldbuilding is totally actually there and even was there all along, despite all observable evidence, that just makes the whole thing seem insecure and embarrassing. I’m not mad that Harry Potter’s magic system makes no sense, I’m just mad it keeps lying to me about it.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Today's Adventure is that I, after an unintentional 13-hour power nap,

Got woken up at 6AM by a phone call from a friend stranded in Montana because of the heat wave and almost no cell service because of their crap provider.

OhSoThat'sHowIt'sGonnaBe.jpg

Ok.

I somehow summon a week's worth of spoons and in less than 30 minutes and 5 phone calls, get them

A hotel

An appointment with a mechanic from 2 states away

A perscription refilled from 2 states away

and A Pizza

Go me.

But then it's 8AM and there are unscheduled live humans at the door and while EVERGENCY MODE is still on, I have already blown through a ton of spoons, and also probably shouldn't meet whoever it is wearing just a pair of bootyshorts that say "CRYPTID" in Gothic Font on my ass.

So I greet them in those shorts and a T-shirt that I manage to put on both inside out and backwards

#nailedit

It is, Fortunately, not the mormons.

it is, Unfortunately, two UPS guys trying to deliver my other in-house friend's new phone except the new guy doesn't know how to operate the "sign for package" device, and the old guy that's supposed to be mentoring him is like, 92, deaf as a post, and doesn't actually know how to operate the device either.

by the way

it is already

over 100 out

it takes almost 30 minutes to sign for the phone

when i get back inside, i discover that apparently the Corgi has learned how to open his kennel from the inside because he is now out of the kennel and waiting for me to come in.

he also has cat litter all over his face because while he was waiting for me he also learned how to open the baby gate to the cat's room and help himself to a cat shit breakfast.

He'll be fine

He's a cattle dog, they're legally required to have at least 1 really disgusting snack they love.

but

more to the point

i have no idea at what point he learned to open his kennel from the inside

has he been staying there out of politeness this whole time??

And

I got other shit to do today.

namely.

I'm seeing a realator

The Devils most pathetic yet effective demons

I get a reminder text that I have an appointment with her

at least

I think that's what it is because what she sends me is: "🏡⏰12:00 ❔"

With the time typed in the middle like that.

She is, according to her profile, at least 80.

so I reply "😎👍"

and then she sends me a string of GODDAMN POST-MODERN EMOJI HEIROGLYPHICS THAT TAKE UP MY ENTIRE SCREEN.

She's on an iPhone so half of them don't even translate across platforms

It takes me half an hour and three different software programs and goddamn wingdings to translate, but she has sent me the address and rules about masking and not wearing shoes inside.

in emoji

instead of like

literally any other format

I am

FASCINATED

and simply must meet the woman so if I don't come back to update I got stolen by the fairies but I'm taking the Corgi with me as protection so I'll see y'all later.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Update:

It's not fairies

It's Doris.

might be about to get a sewing machine and/or start an ACAB riot.

[gallusrostromegalus]

Ok, so:

I'm going to see a prospective house because due to various circumstances, I'm probably going to be moving to the other side of a major metropolitan area in the next few months, but that's not important.

I get to the house

I get a text from the realtor

The realtor is not the person who has been texting me in emoji

The person texting me in emoji is the homeowner, who the realtor says will let me in if I want, she's running late.

Sure

Why not

I put Herschel on leash and go to the front door

As much crime as he commits at home Herschel The Hanukkah Goblin has terrific public manners, and is Very Cute so I'm about 90% sure the emoji fairy is going to let me take him through the house

Door opens.

90-something blue haired old lady with a spine like a question mark and glasses that could be used as telescope lenses opens the door.

"OH [Gallus]! How lovely to see you!"

This woman clearly knows me because she remembers my anniversary was last week and that my sister is back from Australia.

Problem is

I know about 500 geriatric ladies with blue hair, scoliosis and extreme prescription glasses, because I am a member of 2 quilt guilds, the scientific illustration guild, the rocky mountain SCA and stagehand for three different theater companies, so I know everyone's grandma and fuck me if I can tell them apart.

Wait

There's a quilt in thekitchen, visible front hall

I don't know faces but apparently I can recognize applique techniques at 40paces.

"...Doris? From SAQA?"

"YES! Who is this handsome little man?"

Herschel speaks enough English to know that "handsome little man" means "this person will feed me milk bones and bacon if I'm cute enough"

Immediately does a Sit Pretty and Shake.

