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[saraborgstede]

I am still standing, and I am standing still. How do I find peace? I stand still. Peace is found when I stand still before an Almighty God, who holds my future, and my children’s futures’, and the whole world in His hands. “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 #faith #quote #instaquote #bibleverse #hope #amwriting #itssimplytuesday #encouragement #hope #write31days #parenting #wisdom

[saraborgstede]

The #kids #candy #haul from #Halloween 🎃🕸🕷👻 Which one would you choose? 🍫🍭

[saraborgstede]

One seriously excited Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. On a scale of 1-10, Zack is registering a 15 on the Zack Excite-O-Meter. It's 8:00 A.M. people. 8:00. In the morning. We haven't even added candy yet. #heavenhelpme #halloween #help #parents #scary #monsters

[saraborgstede]

I cannot tell you how many people told me this would not happen. I was told me this would not happen now. I was told this would not happen yet. I was told this would not happen this way. God had other plans. Watching Miracles Unfold #miracles #faith #believe #ontheblog #amwriting #write31days #holymess #parenting #adoption #fostercare #hope

[saraborgstede]

I’m incredibly stubborn. Call it tenacity, call it hard-working, call it spirited. Call it what you will, but really I’m just pig-headed and stubborn. Bless my husband. It used to be no matter what we were arguing about, I’d out-word him to the bitter ugly end, even if was something I didn’t care that much about. Thankfully I’ve softened some over the years. But only some. Bless my husband. It used to be no matter what we were arguing about, I’d out-word him to the bitter ugly end, even if was something I didn’t care that much about. Thankfully I’ve softened some over the years. But only some. I parent children who are working to overcome the effects of early abuse and trauma. We are so incredibly stubborn in our fight for these children. The battle is long and so very wearying. The enemy wears us down with Chinese-water-torture-like maneuvers of tiny, itty-bitty, day-after-day picks. We cannot let him win. The cause is too great when it comes to saving our children’s lives. #family #love #faith #adoption #fostercare #parenting #specialneeds #ontheblog #amwriting #write31days #kids #holymess

[saraborgstede]

Siblings of special needs kids sometimes get lost in the shuffle, but they deserve major recognition. A huge SHOUT OUT to all the siblings of special needs kids! They often sacrifice and give up so much. We love and appreciate you! 🙌🏻 💗💗💗🙌🏻 Parents often feel guilty for what they go through, but these kids grow up wise, compassionate, and strong. They are amazing. Read more on the blog @sara_borgstede #write31days #specialneeds #special #parents #parenting #adoption #fostercare #adopt #attachment #sister #itsaborgstedething

[saraborgstede]

How is bedtime at your house? If it's not all moonbeams and snuggles, check out #ontheblog today where I'm talking about our bedtime routine for kids with trauma history. #adoption #fostercare #specialneeds These are great tips if your kids have special needs, but many can be applied to all children. #morning #bedtime #parenting #write31days #amwriting

[saraborgstede]

I 💗 Zack's #fall picture! Except...only apple picking we've done is picking up bags at the grocery store. #holymess #lifewithboys #keepingitreal #real #apples

[saraborgstede]

Every test in your life makes you bitter or better. Which will you choose? #quote #instaquote #write31days #attachment #parenting #parents #kids #fostercare #adopt #adoption #challenge #faith #courage #hope #motivation #motivated #holymess

[saraborgstede]

It’s tough to describe the level of exhaustion I feel on a regular basis. This is how you feel when the life has been sucked out of you. Like the machine in the movie The Princess Bride, this summer of caring for my children with attachment issues has sucked years off my life. I am reminded of the newborn period when we first brought our babies home from the hospital and when we fostered newborns. No one quite prepares you for the relationship intensity. People talk about fatigue and lack of sleep, and total love, and maybe even depression. Those are all there, but there’s also also the invisible pull. When I feel like I can’t keep going, I am thankful for this promise from God. A fresh well of new mercies waits: The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23 #fostercare #parenting #adoption #amwriting #writersofinstagram #write31days #ontheblog #moms #adopt #parents #attachment

[saraborgstede]

