Is the girl (22F) I’m (28M) dating a gold digger/scammer?
Below this reddit post you will see my reply. Enjoy.
Hey guys, I saw this girl on instagram who I didn’t know. I decided to shoot my shot and DM her. She responds and doesn’t really show much interest but she still responds to my messages. She later in the conversation told me that she was hungry so I offered to ubereats her some food. It ended up totaling to $40 with taxes/tip.
The conversation continues and I ask her if she would be interested in dating and she said yes. We were talking about turn ons and she says she gets “wet when people spend money/spoil her.”
She says she has a son but I don’t even know if that’s true. Lately she has been asking for so much money. She doesn’t have a job so she uses that as an excuse. We were getting ready to meet up for the first time a few weeks ago and I had already sent her over $600 through cash app.
I also sent her $200 to book an Airbnb for us so we could spend the night together and she took the money and didn’t even book it. When we met, I had to spend another $225 to book a room.
We did have sex that night for the first time meeting and she says she likes me and misses me when we aren’t together but she also asks for money all the time. I spent $700 on her ($300 on some Jordan shoes and $400 at Tiffany’s diamond store).
Since the time we first met two weeks ago, I’ve sent her another $1500 in transactions of $50-200 each time. When I say I can’t send her more money till we meet again, she says stuff like “I need the help. How could you do this to me? Why are you being so stingy?”
We are supposed to meet tomorrow and I just sent her another $200 for an Airbnb which she AGAIN took from me and didn’t book it like she promised. She already spent the money because she “needed it.”
I’ve asked her what we will do tomorrow since now we have no room and she said “we will be fine.” She’s most likely going to get me to book another Airbnb and spend another $200+ to do it.
Does she actually have feelings for me? I’m confused. We had sex and I got emotionally attached to her but I think she’s using me for money.
In total I’ve sent her about $3000 in less than a month of knowing her and I’ve only met her once. All of this money is coming from my savings ($50k) which I was going to use to buy a house.
Can someone give me some advice? What should I do?
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Hey guys, this guy saw me on IG and DM'd me to shoot his shot. He was short with me but still responds. He told me he was horny and wanted a sexy pic so I sent it to him.The conversation continues and he asks me if i would be interested in dating and he said yes. We were talking about turn ons and he says he gets “hard when women spoil him sexually" Lately he has been asking for so much sex. We were getting ready to meet up for the first time a few weeks ago. When we met, he spent $225 to book a room. We did have sex that night for the first time meeting and he says he likes me and misses me when we aren’t together but he also asks for sex all the time. Since the time we first met two weeks ago, I’ve sent him a lot of nudes. When I tell him no, he gaslights me and says I don't really like him and that I am being stingy and why can't I be more open minded, and what I won't do another girl will.Does he actually have feelings for me? I’m confused. We had sex and I got emotionally attached to him but I think he's using me for sex. He's only the second guy I have ever been with but he seems to never be satisfied sexually and I don't want to lose him. Can someone give me some advice? What should I do?
So she is doing what men do to women ALL THE TIME. It is on them to recognize game. Good for her being 22 & recognizing that all this guy wanted at least initially is sex & let's be honest, that's the only reason he spent a dime on her because he wanted to smash. She just flipped the script on him. He prolly only got emotionally attached because she played hard to get & was so elusive, that made him like her more. Come on, we have all been there when we wanted someone even more bc we couldn't have them. That's also toxic but most of us, including myself have been guilty for falling for this mind fuck.
On the other hand, people in the comments seem ignorant & inexperienced. There is no compassion for what this guy is going through. She gaslit him & said all the right things to get him to "put out" financially, sending sexy messages. She knew how to work him. He just never encountered someone like her & prolly never even knew women can do this. So just like the girl in the scenario above was ignorant, you shouldn't shame them for not knowing better. A lot of people have to learn these experiences only through experience because NO ONE tells them about the hustle. Weather is getting sex or getting money.
She is doing her just like the guy in my scenario was doing him. I am not saying either is right or wrong, it's just a dog eat dog world - especially in your twenties. Dating is a fuckin jungle out there, predators & prey, PERIOD. Who is to say that if she didn't ask him for a dime, he wouldn't have just smashed & gotten over her right away because she was "too easy"??? She is doing it right, in regards to protecting herself and getting what she wants out of the deal. bc if she actually does decide to commit to him one day, he will be on his toes bc he will know she will be ready to walk anytime & what another man won't do another will. This goes for the ladies too so it is important to be secure within yourself & don't let people hold this mental power over you. & that's another thing, he never mentions if he asked for a commitment or clarified what they were which he should have before they went to Tiffany's at least. But again, do not shame this guy for falling for someone that said all the right things. I guarantee a lot of you would fall for this shit in a heart beat if a young hot sexy girl or guy gassed you up. It is a drug, & she was the high, it just cost money. Like gambling or any other addiction.
Honestly, he should be glad that she even met with him at all. Let alone have sex with him the FIRST night. She is a trooper if you ask me. I know girls that get money from men all the time that never ever meet up with them.
So to answer the question, does she like you bro? She might, & she might just be playing this game to keep you chasing her. I say she might because you must be a decent enough guy for her to sleep with you the first night. Not all girls care but most do. We are not like men we are a little more choosy. She could have easily said that you guys can go for lunch & that's it. She let you book an air bnb. also, it is your fault for her spending the money on that. As a man, you should book it & she is teaching you that whatever money you give her goes to her & her alleged child. So don't let her handle those transactions.
If you really like her, & want the truth, you need to pull back. If she doesn't chase you there's your answer. Or even pretend to be dating someone else & stop giving her money, see if she gets jealous. If she does, then yes she had hidden feelings for you. You are 28, not 88. She doesn't have to suck it up to sleep with you, she did it because she wanted to. It was planned, hence getting the room. That is all folks.
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