Doris is bewitched

This is fine, but I also know I'm about to severely disappoint the realtor because there is no way in hell I'm moving into this House.

Because

The reason Doris is moving out is that her neighbor is a Cunt Magnifique and has been harassing Doris and everyone else to form an HOA and "improve the quality of our residents" because this woman has nothing better to do than be a racist-ass busy body, and recently, she's set her husband, a county sheriff on Doris, trying to bully her into signing paperwork and threatening her with legal action and writing her up for bullshit property violations

Ain't putting up with that shit

And neither is Doris, so she's selling all her shit and moving out to live with her grandchildren in Santa Monica.

But she's technologically impaired, so the only indication that there is an estate sale happening is a small paper sign in her front yard.

"Doris." I say, as Herschel makes himself comfortable on the couch for belly rubs and pieces of ham. "Did you tell SAQA or FRCC or anyone on Facebook that you're having the sale?"

"oh, I don't know how to do all that!" She sighs. "I tried to call the Denver post but they just put me on hold for ages..."

"Watch Herschel for 20 minutes and he's only allowed to have that one piece of ham."

Pics of everything

Address, time and pics to Facebook, both quilt guilds she's in, two more I have contacts for, nextdoor, and the local SCA discord for good measure.

It's 12 minutes and Herschel persuaded her to give him at least three pieces of ham.

He is petitioning for a fourth by doing a little puppy dance on the living room rug.

"OK, that's enough ham, people will be here in 10. Where is your cash box?"

Because apparently I'm running an estate sale today too.

It's fine :)

There's about 7 minutes of quiet.

Then

They DESCEND

The first on the scene is DeeDee, who doesn't believe in speed limits. She's arrived with a horse trailer. I remember that she is also moving.

"HI DORIS SWEETHEART WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL I HAD NO IDEA THIS WAS TODAY I WAS GOING TO TAKE ALL THIS TO THE GOODWILL HERE LET ME SET UP ON YOUR LAWN "

DeeDee is 73, and has a special spiritual bond with Hello Kitty. She weighs like 98lbs, dresses exclusively in neon pink sanrio clothes and the kind of eye makeup drag queens aspire to.

She also speaks non-stop at a volume normally associated with jet engines.

Half the horse trailer is already spread out on the lawn.

Doris is putting price stickers on stuff

Herschel is trying to tear open a bag of cotton batting.

This, and the arrival of approximately 56 minivans, five more trucks with horse trailers and Corgi Excitement Screaming alert Cunt Magnifique that something is happening outside.

Madame saunters off her porch up to Doris and Demands to know what's happening, you're supposed to notify the neighborhood and get a permit to-"

Doris, surrounded by her pack of silver wolves, shouts. "OH HELLO! EVERYONE, THIS IS MARCIA. I'VE TOLD YOU ALL ABOUT MARCIA." >:)c

... further details in a bit I think the Vikings are here.

[gallusrostromegalus]

~`* SOMEONE'S GETTING FIRED!!*`~

[gallusrostromegalus]

OK so.

You know those high school house parties you see in movies, where the person invites only a few friends, but those friends call their friends, and those friends call THEIR friends and soon like 500 people show up to one house and someone calls the cops and that one John Mulaney sketch with "SCATTER!" happens?

Old people will 100% do this too, except instead of a house party it's an estate sale on a wednesday afternoon and when the cop shows up there are lawyers present and he is in DEEP SHIT because his wife just spent the afternoon admitting to doing a bunch of wildly illegal shit on tape.

So when we left off, the party had really started getting underway, because Marcia the Cunt Magnifique had decided to crash the estate sale and whine about "we're supposed to coordinate garage sales as a neighborhood" and "your friends are blocking traffic on this cul-de-sac while nobody is home" weh weh-

DeeDee is about ready to throw hands but she is nowhere near the most dangerous of the Silver Silver Wolves.

That's Dr. Ruth.

Dr. Ruth turned 99 this year and went paragliding for her birthday

So you understand just how hard she goes

Dr. Ruth sort of hobbles over and point-blank asks "So I understand you've been trying to start a homeowner's association?" :3c

Marcia

Entirely misunderstanding how much danger she's in

Starts enumerating the TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS of trying to start one, because SOME PEOPLE DON'T RESPECT AUTHORITY and all the paperwork and talking to people and she even had to ask HER HUSBAND. A SHERRIF. To go around and hand people stuff to sign.

Some people, right?

Dr. Ruth nods. Some people. She agrees.

