Move, I'm gay

Ty | 30 | Homosexual Gaymer, mostly SFW but that don't mean you won't see an ocassional dick or butt, trying to be more active on here but will likely go days without posting.

[foreverlogical]

[dogpuppy]

[crabanarchy]

They say ooooh be a good boy for daddy and you'll get a reward. But then the reward is just gay sex. This is bullshit. I wanted a skateboard

[crabanarchy]

Then they say if you're a bad boy daddy will punish you. But what's the punishment? More gay sex! You can't escape it. This whole damn place is in the pocket of Big Sex

[xtec]

"you're just fucking the hints guy for hints"

-guy who's fucking the save guy for saves

[urmumsbriskit]

Am I missing extremely important context

[xtec]

Sounds like you should've fucked the hint guy

[whydidisavethistomyphone]

[potatocrisp]

Gettin the good ads again

[reallyreallyreallytrying]

if i was in an alien movie i'd be luring the xenomorph into a hot wok and adding chili, garlic, ginger, shaoxin wine, scallions, white pepper and sesame oil

[theehorsepusssy]

[bruzum]

[kaylmao]

shh don’t worry catholics aren’t real

thank god. i mean thank something else

[dogpuppy]

[z-nogyrop]

imagine we make contact with an alien species that’s like, vastly technologically superior, they could fucking kill us in a single shot if they really wanted to

and this species has never eaten salad before. and we show them salad and they eat it and they’re like holy living fuck this is tasty. and suddenly they’re offering us huge houses with all kind of advanced technological shit and incredible medical care and all the amenities and everything, with the only condition that we keep making salad for them.

and like, salad isn’t even hard to make. grab some plants, dump em in a bowl. it doesn’t have to be fancy salad, they’ll fall all over themselves for the most mediocre salad in the world. we can make so much salad that we’re practically drowning in it, even if we eat some of the salad ourselves. and in exchange we’re protected from danger, we have great living conditions, it’s basically paradise compared to life on earth

imagine

[z-nogyrop]

now realize that this is what bees have done to us

[phantomrose96]

Hey kids, you need to start worrying a little less about getting “#mogged” and a little more about getting “#smogged”. This is an Air Quality Index public service announcement.

[the-acid-pear]

One of my favorite tweets in all of history. Always thinking about dick swinging out the bottom like a grandfather clock

[oneheadtoanother]

[64mpg]

everyone has parasites and nobody can afford a house

[angelicguy]