(mention of adultery and cheating) (I mean that's the litteraly chore of Charted-)
(thx random.doodle.account/instgr for beta reading even tho you're not familiar with the Hatchetfield Universe)
Every Thursday night was one where Ted would punch his feelings out of his chest by getting down a bottle of any kind of booze, while pretending to pay attention to whatever was playing his TV. There was a time where he would tell himself that this weekly mood was irrelevant to Charlotte and Sam's couple counselling meetings. But as the months passed and his affair with Charlotte was continuing, he became aware of his feelings. So he tried to ignore the itching in his heart every time the woman he loved was spending the night with her husband and some cheap ass psychologist, instead of sharing a bed with Ted while Sam was out in another bed with anyone else.
This Thursday was going to be different, though. And that, he knew it from the moment Charlotte ragingly hang up the phone at her desk. An upset Charlotte after a phone call was usually caused by her husband canceling plans at the last second. Thought Sam really never planned to stick to them from the start. But usually she would be the one hanged up on and she would let her worries out with a cigarette or the alcohol from the flask in her purse.
The rest of the day, Charlotte spent it venting to the entire office about how her husband ditched her off for their counselling meeting. If ditching his wife for any kind of date was now expected of Sam, it was the first time he was bailing out of counselling. The only thing left where he was making efforts to keep their marriage afloat. Charlotte spent her coffee break monologuing to whoever would listen to her (mostly Bill. Paul escaped by going to beanies) and only stopped when Melissa came to tell her that Mr Davidson was asking for her to tune it down. She did offer Charlotte a comforting hug before they all went back to work. Ted held her in his arms long after everyone left their office and her angry rambling turned into shaky sobs. He offered to drive her to their therapist but she refused. So he let her go and went his way home.
It was hard to tell what made him feel worse, the vision of a miserable Charlotte late in the office, or the warmth he felt when he thought that she was not going to try to save her dead marriage this night.
After an hour and a half of sitting alone with his thoughts on his sofa, he decided to send her a text, vaguely sure that she would be out of the meeting by this point.
“ Wanna come to my place? ”
It took five minutes, feeling twelve, for his phone to brighten up with an answer, “ Not tonight, Ted.” and frankly, it was enough to ruin the rest of his night.
Feelings of pity and guilt battled inside him as he wondered how Charlotte's counseling had turned out to be. Maybe Sam joined at the last moment and they were about to have a fabulous night of sex for the first time in over two years. Or perhaps the counseling only made her feel worse and her night was gonna be as fun as Ted's weekly pity parties? The hint of relief that the second thought provided him made his guts twist. He decided the best way to finish his night was to take one of the sleep pills his brother forgot at his flat a week ago - he knew all about it, being the one who went to get them with the prescription and had to then explain how to take the medicine - and collapse on his bed for a dreamless sleep.
A few blocks away from there, Charlotte was sitting down her husband at their table.
"We need to talk." All of a sudden, breathing became a lot more difficult for her, and she feared she wouldn't be able to let out what needed to be said.
Three hours ago, tears of anger were threatening to blur her vision as she drove to their - well, her - therapy appointment. Once in the office, she let out all her frustration on her psychiatrist, who quietly listened to her. Once she got most of it out of her system, Charlotte buried her face in her hands with an irritated noise. Then they both talked and it felt like her eyes were being wide open to an obvious truth after years of denial.
She drove to her own conclusions, thanked the psychiatrist and left, informing her that this would be their last therapy meeting with her. On her way home, she took advantage of a red light to check her phone. She declined Ted's invitation and dialed Sam's phone.
"Hello? Look, Charlotte, I'm really sorry about tonight-"
"No Sam, listen to me. Come home right now."
"Cancel your plans with that girl tonight and come home."
He stayed silent for a second, then capitulated and Charlotte hung up on him for the second time today, burning with confidence.
So she opened her mouth and talked.
"Sam, I have been trying to save our marriage for the last few years, and you have barely shown any interest in participating in it at all. And the fact that you have been so dismissive and cold and disinterested still makes me very angry. But I know that you are also mad at me for being completely blind at what you were trying to tell me with all of that. Because, it's been for a while now, that you don't love me anymore."
She paused and his jaw clenched. Obviously, they both knew it to some kind of level for a while. But formulating it so clearly was not something either of them had done before.
"That's true. I don't." He said after a while. "And I don't think you still love me either. Do you, Charlotte?"