You know.

Her son is a lawyer.

Why doesn't she give him a call?

Marcia, a Moron: Oh that'd be great!

Dr. Ruth, hobbling back to Doris: "Don't worry. David will handle this."

Meanwhile

The Friends-Of-Friends and the Friends-Of-Friends-Of-Friends are arriving, lured in because they heard the words "Longarm Sewing Machine" and "Hand-made quilts"

Various factions present include but are far from limited to: -Probably Six Quilt Guilds -The Denver Art League -The Denver Leather League -The Vikings -The Klingons -The Colorado Wild Game Share -A Pack of Scientific Illustrators -A Pack of Assorted Scientists they brought with them -The Sheep Lesbians -The Horse Lesbians -Three Extremely Competent Finnish People (My Scientific Illustration Professor and her sisters) who immediately take over the estate sale and turn it into an auction to maximize profit and keep the taxes in order.

Someone brings two additional Corgi called "Cap" and "Bucky"

They are Pembroke Corgi, and weigh about 21lbs apiece

Herschel is a Cardigan Welsh Corgi and weighs 42lbs because he's hug even for a Cardigan, and is Delighted with his New Minions.

They worship him as a God and follow him around so every time he sticks his face in something two smaller corgi faces immediately follow, like some kind of adorable cerberus.

Pelts and meat shares are being traded out of the backs of trucks and vans

Someone is making bratwurst.

Intrigued by the Brouhaha, Doris' neighbors emerge.

They are also Geriatric and very nervous, because Marcia has been harassing them too.

They are telling this to the members of these factions that are also lawyers.

There are at least 5 of them so far and David isn't even here yet.

I realize my realtor isn't even here.

I decide to text her.

She is somewhere in the crowd and having a nervous breakdown because She's SO LATE!!!

Ma'am.

It's 103 out.

I was just handed a freshly grilled Brat

Some bitch is incriminating herself on the lawn.

Nothing scheduled is happening.

Come sit in the yard and watch the Corgis play on the Palyskool plastic slide set. They're disassembling it like tiny furry engineers.

Have a bratwurst.

One of the Klingons appears, having physically carried my realtor through the crowd, and gently deposits her on the lawn before handing her a Bratwurst.

Diane, the Realtor, is not much older than I am, and from the preppie swaths of society that has "Never had a dog growing up" and "Didn't Know People Could Just. Make. Blankets?" and "What is this? It's like a hot dog but spicy?"

She is having a LEARNING EXPERIENCE.

One of the Horse Lesbians comes over and compliments Diane on her Dior handbag.

Diane thanks her ans compliments the apparently expensive brand scarf she has on. Do you. Know all these people?

Horse Lesbian explains that she's part of the SCA, and what that is, and that why yes. Her girlfriend Tasha is an armorer. Yes like for knights.

More Livestock Lesbians assemble.

They are pulling off shirts to show off livestock and battle scars, and biceps.

Diane is LEARNING A LOT TODAY.

I am just getting everyone's contact info and making sure Herschel does not consume his weight in bratwurst.

BWOOP!

Uh-Oh.

Marcia's Husband is here.

I step out front.

He has used the siren to largely part the crowd and pull into his driveway but it has closed around him and there is No Escape.

He starts huffing and puffing about blocked traffic and permits and the like, but this is not his usual Can-Bully-Without-Consequences crowd.

These are Grandmas.

Veterans of the 60's protest front who never let up.

He's starting to turn bright red and looks like he's about to cry and I've got my phone out to record whatever Incident is about to occur.

-And a Mercedes pulls up.

It's David.

Dr. Ruth's son.

The Lawyer.

And I emphasize that The because David is not some mere ambulance chaser.

David is the guy that the state sends to prosecute Corporate Fraud and Organized Crime and Other State Departments.

David was part of the team that took down the CO Branch of the KKK.

David is all of 5'4", very round and a balding little man that looks like the Dictonary Definition of "Nebbish" that moves with such intense confidence and authority that he pretty much has the Pillar Men Theme Blasting behind him at all times.

So when he and three other lawyers from the state's office step out of the car

Mr. Sherrif goes from red to while like color-changing octopus and I am like 50% sure he shit himself.

Because what he and Marcia have been doing is Very, Very, Very, VERY, Fucking Illegal.

"mArCiA!" he garbles. "sHuT tHe fUcK uP!"