Aaron, our son’s attachment therapist, is here at the house with us. He notices it takes quite a bit of cuing and direction from me for our son to get through his afternoon routine. “Have you considered creating a visual schedule?” Aaron asks me. Yes, we’ve done those in the past,” I answer while internally sighing and rolling my eyes. Not that I don’t respect Aaron and his advice, or have any problem with creating a visual schedule. We've had the big evaluations, know the labels and read the books. We used a book to create a checklist on a clipboard, so instead of reminding him to do things, like “Have you brushed your teeth?” and “Have you brushed your teeth?” and “Child, BRUSH YOUR TEETH.” and “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY BRUSH YOUR FREAKIN’ TEETH” (Would I ever say that? Sweet little me? Oh heck yes, I would. I just wouldn’t be that nice.) Instead, a parent is supposed to say, “Check your list.” and “Check your list.” and “Child, check your list.”and “FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS GOOD AND HOLY, CHECK YOUR FREAKIN’ LIST!” See how much better that is? Just, so, so, so much better. Don’t you love experts? So I told Aaron, yes, oh yes. We have done visual schedules, yes. I know he could see my burning enthusiasm. “It’s a dodge and weave with these kids, is what it is,” Aaron told me. “You have to try something for awhile, and then you have to shake it up and try something else. Nothing works for very long. You always have to be one step ahead of them.” No wonder I’m so blasted tired all the time. So much dodging and weaving. I really should be thinner. #adoption #parents #moms #fostercare #write31days #kids #foster #adopt #love #holymess

[saraborgstede]

My son’s attachment therapist and I are sitting on the front porch swing discussing my boy, school choices for next year, and how to advocate best for what my son needs. I’m so exhausted. This is a bone-weary exhaustion that runs long and deep. I go to bed tired and I wake up tired. When my son first came home from his hospitalization, we braced ourselves. I couldn’t get my adreneline up high enough to deal with his behaviors. I was already exhausted going in. I’m not blind to the fact that this therapy for my son is as much parent-training as child-training. We are good parents. We’ve been good parents for a long time. I am humbled. Aaron tells me, “Your advocating for him is just as important as your parenting of him. These are the two equally important jobs of every parent.” Read more #ontheblog @sara_borgstede #write31days #quotes #truth #advocate #standup #truth #instaquote #fostercare #attachment #adoption #nevergiveup #neverquit #amwriting #family #parenting

[saraborgstede]

I write because I cannot NOT write. I write because I cannot sleep until the words are in print. I write to connect. Why do you write? #write31days #whyiwrite #amwriting #writersofinstagram #writers #write #holymess

[saraborgstede]

Tonight, when my son cries for his birth mom, my heart breaks. He throws himself on the bed in his room and bursts into tears. “I miss my birth mom.” He often talks about his birth mom but hasn’t for awhile. “I miss her so much and I just wish I could spend one day with her. I love you and I love our family, but Mom, I don’t want to hurt your feelings, because I really love you, but I love her just a little more. Does that hurt your feelings, Mom? Because I love her just a tiny bit more. Just a little.” Are you allowed to lie to your own kid in these situations? I know the “right” answer, and then there is the truth. I think for a moment and then respond to him... See more @sara_borgstede #ontheblog #write31days #adoption #fostercare #faith #love #holymess #amwriting #mentalhealth #therapy #attachment #parenting #moms #parents

[saraborgstede]

We admire God's amazing creation. #Fall #leaves #familytime #walking #fitness #nature #westernnewyork

[saraborgstede]

Do you feel #stuck or like you're just not making progress? Maybe you need to give it a bit more time. "Even miracles take some time." -The Fairy Godmother #ontheblog #write31days #amwriting #wisdom #quotes #instaquote #disney #progress

[saraborgstede]

We are shocked when one of the first things our attachment therapist does is have us give our son more freedom, especially because our son has run away several times, but our new therapist teaches us how to do it the right way. Parenting is a balance of giving structure and freedom. He Goes to the Park. #write31days #love #parenting #ontheblog #amwriting #holymess #adoption #kids #lettinggo