A half smile crossed her face and she answered. "No, I don't think I do. Well..." She shifted on her seat "I still care about you. But I am not in love with you anymore."
"I still care about you too!" Sam exclaimed. This made Charlotte raise an eyebrow.
"Of course I do. Tho I can't blame you for being surprised. I have been really shitty to you. God. I just don't feel like expressing romantic things towards you, the only way I found to avoid doing that was to be a complete asshole to you. But we still shared over fifteen years of our lives together and I care about you. Losing you is very scary. And I'm sorry I hurt you. I understand that you're mad at me for all of this." He was playing with his hand, trying to keep his eyes on her while formulating his feelings the best way he could.
Charlotte listened, not denying any statement about his neglect towards her. This was the longest and most open conversation they have had in years and she could tell hé had been thinking about what he was saying for a long time.
"You know, " she said. "I think we could have fixed this. But I know you didn't want it to be fixed for a long time now. And I don't want to fight for it anymore."
Sam chooses his words carefully. "What? Do you want a-"
"I think we should divorce. I want to."
He stared at her for a moment before smiling and nodding his head. "I think I'd like that. Yes. I want to divorce you too."
They talked some more. Sam offered to be the one sleeping on the sofa for this night, since she was going to be on an uncomfortable chair at work for the whole next day. And Charlotte thought that this was the most intentioned Sam had been towards her in years.
The next day, Ted saw Charlotte coming into the office, beaming. He finds himself staring at her, before reminding himself this meant she spent an presumably great night with Sam.
Charlotte doesn't text or call Ted for sex during three whole weeks, and he wonders if the couple therapy could actually be working. He wishes this made him feel happy for her, but the thought of it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.
This goes on until Friday of the third week, when someone he barely knows in the office invites his friends for a night at a bar. Ted doesn't know for what special occasion it is. But Melissa is invited, so he tags along, and Charlotte apparently knows this co-worker too, so she's coming.
During the night, he uses the alcohol as an excuse to shamelessly flirt with Charlotte. Paul does reprehend him a couple times ; "Leave her alone. She's married, Ted." And he notices the light in her eyes everytime her marriage is mentioned. It punches him in the guts, but she flirts back with him, so he keeps going. And in the morning, they're in his bed.
One thing surprising about this, is that until then, he had to at least ask her to stay with him for the night. And even then, she would be gone in a panic, within ten minutes after she woke up. But this morning she doesn't seem to have any worry and lazily lays with him in his bed. So he holds her as she is the most precious thing in his life.
He never thought he would ever be the one worrying about how long she stays with him. But when eleven o'clock passed, he asked "Isn't Sam going to worry or get mad if you don't go home?"
"I sent a text last night to tell him I probably wouldn't be home in the morning. What I do in this time doesn't concern him- anymore." She stops playing with Ted's hair and sits up to face him. "I need to tell you something."
Ted laid on his elbow to look back at her.
"I wanted to wait a little longer to announce it to everyone, but I think I owe you an explanation."
"You don't owe me anything."
"Let me speak. When I went alone to our couple therapy a few weeks ago, it made me realize a lot of things. So we talked, and you don't need to know the details. But Sam and I are getting a divorce."
Ted's face brightened. "Charlotte, are you serious?"
She nods, barely hiding her pride and Ted doesn't even try to mask his happiness and relief. He sits up to wrap his arms around her and let congratulations flow out of his mouth.
But then he stops and backs away.
"So... What does this mean for us?" She didn't answer right away.
"Let's get dressed first."
She got up to collect her and Ted's clothes in the room. She puts hers back on and Ted gets sweatpants and a shirt from his closet.
Then they sit back on the bed.
Charlotte explains to him that she feels lost about them right now. She does like him a lot. But she also knows him.
"You said you loved me many times." And it was true. In any other circumstances, he would have killed himself rather than telling any partner that he loved them. But at some point in his relationship with Charlotte where he didn't care about being hurt anymore. So he said it more times than he should have, even though he knew the only response to his love would be a silent Charlotte or a thank you. But he said it, just in case she said it back this one time.
"But will you still love me when I won't be a married woman anymore?"
"Of course I will." He wants to tell her how a life by her sides is everything he had been wishing for in the last months. But he is a coward and his love declaration doesn't break the fence of his lips.