Marcia is standing in the middle of the cul-de-sac, having spent the last 3 hours recounting to anyone who will listen about the 'measures she's had to take' and now the 5 lawyers that were here are delightedly handing over the paperwork that she had forced on Doris and her Neighbors, and pointing at all the doorbell cameras and witnesses out to the state's top prosecutor.

Friends

I ugly laughed.

FOUR HOURS LATER: -Auction wrapped up with a solid $40K to Doris' name plus pending sales on some of her larger furniture and antiques

Plus whatever David gets in damages from the county sherrif's office.

Marcia and husband are fucking busted

Herschel spent all afternoon running around and eating snacks and is passed out on the floor

Diane is "meeting up with" one of the Horse Lesbians next week.

The sewing machine went to someone else but I did open my purse and found out Doris or someone shoved a bunch of cash in there.

I'm getting ice dream and going to bed.

[santiana86]

That was a whole ass hero's journey i love it so much

[unnervinglyferal]

Growing up, we were always supposed to be the ones to understand our father. He was the one who's allowed to throw a tantrum when he's agitated, and we were supposed to just know what things triggered him. When he blew into a rage we were supposed to just endure it, and after it was over mom would come to us to calmly explain what made him do that, and to never do that again.

We were supposed to just understand that he has had a horrible life, and that's why he can't be blamed for his reactions. We were told the details, the exact details if mom knew them. I could recite my father's whole life story from memory, in linear order, listing every single horrible thing that ever happened to him, in such exact detail that my therapist has asked me how I even know such things, or if I'm just speculating. I'm not speculating. I know what color the handle of that shovel was, because my father told our mother, and she told us.

My children will not live like this. They will know fucking nothing about what my life has been. It will not be their job to understand me better than I understand them, they will not understand me like I understand my father. They will not grow up fearing the shadows of the past that lurk at every corner, I will not bring the horrors with me into that house. They won't have to know how fucking bad life can be. They will hear of it later, some of it, in parts. When they're grown, older than I am now.

My children will never fucking learn why their father freezes in terror at the sound of dropping keys.

[vash-the-trans-catboy]

Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yes

No

Voting ended onMar 6, 2023

Pls reblog if u vote :)

If yes, let me know what colors

If no, what colors would you do?

[duckdotcom]

gonna dox the pope

[escuerzoresucitado]

[santiana86]

Wtf wheres the cat its just a plant

[only-cat-memes]

Your daily dose of cat memes

[santiana86]

He make an big steppy :)

[beardedmrbean]

[theman]

I GOT A FUCKING RAISE THE POTATO WORKED WTF

[tattooedzombigirl]

This potato works. Every. Fucking. Time.

[reallyndacarter]

I would enjoy some good luck from the potato.

[colleendoran]

I need some luck right now, so all hail the Lucky Potato. Do your magic, Potato. I respect you so much I am capitalizing the "P" in Potato.

[santiana86]

I reblog the Lucky Potato to bless the like 8 people that follow me with good luck

[yamujiburo]

From my Hanamusa AU! A lot of people wanted a Jessie and Ash heart to heart. Extended dialogue under the cut!

Jessie: Listen, I know this is weird for both of us. I wasn't trying to fall in love with your mom.

Ash: Ugh you're making it weirder-

Jessie: I KNOW I DIDN'T LIKE HOW THAT SOUNDED BUT PLEASE LISTEN. I know you still don't trust me either and that's understandable. I was a massively successful, evil villainess after all

Ash: That doesn't help your case

Jessie: But that's behind me now. And I promise, I would never do anything to hurt Delia.

Ash: ...I get it. Mom deserves someone to be there for her. Must be lonely here since I started my journey.

Jessie: You could stand to come visit her more. I'm sure she'd appreciate it.

Ash: She does seem happy. And that's all that matters to me.

Jessie: You're a good twerp, kid– I mean, a good kid, Ash.

Ash: Y'know, you seem happy too!

Jessie: W-well of course I am! It's... nice. To be a part of a family. I care about Delia a lot, and I care about you too. Especially after all this time.

Ash: Thanks, Dad

Jessie: DAD??? Oh god I'm gonna puke.

Ash: Mom's already "mom"! You can't be mom too!

Jessie: I do NOT wanna open the can of Orthworms that comes with being your father.

Ash: Fine, what about "Mother"?

Jessie: NOPE!

Ash: "Ma"?

Jessie: BAD!

Ash: "Mum"?

Jessie: WORSE! Please just call me Jessie, this conversation is over!!!

