Stiles Stilinski

[sarcasmandadhd]

Derek: Why are you like this?

Stiles: Bold of you to assume this is my final form.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Scott: We need to blend in.

Stiles: Got it.

Stiles, loudly: Hello, fellow citizens.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Scott: Please tell me you didn't-

Stiles: In my defense, no one explicitly told me not to.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Scott: You're smiling. That's never good.

Stiles: Oh, relax. It's only mildly illegal.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Stiles: I almost got surprised adopted today!

Derek: Stiles, what?

Scott: He almost got kidnapped.

Derek: Oh, ok.

Derek: ....

Derek: WAIT, WHAT?

[sarcasmandadhd]

Liam: I don't think anyone will ever be truly in love with me.

Theo: Are you sure?

Liam: Yes.

Theo, aggressively pointing at himself: Are you fucking sure?!

[sarcasmandadhd]

Scott: So, when are we going to tell him?

Derek: Just give him a minute.

Stiles: *Pulling a door that clearly says push*

[sarcasmandadhd]

Stiles: If I go missing, don't look for me.

Scott: What?? Why??

Stiles: Because I'm embarrassed about whatever situation I got myself into.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Derek: Why are you in my loft?

Stiles: I live here now.

Derek: You absolutely do not.

Stiles: Legally, you're correct, but emotionally, I'm subletting your place.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Scott: Guys, we need a plan.

Liam: I vote we panic.

Mason: Seconded.

Stiles: Already panicking.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Allison: I brought weapons.

Scott: I brought hope.

Liam: I brought snacks.

Stiles: I brought trauma.

Everyone: ....

Stiles: What? It's the only thing I have on me right now.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Kira: I think we should all talk about our feelings.

Malia: Why?

Kira: Because communication is healthy.

Malia: Sounds fake, but ok.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Stiles: I told you we were cursed.

Scott: We're not cursed!

*Car immediately explodes behind them*

Scott: Ok, we might be a little cursed.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Peter: I'm not evil. I'm just..complicated.

Stiles: My guy, you killed twelve people.

Peter: Complicatedly.

[sarcasmandadhd]

Lydia: I had a vision. Something bad is coming.

Stiles: Ok, but like..can it come later?

Scott: Preferably after pizza.

Lydia: It doesn't wait for pizza.

Stiles: Then it's truly evil.