"Even if that's true, you have your own issues that you've never worked on. And it's clearly an obstacle in your social life. I don't think we would be happy together in the long run. I am going to start to make healthy choices for me. And even though I love you, you are not a good choice for me right now. I need time now that I left Sam. We both need time." It became more difficult to breath and speak as she was going to her point. She tried to get her assurance back for her conclusion.
"So tonight will be the last time for long."
For half a second, Ted contemplates the option of letting go of his pride, showing vulnerability, pleading on his knees to at least show her how much she matters to him.
And then he shrugs, and giggles nervously. "God, Charlotte. Is that the shit your therapist's been feeding you on your two-cents-an-hour-counselings?" She gives him a sad but confident look.
"Bye, Ted." She gets up and exits the room. From his bed, Ted can hear her steps stopping to grab her bag, then coming back until the front door shuts.
He falls back on his sheets, still filled with Charlotte's scent (and it would stay for a long time) and soon gives up on holding the tears back. She told him "this is the last time" almost every time they had sex. She always came back asking for more. But this time it wasn't some kind of ritual to keep good conscience as a married woman, and Ted knew it.
Charlotte played with her lighter all the way down the staircase to light up a cigarette outside. One of her good resolutions following her divorce was to quit this bad habit. But she decided she wouldn't break down until at home. It was either the smoke or her flask to keep her composed until then. And she still had to drive, so the latter was out.
Months pass. Charlotte grows more confident. Struggles at quitting smoking, but Bill made a point to supervise her "nicotine addiction recovery" by being over her shoulder pretty much all the time she could possibili light a cigarette. She is irritated at first, but as her recovery progresses, she softens and even thanks him sometimes. She takes knitting lessons from Melissa, learns to create her own oversized sweater. She comes to work with a new colorful and fantasist sweater every now and then, even makes one for Melissa, who doesn't put it on at work, but you can see her wearing it proudly in the streets of Hatchetfield. Soon, Paul joins them and they meet every Friday night for their small knitting club.
She did announce the news of the divorce to the office. Her friends acclaimed her, and she got unsure "wooh"'s from those who knew her less. She and Bill joked about forming a "divorced club" at coffee breaks.
One thing she didn't expect from the divorce, was to get along with Sam. But they were friendlier than they had been in the last three years. It was like being in a collocation in college again. They switched their place on the sofa and the bed every two nights and got lost in all the papers of the divorce case, until the moment of selling their house and getting both a new place came. Charlotte bought a nice apartment in her price range and close to her job, decorated it with fairy lights and brought the scent of candles and incense in it.
Ted got to watch her becoming bolder and brighter every day. An aspect of her that he had been the only one able to bring out during the two years of their affair. This time it really did make him feel warm and proud to see her bloom again. Even though he still found himself wishing he could be closer to her to witness it, every now and then.
After the break up (he decided he was allowed to call it a break up), Ted decided he would try to move on and leave her be. He debated with himself, and decided that he needed to question himself. Not only because he knew Charlotte wasn't the psychological analyse type and everything she told him could only come from her therapist - he guessed she talked about him during her last session. And really, if anyone was able to hit this close to home with only information from an acquaintance of his , then maybe he should be worried. - But also because he was hearing more and more people praising the positive effects of therapy. And if it could get him to feel better without the price of nights wasted on any kind of booze, then it could be worth trying out.
At first he absolutely hated it. But a few months into the regular appointments with his psychologist, he found himself growing fond of it. He learns lots of things about emotions management and healthy coping methods. And if he isn't ready to give up his "office asshole" title, he can't deny the benefits it has on his social life. He gets back a closer bond with his parents. Paul actually appreciates him, occasionally inviting him on his coffee break trips to beanies where Ted and the crabby barista (or Emma, as she likes to remind him. Or Paul's dear girlfriend, as Paul likes to remind him) play a "who will be the most sassy-arrogant-good-talker-asshole today" game. You would think they hate each other's guts, but they like to call it a "special friendship bond" leaving people unsure if they are being serious or sarcastic about it.
Melissa, already close friend with Ted (as the two most disliked people of the office) was proud of his improvements and was doing fine too, creating close bonds with Charlotte and Paul herself.
Now, the most surprising of all things, was the closeness of the friendship Ted and Bill created together. You see, when Ted started to work on his issues, he decided that being nice to Bill was a good start. He soon realised he had got a soft spot for his colleague's sweetness, and Bill discovered that he wasn't so annoyed by Ted's venomous comments when they weren't directed at him like a bully to his victim in high school. Actually, he wouldn't admit it, but the comments were funny when directed at random people being assholes to them for no reason. He would still gently shove an elbow in Ted's ribs when he thought the person didn't deserve one of his sarcastic comments and they'd laugh about it.