[santiana86]

Adorable i love this

[samairuart]

Your turn sister 🤝🏽

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

GASP

[santiana86]

They really did just say fuck it bisexuality 2: this time its personal witchy

[psuedofolio]

I think you guys liked the Fluffy Spider Girl

[santiana86]

Spider girl as messy room introvert just kinda tracks honestly. Like i can totally see her looking up from her newest edm single shes been working on bc we were gonna like hang out or something. Im getting underground artist in a not really mainstream genre that has a kinda solid fanbase vibes here. I have no fuckin clue why this makes sense or even if it does to anyone else but like thats what im getting from this and i love it so much

[mangakasanakajenw]

These picture generating prompters have no shame…..

[animentality]

[santiana86]

All im saying is we could have it again yall just be naming your kids larry and shit

[welcomedhappiness]

Farewell online privacy

[tikalgirl]

What happened?

[welcomedhappiness]

Trump happened.

[pizzaalle]

just get a VPN?

[earth-ruin]

You can’t just tell people to ‘get a VPN (Virtual Private Network)’. Buying a VPN is like buying a house. It’s very very important. Having no VPN or having a ‘wrong’ one can seriously damage your life. Especially for Americans because their privacy laws are garbage. I am going to try explain why you should get a VPN but bare with me, I am from Germany and my English is far from perfect.

Let’s start with a simple test. Click this link here: https://whatismyipaddress.com/ It will tell your IP address, your ISP (internet service provider), and your location. The location might not be very accurate, but then again, it’s just a simple website. Imagine what the government can do!

So basically, everyone can find out where you live. But there is more danger. Your ISP. Your ISP logs your every move online and they are required to keep it in case the government wants access to it (or if a 3rd party wants to buy your data (yikes). They have everything. What websites you visit. How long you stay on a website. What you download. Your search terms. European laws are more subtle on this but if you are from the US you are #@*#&, especially because Trump doesn’t support the open internet. It’s scary but maybe in the future you can’t get a job because the recruiter knows your searched on ‘how to deal with depression’ or anythings else that’s supposed to be private because it’s your f*cking right. Or you get a $100k fine because you pirated a movie 15 years ago. You need a VPN. You’re dumb for not using one. but what does a VPN do?

A VPN encrypts all your data so if it were be intercepted no one can ‘crack the code’ and damage your privacy.

Usually being online goes like this (simplified): Your computer —-> ISP (—–> keeps data —–> sells it)

But with a VPN it goes like: Your computer —–> VPN (encrypts data)—–> ISP (ISP can’t see shit)

Furthermore, a VPN hides your IP address and location by giving you another IP address located in Spain for example (you can often choose from a list and change as many times as you want).  

Now that you know why you should get a VPN and what is does it is important to educate yourself because people often choose the wrong VPN. VPN providers are also businesses and have to obey the law. If you choose a VPN provider located in the US then you are throwing your money away because the laws in the US shits on your privacy. If the US gov wants the provider to give all their logs they have to obey. The ISP  still can’t see what you are doing online and sell your data but the US gov can interfere with your VPN provider so NEVER CHOOSE A PROVIDER LOCATED IN THE US.

I just wanted to make that very clear so my followers don’t buy false security.

There is still more danger! Who says your VPN provider isn’t selling your data? You need to check their logging policy. Do they keep logs? If yes, what for? For how long do they keep them? Tip: Choose a provider who doesn’t keep logs

More about law The US is part of the Five Eyes program (the worst):  

The Five Eyes, often abbreviated as FVEY, is an intelligence alliance comprising Australia, Canada, New Zealand, the United Kingdom and the United States. These countries are bound by the multilateral UKUSA Agreement, a treaty for joint cooperation in signals intelligence (source)

There is also a Nine Eyes (bit better) and Fourteen Eyes Program (better). You don’t want a VPN provider who is located in one the Five Eyes countries. If you had to choose go for a provider located in a country that’s part of the Fourteen Eyes Program or even better, go for a country that isn’t part of any program!

I know this is a shitty explanation and please pardon my english but now it’s time to do your own research. Take your privacy seriously. Maybe WWIII breaks out and you get killed for liking the ‘wrong’ FB-page.  

Go to this website: https://thatoneprivacysite.xyz/simple-vpn-comparison/ 

Make sure that your future VPN provider both has green boxes for Privacy Jurisdiction and Privacy Logging.

I recommend ovpn.se and trust.zone. ovpn is located in Sweden so they are part of the 14 Eyes Program and they keep minimal logs. Their business ethics, however, are alright.

