if i look back, i am lost
Keni
I'd rather be in outer space đ¸
ojovivo
wallacepolsom
bliss lane
No title available
KIROKAZE
Stranger Things
đŞź
Product Placement
RMH
Misplaced Lens Cap
we're not kids anymore.
noise dept.
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
sheepfilms
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
PR's Tumblrdome
todays bird
seen from Belgium
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@mollys-crochet
updated welcome
hi, my loves!
my name is molly and i'm 17. for this reason, unless i know you in person, please only interact if you are over the age of 15 x
i'm autistic and have severe anxiety so please be kind :)
my main special interest is crochet and my favourite colour is pink
i am taking a-level maths and psychology and also aaq level 3 btec health and social care, so we can chat about these if you like :)
no but im so tired of how self-deprecation is always more accepted than self-advocacy. if i say i can't drive because im autistic i get questioned on how exactly that works and given a million suggestions on how to do it anyway and i look like im trying to be special so it's easier to just say im a loser. yeah i don't drive because im kind of a loser lmao. oh well. and people say lmao back and we move on. at worst they say "oh im sure you'll figure it out haha." but no interrogation!! being a loser is more respectable than being disabled. being a loser is something that doesn't make other people feel uncomfortable about their own biases. so no, no im not disabled. i don't struggle to keep friends and do the laundry and make quick trivial decisions and clean my room and brush my teeth because im autistic. it's because im a loser. it's my fault. it is what it is. at least im funny now. do you think im funny? please think im funny
if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"
you have to be kinder to people with memory issues.
you have to be kinder to people who are slow processors.
you have to be kinder to people who don't understand your jokes.
you have to be kinder to people who forget important dates.
you have to be kinder to people with cognitive decline.
you have to be kinder to people who were always this way, too.
you have to be kind. you have to be kind.
beef with the local council 1
okay so following my asd diagnosis through camhs in september, my mom requested an ehcna in january. as i was now 16, they refused to start the process until iâd signed my consent, and they also sent a fairly passive-aggressive email about how as i was 16 i could request one myself. anyway, i signed my consent and the process started. week 6 comes along and they refuse to assess because âwhile we agree molly has/may have sen, her needs can be met in a mainstream environment with normal provisionâ. this is obviously not the case so we went to mediation.
by the time mediation came around, it was early may. this meeting was a shitshow and according to miss m the mediator was biased towards the council but my mom thinks he was diplomatic so iâm unsure. essentially, the council believed that there wasnât enough evidence for the graduated approach as i hadnât seen either an ep or the asd team (both of these run by the la) - even though up until three months ago i was having fortnightly sessions with an asd-specialised clinical psychologist and am having ongoing appointments with a consultant psychiatrist every 6-8 weeks. i said to the guy from the council âso because camhs are separate to the council youâre ignoring them?â. he backtracked but it was a load of waffle. anyway, they decided not to assess. i personally cba with tribunal as i am in year 11, but idk what my mom will say.
update: turns out the council broke the law twice in this mediation. my mom requested my psychiatrist and psychologist to be present but they werenât even invited - which is against the law as they are classed as health professionals. and they also set the bar for assessment higher than the legal guidelines, also illegal. not best pleased.
update: they have agreed they need to provide the school with additional funding!!! the senco is apparently drafting the request over easter so weâll see. trying not to get my hopes up and also trying to be optimistic is a difficult balance.
update: itâs been sent off now! the council just has to agree to it! the proposed plans would provide me with 1:1 support 75% of the time! trying not to get my hopes up but things might actually work out!
update: they decided to approve ÂŁ1200 of the ÂŁ8000 requested :( HOWEVER they are going to assess me for an EHCP, which is good
beef with the local council 1
okay so following my asd diagnosis through camhs in september, my mom requested an ehcna in january. as i was now 16, they refused to start the process until iâd signed my consent, and they also sent a fairly passive-aggressive email about how as i was 16 i could request one myself. anyway, i signed my consent and the process started. week 6 comes along and they refuse to assess because âwhile we agree molly has/may have sen, her needs can be met in a mainstream environment with normal provisionâ. this is obviously not the case so we went to mediation.
by the time mediation came around, it was early may. this meeting was a shitshow and according to miss m the mediator was biased towards the council but my mom thinks he was diplomatic so iâm unsure. essentially, the council believed that there wasnât enough evidence for the graduated approach as i hadnât seen either an ep or the asd team (both of these run by the la) - even though up until three months ago i was having fortnightly sessions with an asd-specialised clinical psychologist and am having ongoing appointments with a consultant psychiatrist every 6-8 weeks. i said to the guy from the council âso because camhs are separate to the council youâre ignoring them?â. he backtracked but it was a load of waffle. anyway, they decided not to assess. i personally cba with tribunal as i am in year 11, but idk what my mom will say.
update: turns out the council broke the law twice in this mediation. my mom requested my psychiatrist and psychologist to be present but they werenât even invited - which is against the law as they are classed as health professionals. and they also set the bar for assessment higher than the legal guidelines, also illegal. not best pleased.
update: they have agreed they need to provide the school with additional funding!!! the senco is apparently drafting the request over easter so weâll see. trying not to get my hopes up and also trying to be optimistic is a difficult balance.
update: itâs been sent off now! the council just has to agree to it! the proposed plans would provide me with 1:1 support 75% of the time! trying not to get my hopes up but things might actually work out!
What I feel people frequently forget about autistic special interests is that they aren't always information based. They may simply be visual or mental
Someone may have a special interest in a show, but instead of that meaning that they will talk about that show often, it may mean they watch that show extremely frequently.