The two of them and Alice, Bill's daughter, regularly went to the theater together. Ted would religiously listen to her analysis and knowledge about musicals on their way out. Bill helped his new friend to make it up to Paul for the last 8 years of being an asshole. Ted was still a little bitch. But now he was a little bitch working on being more emotionally stable, with close friends he cared about. He was a thriving little bitch.
You could think Charlotte and Ted were at a new chapter of their life. And well, that was half true. Because both were at a better place. But the stolen glances were still there. A short stare while no one was looking. A longing look on a distracted moment. Late night thoughts and itches in their hearts.
It had been almost a year since their breakup, when Ted was having one of those bad days. His alarm didn't go off to wake him up, so he bursted in his office 30 minutes late. Then, he didn't know how, but he got his cup mixed with someone else's during the break and drank a coffee ways too strong for him. Work was already exhausting lately and his mother drained his last mental energy in one call at the end of the day. After work, it was Knitting Night for Melissa, Paul and Charlotte. Bill was having a day off to take Alice to an amusement park (he had been talking non stop about how excited he was to spend the day with his daughter). Ted's brother was at their parent's, and he really didn't feel like going there for the night. The only person he could consider a close friend that wasn't busy, was Emma, probably ready to spend the night in front of a Netflix show until her boyfriend came home.
He decided a night at the bar would be more comforting than his rival in the sass game. In fact, it had been a while since he went alone in a bar to drink like a monster. Tonight was perfect to get back to it.
So he gets in the closest bar, but before he gets to order a drink, someone catches his eye. And he would have simply ignored him if a brim of the conversation the man was having with a younger woman didn't get to his ears.
"So what, Zoey? It's just over, like that?"
"Well yes, Sam." She says biting her bottom lip in embarrassment. Ted got closer. "Look, this was a bad idea from the beginning. I was a young woman who found the fact that you were married exciting, you were just trying to get out of your marriage. We had fun, of course. But it was a shit show. I'm trying to make better choices lately and I just don't think this is working between us." She waited for Sam to answer, but after a moment of silence, she simply said goodbye, wished him the best and left.
"Tough night, huh?" Ted asks. Sam turned around and didn't seem to recognize him. So Ted offers his hand and presents himself. "Ted Spankoffski, from CPR Technical." Sam's eyes widen and he shakes the offered hand.
"Right, Ted! You're the one Char cheated with."
"Heh, sorry about that." He tries a play off.
"Don't be embarrassed. Besides, I've cheated with more partners than she did. I know it, we counted to know who was doing the dishes, once." He gestures to the sit the woman just left, inviting Ted to sit down. "I also met you at some office parties Charlotte used to take me to. I remember you. Wanna take a drink?" Ted accepts and sits down at Sam's table.
They talk and drink a beer. Sam tells him about the woman who just broke up with him and explains he knew it was going to happen sooner or later. He just wasn't expecting it to be now and here. Ted complains about his day, Sam tells him some of his cop anecdotes, they talk about their common love for musicals and eventually, the subject of Charlotte comes on the table.
When Sam tells him about how she's doing lately, Ted realises that Charlotte had been spending more time with her ex husband than with him since the beginning of her divorce. How ironic that it was the perfect opposite when she was still married.
"You know, it wasn't easy for her to leave you. She had doubts and thought about calling you back. I'm very proud of her for deciding to focus on herself despite everything tho. She's really blossomed since." Was saying Sam.
Ted tells him he misses her. That he was glad she took time for herself, but he had been wondering about trying to reconnect for a while now. Well, the idea never left his head, but lately he was feeling like it could really work if they tried again.
"I wish I could just go ask her out but I'm scared to throw her off. Maybe I should just leave her and see if she comes to me one day. But I'm scared to wait for years and for nothing." A year ago, it would have taken him at least three more drinks to open up. Now the beer was enough.
"I think you should go for it." Sam said, two drinks ahead of Ted. He got his beer and first drink down when he talked about his now ex-girlfriend. "Char's not a small fragile little thing, you know. She's super strong and can get back up. If she doesn't want you she'll just tell you. She knows how it is to force yourself in a relationship. You know she's stronger than me. Maybe I would've let down my studies to be a cop without her support."
"Should I just call her?" Ted asks, Sam nods a little more furiously than he would have done it sober.
