Sassy Mjölnir

Sexiest hammer in existence. And the most opinionated. Total ladies' hammer. Likes: Thor Scarves Being sassy as fuck Smashing Bashing Crunching Bringing the lightning Fighting alongside Thor Being the most badass weapon Hammering the ladies Sif Thor's friends Most Asgardians Jane Foster Jane's friends Darcy Nick Fury Clint Barton Natasha Romanoff Bruce Banner Son of Coul Maria Hill Steve Rogers Tony Stark Pepper Potts Peter Parker Gwen Stacy Loki's scent Loki Dislikes: Getting left on Loki for too long Being stuck in the dirt The Destoyer Frost Giants Chitauri Tony Stark Peter Parker Thanos MC Hammer's "U Can't Touch This" and any references to it being "hammer time" Anything/anyone Thor does not like (including temporary dislikes)

[lidstroms-deactivated20240909]

He mourns for his hammer, yes, for his powers, but the way Mjolnir taunts unyielding in his hand strikes somewhere deeper, perhaps subconscious but vital all the same, and he falls to his knees, the loss so staggering that the tears fall uninhibited. His hammer is home, and all that he no longer has. Friends, his father, Loki. Close but forever out of reach, and it jars him to his core.

[buckybeary]

ϟ “You have no idea what you’re dealing with.”

[exarcadiaelux]

The more you know.

[sassymjolnir]

I'm not sure if he's calling me fat or is reminding you just what a feat it is to lift me, much less use me in battle.

[tony-fuckin-stark]

Thor de France

[rinjirenee]

THIS WHEELED HORSE IS ENJOYABLE, I LIKE IT

[deliciouspineapple]

THIS WHEELED HORSE IS ENJOYABLE, I LIKE IT

[odnson]

If he be worthy.

[sassymjolnir]

2013

Nice to see that the world didn't end. Who am I supposed to thank for this thus-far-boring year?

[cruciothelights]

shall possess the power of Thor.

[sassymjolnir]

i-am-laufeyson replied to your post: i-am-laufeyson replied to your post:...

You’ll simply have to wait and see, darling hammer. I can guarantee you will…enjoy…the attention.

Mmm, can't wait for Christmas.

[sassymjolnir]

i-am-laufeyson replied to your post: i-am-laufeyson replied to your post:...

Ah, lord smashing, I’m certain that if a good thrashing is what you desire, Thor will be glad to oblige you.

 Perhaps it was innuendo. Possibly. I forgot to italicize it. Your call. And I'm out of three guesses.

[sassymjolnir]

i-am-laufeyson replied to your post: frostgiantslayer answered your question: I can’t...

Mmm…a bit, dear hammer, since I’ve already given you one of those.

A good thrashing?

[sassymjolnir]

frostgiantslayer answered your question: I can’t be barred from receiving Christmas...

What do you wish for, hammer?

A trip.

 i-am-laufeyson replied to your post: manintheironsuit answered your question: I can’t...

A good waxing could be part of it. Guess again, hammerling.

Would it be too obvious if I said a scarf?

[sassymjolnir]

manintheironsuit answered your question: I can’t be barred from receiving Christmas...

…I’m going to regret asking this but what sort of presents would a hammer even want?

Good ones, of course. Some action. A good cleaning. An understanding of what it's like to be a glorified tool, which is something I'm sure you're familiar with.

i-am-laufeyson answered your question: I can’t be barred from receiving Christmas...

I’ve a lovely present for you, Hammer-dearest. I’ll give you three guesses what it might be.

A game? You do always know what I like best. A good waxing?

[sassymjolnir]

I can't be barred from receiving Christmas presents because I'm a hammer, can I?

[peterquill]

[sassymjolnir]

Hahahaha, NO.

[layofcastiel]

[sassymjolnir]

I have nothing to say about this.

[thorodinsons-deactivated2012122]

[sassymjolnir]

NO.

[sassymjolnir]

frostgiantslayer answered your question: Question

Do not to entertain such a notion. I refuse to wield a hammer with vulgar engravings.

Killjoy.