Trustzone is located in the Seychelles. No country can interfere and their privacy jurisdiction is the best you can get. The US want your data but needs to get it from Trustzone? The Seychelles will simply give them the finger and wave them goodbye. However, this makes this provider very appealing for people who torrent and criminals because they keep no logs (and that is how it shoud be) Also,  there are almost no marketing efforts so this provider is one the cheapest)  

Also, often providers such as ExpressVPN are being called ‘The Best’ on websites about VPNs but know that this is just marketing which also makes those provider more expensive (and they too shit on your privacy)

This must be the worst article you have ever read but please, please take your privacy very seriously.

EDIT: I got many people asking me which provider I use. For those who want to know, I use Trust Zone. They offer a free 3-day trial with no strings attached. But still do your own research!

[writing-prompt-s]

I am also with Trustzone but I think you forgot to explain one of it’s most important features. It protects you when you are using someone else’s Wi-Fi. If you are at Starbucks and you use their Wi-Fi your privacy is at risk. Anyone with ill intentions could steal your information. Especially if you are using an unsecured Wi-Fi hotspot. With a VPN your data gets encrypted so no one can steal it. 

[rabbitbitty]

Wait, what’s going, on? Did trump destroy internet privacy with a bill or something? Where’s the news? Oh wait, why am I getting visions of Alex Jones and selling water purifiers?

[coltrar]

Trump wants more surveillance of Muslim Americans. This in a country where internet privacy is already close to non-existent.

Trust.Zone has a free trial. Use it.

btw this post only has 11k notes? That’s quite disappointing for something this important.

Don’t reblog this post to save a life. Reblog this to protect an entire family!

[imthedoctor13]

@earth-ruin @writing-prompt-s Should I get trustzone for my mobile device?

[writing-prompt-s]

If you use public Wi-Fi, then yes. Which VPN you use is up to you, amigo. Take @earth-ruin‘s advice. Do your own research first. 

[writing-prompt-s]

@elvesfromthedeep​ just brought the current situation in the US to my attention (March 30, 2017). 

Sources

Anger as US internet privacy law scrapped

Congress just voted to let internet providers sell your browsing history

To all my friends in the US, please read this entire post. Making everyone aware of VPNs is going to be my mission. Your privacy matters. Please reblog this post.

[blueeyespurpleheart]

Don’t tell me you just wanted to scroll past this. Stop looking at pictures of cats for a moment, okay? Don’t you realize how important this is? This is dangerous! ‘America, the best FREE country in the world’ my ass.

With this new law your ISP can sell your Internet history which could include passwords, usernames, religion, credit card numbers, race and much more to the highest bidder. So here is what I want you to do.

You are going to read the whole thing and before you think ’this is so important. Let me reblog this real quick and go back to admiring cats again-’ NO! Don’t reblog this. Take action first. Then reblog. Sign up for a free trial! Trust.Zone offers one (here). Yes. It might be difficult to set up a VPN for some people. But is that going to stop you from protecting yourself and your family? 30 minutes. 30 minutes is all that it takes. 5 if you know how to install software. The problem with some of you is that you see ‘difficult’ as something negative. I want you to see difficult differently. I need you to push through this stuff. You are going to protect yourself. There is nothing negative about that. 

VPNs are fun and costsaving too! A VPN bypasses geographical restrictions so you can access websites you normally can’t or you could start Netflix’s one month free trial over and over again- forever. And it’s legal! (unless you use it to buy weapons etc.,) 

Don’t tell yourself that you are too tired and that you will do this tomorrow. Because that isn’t going to happen and you know it. You have to do this right now. You only have to click on it.  Don’t let this/shit/life just happen to you. Take yourself seriously. Get a VPN.

Privacy is not a privilege, it’s a fundamental human right

[thejoyfuldefender]

Ok sorry that it’s so freaking long and also sorry for the language, but this is extremely important. Please reblog!

[bearcubsandicecreammachines]

Reblogging again bc this is important

[santiana86]

To the like 4 people that follow me, vpn up this shit scary as fuck

[propagands-deactivated20220320]

[kaumnyakte]

Science side of Tumblr here! This is because of the will of God.

[santiana86]

No it isnt god is dead its the tiny little wizards in the camera, theyre transmuting the circles into squares bc squares are cooler 🙄 also they cant swim and thats why cameras dont work underwater

[zxid]

collection

[santiana86]

The lost trilogy