"Yeah. You know, I think she'd be happy with you. And..." He leaned across the table and gestured Ted to come closer. "She told me to not tell anyone. But she's been wondering if you moved on and asked me if you would one day call, regularly." Sam let himself fall back into his chair.
"You've got anyone to drive you home?" Ted asked. Sam gestured that no, he had no one to get him home. So Ted offered to drive him, judging the man had got enough for the night. He didn't seem to be handling alcohol well. Or maybe he didn't eat before, because a beer and two glasses weren't much. But Ted could tell when enough was enough.
He follows the vague indications of the cop to find his apartment and watches him get inside his building. The beer Ted had already didn't have an effect on him anymore. He decided to go to bed and sleep on the conversation they had.
Next morning was a Saturday. He had got a text from Bill, a resume of his day with Alice. He decided to read it while enjoying his breakfast. Once he answered his friend, Ted kept his eyes locked on the clock. Knitting nights weren't ending especially late. But he knew Charlotte wasn't a morning person. No matter the time she woke up, it wasn't safe to call her until the time was 10:30.
Once it was, he collected himself to press on the button to call her and finally did it at 10:53.
Ted thought she wouldn't pick up, but right before he got redirected to her voicemail, there was a click and then Charlotte's voice.
Hearing her morning voice brought back an old warmth in his stomach, and suddenly talking was easier.
"Hi Charlotte, it's Ted."
"I know, I still have your number in my contact list." Ted smiled at this declaration while she was biting her lips for talking before thinking.
"I was wondering if you were down for us to see eachother today. I'm not doing anything and we could go get food somewhere or something, I don't know. Catch up."
"How about you come to my place? I haven't shown you my new home yet. We can eat and watch a movie." It was the carnival of Rio in both of their heads and hearts. One couldn't believe when they were saying and the other couldn't believe what they were being asked. Both couldn't believe they were having this conversation.
"Sounds great. Be there in an hour. Uh, send me a text with the address?"
"Will do. So... It's a date, then?"
Ted smiled. "Absolutely." And Charlotte smiled too when they hung up.
She sent her address to Ted, apologized to Emma for cancelling their day out at the last moment, and cleaned her flat and herself the best she could in the hour given.
He showed up around the time promised with Chinese food he got on the way. Charlotte smiled when she noticed her order was her favourite from when they were seeing eachother. They did a room tour, got on the sofa and catched up on their personal lives. They were bitching on this new guy at the office who would never fill up the coffee pot when he finished it, when Charlotte's stomach started growling. They turned on a show Ted recommended and started eating.
"Of course it's a musical." Charlotte said when the main character started singing about moving to West Covina.
"Come on, musicals are great!" Ted argued.
"They're okay." She admitted with an amused smile.
She did like musicals, but right now, Charlotte was more entertained by Ted's investment in the songs and the story. When they finished their plates, half way through the first episode of the show, Charlotte decided to be bold and gently passed her hand over Ted's. He interlaced their fingers and Charlotte rubbed the back of his hand with her thumb.
Soon, he passed an arm around her and she gladly leaned against him. Both slowly getting more comfortable with the old familiarity of each other's company and body. Ted passed a hand in her hair and acknowledged she changed her shampoo, something more exotic than the strawberry scent of the one she used before. Charlotte took Ted's hand again and noticed it was smoother than it used to. He had started to apply a hydrating creme Bill recommended a few months ago.
"Charlotte?" He asked after two episodes of cuddling. "I miss you. And I really want to try to be with you this time. But I don't want to press you. So if you want me out, tell me and I'll be at the door in a second."
She takes a second to think, then untangled from their embrace to look at his face. "I don't want you out. I miss you too. Stay."
He smiled and answered, "Okay".
He kissed her forehead, she dropped a gentle kiss on his lips and they went back into the other's arms to watch the series.
After this day, they shared many other meals, cuddles and nights. Ted tried to join knitting to please Charlotte but wasn't surprised to find out he hated it. So Friday nights for him, became nights at the bar with Sam and Emma, sometimes his brother would tag along. During one of those nights, Sam and Emma promised to break his knuckles if he broke Charlotte's heart, and he didn't object nor doubted them. He heard from Charlotte that she had received similar threats from Melissa and Ted's brother. When they talked about it, they laughed and kissed. Ted thought about how he was now free to kiss Charlotte whenever they liked, and how it was the best thing that happened in his life.
