rise and fall
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Noah Kahan
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ojovivo

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Monterey Bay Aquarium
YOU ARE THE REASON
official daine visual archive
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DEAR READER
Jules of Nature
RMH
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

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Janaina Medeiros

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@sapphireofthefandoms
rise and fall
...hohooo
so i made and account on tv tropes and it asked for my relationship status
i went over and was about to put in “single” or “it’s complicated” and, well..
i can’t deal anymore
and the link……
Oh, this is remarkably of its era. I was just viscerally launched back to the specific amalgamation of meme printouts my roommate and I decorated our bulletin boards with senior year of college.
Eridian Welcoming Committee
@justcakethanks
@askthemountainstates
Every summer I forget how much I fucking love spiders I’ve drunk one every day this week
Drinking spiders??!
You put ice cream in a glass and pour soft drink over it. It creates a thick layer of delicious foam on top of a sweet, creamy drink with ice cream in it.
And yes I did attempt to get a picture by googling “Australia spider” like a fucking moron.
I think that’s called a float in the states. Although we usually plop the icecream into the glass after the soda. Similar effect though.
We wouldn’t be able to call it that because the word is way too easy to confuse with a floater, which is a meat pie floating in a bowl of pea soup. It is every bit as delicious as a spider though. I should get some pies and pea soup.
I would like to announce that this is not a standard Australian food, it’s exclusively a South Australian one and the rest of Australia is just as appalled as the rest of the world.
It’s not our fault that the rest of Australia is incorrect about food.
#WE HAVE SPIDERS IN AOTEAROA and they serve CUNT#im gonna steal ice cream from work this weekend and make spiders with it. i will steal the fizzy from work also#i fucking hate my boss
Living your best life I see
“average person eats 3 spiders a year" factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in South Australia and BADLY misinterpreted our survey question,,
it’s a beautiful day to check out a book from the library
its a beautiful day to return a book to the library unread after it auto renews 3 times
The library says thank you for boosting our circulation stats and the book will still be here later if you want it another time <3
I LOVE LIBRARY
WE LOVE LIBRARY USERS
My friend really changed once she became a vegetarian
its like ive never seen herbivore
i sighed so loud my mom asked me if i was okay and she’s two rooms away
MONGOLIAN CHICKEN
Follow for recipes
Is this how you roll?
yeah the human condition is to feel extreme positive emotion when seeing athletes win the thing they've worked their entire lives for even if it's not your team. how can you not be moved by the raw facial expressions and how all of them don't know what to do with all the emotions in their bodies..
Do you ever look at your pet and go holy shit that is a little beast moving and doing things of its own volition. In my home
I wish AI would stop making so many animal story posts. I LOVE animals and they are ruining the loving-animals ecosystem. And also the real ecosystem
The truffle hunting cat is AI, I’m so sorry guys
A trope that gets to me: 'guard dog' character and their partner who are both fully aware of it and honestly don't care/kind of like it. Someone says "call your guard dog off" and their partner does call them off. That person, their 'guard dog', is someone who is unreservedly, irrefutably loyal to them. Someone undoubtedly dangerous who is willing to kill, to maim, to obey, simply because of their love for one another. There's no manipulation involved— it is loyalty, brutal, dogged loyalty. And it goes both ways.
I am deeply offended by this! I was reading thoughts on what D&D classes the characters of The Mummy (1999) would be, and there was a comment that Jonathan was obviously a rogue, but either a badly built one or one with shit dice rolls. And! Excuse you? Jonathan is a perfectly acceptable rogue! He rolls fine when he’s actually attempting to do something!
In the first movie alone, some of his greatest hits:
Successfully pickpocketed Rick on their first meeting, without Rick so much as joining the dots until later.
Survives a pitched battle on a burning ship without a scratch, and somehow gets the key from a burning hook-handed enemy mook in the process. (“And did I panic? I think not!”)
Survives a pitched battle in the Hamunaptra ruins while drunk, through liberal use of cover and picking off targets at range.
Rolls a Nat 20 on his deception check to avoid being massacred by a large group of hynotised enemies in the museum.
Survives the final pitched battle with the undead (again, through liberal use of cover, hiding and running).
Successfully makes his intelligence roll to translate the Book of Amun Ra (with the Help action from Evie).
Successfully uses the resulting control over the undead mooks to even out the battlefield, including the genius brain move of sending them after Ankh-Su-Namun to both save Evie and distract Imhotep.
Successfully pickpockets a lich while being strangled by him to regain the key and enable Evie to use the book to banish Imhotep altogether.
Yes, he’s fairly flimsy in direct battle, and if at all possible refuses to get to melee range with anybody. So he’s a ranged rogue, and has a tendency to use the environment to his advantage. But he’s clearly designed around Sleight of Hand, Charisma, and a decent sprinkling of Intelligence, and prefers to use object interactions and battlefield control to even out his odds. For all that, though, he fully will stay in melee range if he has no other choice, and take the opportunity to pickpocket the BBEG while he’s at it.
He's a perfectly serviceable rogue, he’s just not optimised for straight combat. And even there, as the second movie shows, he’s excellent at ranged combat. He just doesn’t like getting up close and personal.
Actually, going back and rewatching that final battle again ... I don't think that Jonathan stayed in range of Imhotep because he had no choice. He stayed in range specifically to pickpocket him.
I didn't realise before, but this whole battle starts with Evie telling Jonathan that the only way to kill Imhotep is to open the book and read the spell to banish him. Jonathan says it's locked, they need the key, and Evie then tells him it's in Imhotep's robes.
When Jonathan sends the priest mummies after Ankh-Su-Namun with the spell on the cover (saving both Rick and Evie in the process), Imhotep is coming right for him. However, Imhotep is then briefly disabled by watching the brutal murder of his lover all over again, and Jonathan ... could have run. There's a beat there where Imhotep is completely focused on something else, and Jonathan absolutely has the presence of mind to use that, but he doesn't. Imhotep, now incensed that Jonathan has murdered his lover, promptly spins back around and goes to murder him back, and is only stopped because Rick returns the favour from earlier and saves him.
At which point a lightly-strangled Jonathan stands back up and tells Evie he got the key.
He fucking stayed put on purpose because he knew they needed the key, that Imhotep had the key, and that he was the only person who could fucking pickpocket the BBEG mid-strangulation and get away with it, so long as someone could swoop in before the undead wizard actually killed him. Imhotep is immortal and immune to damage if they don't do something about that. This is a fight of attrition they cannot win. And his sister told him what they needed to stop it, so Jonathan went and got it.
He cheerfully calls himself a coward, and then he goes and fatally pisses off a lich as a distraction, and then stands still to be murdered for it in order to get close enough to pickpocket the immortal pissed off undead. It wasn't that he took the opportunity while being strangled, he set up being strangled in order to have the opportunity.
Say whatever the hell you like about that man, but he has never once failed to do something his family actually needed him to do.
Given the movie's release date, it's not that he's a 5e rogue but not one optimized for melee combat, he's a 2nd-edition thief.
Medusa Nebula ©