Special interests are ways of regulating, not simply encyclopedias we have in our heads. Sometimes it's watching something frequently. Maybe only listening to one genre of music, maybe it's a collection, maybe it's an action. I'm tired of it only being seen as autistic people's personal encyclopedias
Unicorn in a tutu!!!
This little guy I believe was once again made a few years ago, so I donât fully remember which patterns I used. I do think that I merged different ones together and adapted them as needed to create my vision. Credits to the authors of them patterns x
Mushrooms!!! I made these ages ago on commission for a friend. I think I used a variety of patterns and merged and adjusted them to make them my own but I canât remember which ones or whoâs patterns they were as this was years ago, credits to them though x
Little goldfish I made ages ago. Forgot whoâs pattern it was, but credits to them x
Miss M with the Inclusion Departmentâs Crochet Club group project: a granny square blanket!
There should be a conversation about weaponized incompetence, but can people do it in a way that isnât ableist??
I was watching a video about it and the creator went into a rant about how, if youâre a grown ass adult and you canât do certain things and rely on your partner to do them for you, then you should feel embarrassed. Said creator also pointed out their own disability as a way to say âIâm disabled and I donât have trouble with these thingsâ
I already feel embarrassed and this makes it worse. They could have specified people that were capable of doing those things for themselves instead of saying âgrown ass adults.â
Iâm a grown ass adult. Iâm twenty one. I canât do a lot of those things. Iâm fucking disabled. Does that mean I deserve to feel embarrassed for having to ask for help? Or am I not considered an adult in this scenario because Iâm not capable of doing things despite my disability?
I know itâs probably not intentional but, fuck, they should know better. Theyâve literally talked about ableism before!
this is ableism.
This April, letâs not piss on and throw tomatoes at autistics who have low or no empathy.
âPresuming competenceâ in the context of autism doesnât mean assuming they have no cognitive deficits, or that they will 100% understand everything their allistic peers would. It means you should go into an interaction with an autistic person without assumptions about what they can and cannot understand. It means to treat them with respect, and act like they can hear and understand you, and to explain gracefully when they donât.
beef with the local council 1
okay so following my asd diagnosis through camhs in september, my mom requested an ehcna in january. as i was now 16, they refused to start the process until iâd signed my consent, and they also sent a fairly passive-aggressive email about how as i was 16 i could request one myself. anyway, i signed my consent and the process started. week 6 comes along and they refuse to assess because âwhile we agree molly has/may have sen, her needs can be met in a mainstream environment with normal provisionâ. this is obviously not the case so we went to mediation.
by the time mediation came around, it was early may. this meeting was a shitshow and according to miss m the mediator was biased towards the council but my mom thinks he was diplomatic so iâm unsure. essentially, the council believed that there wasnât enough evidence for the graduated approach as i hadnât seen either an ep or the asd team (both of these run by the la) - even though up until three months ago i was having fortnightly sessions with an asd-specialised clinical psychologist and am having ongoing appointments with a consultant psychiatrist every 6-8 weeks. i said to the guy from the council âso because camhs are separate to the council youâre ignoring them?â. he backtracked but it was a load of waffle. anyway, they decided not to assess. i personally cba with tribunal as i am in year 11, but idk what my mom will say.
update: turns out the council broke the law twice in this mediation. my mom requested my psychiatrist and psychologist to be present but they werenât even invited - which is against the law as they are classed as health professionals. and they also set the bar for assessment higher than the legal guidelines, also illegal. not best pleased.
update: they have agreed they need to provide the school with additional funding!!! the senco is apparently drafting the request over easter so weâll see. trying not to get my hopes up and also trying to be optimistic is a difficult balance.
life update
theyâve changed the assistant senco and i feel like sheâs actually going to help me. not that the other one wasnât great, but she was very selective with what students she supported and didnât really get involved with supporting me. this one pulled me out of form the other day and actually made me feel seen. iâm trying not to get my hopes up but i think i might actually finally get somewhere. i have to submit my second ehcnar later than expected which is frustrating but i think theyâll actually agree to asses this time!
update: that was just the school doing there âitâs september, letâs pretend we careâ thing. iâve not spoke to her since. idk if itâs because iâm more involved with the actual senco or if sheâs just not good at her job.
Something happened that Iâm still trying to understand - both what happened and how it made me feel. I was sat in one of my teachersâ office, when someone in the year above me made a playful comment to him. I didnât understand if he was joking or not so after he left, I asked the teacher. There was another girl in the room, also in the year above, who laughed when I asked him this question. I donât think it was in a mean way and I am still very confused. (For context, she is a stud so obviously there were âbutterflies in my tummyâ because sheâs fit, and additionally I am similar to her girlfriend appearance-wise).
I donât mind when people who Iâm close to laugh at me when I donât understand a social cue, because I know theyâre laughing because they find it endearing. But when itâs someone I donât interact with besides seeing them in the corridor, I donât understand whatâs happening. I spoke to one of the teaching assistants about it and she said that maybe she thought I was joking, or that sheâd realised I was autistic and also found it endearing. Iâm still unsure.
I think it raises an interesting point though about how high masking, medium support needs autistic women are viewed by people who arenât close enough to see them unmasked. Part of my masking is I intentionally make sure I look feminine and somewhat glamorous when I leave the house - in part because it makes me feel good about myself but also because people are less likely to see me as the vulnerable, gullible, easy-to-manipulate autistic girl that I am when they see eyelash extensions and short skirts. Itâs interesting because no matter how blatantly my needs are stated or how obvious I make my confusion, people will always see me as the âmanic pixie dream girlâ autistic and not the âneeds changes explained to me 5 times to understand what is happening and another 5 times to process itâ autistic, or the âholes in my bedroom wall from throwing things and headbangingâ autistic.
