Sir Screwloose @saturn-itself - Tumblr Blog

has tumblr seen this photo that james ortiz posted of himself holding rocky because oh my god

that’s his real son that he gave birth to. grace better watch out bc james is about to steal the title of rocky’s number one fan

autisticlittleguy

So, unlike Eridians, we discovered fire very early on and so our civilization kinda grew up with combustion right? We've had thousands of years to normalize it and get comfortable with the idea of using it casually for warmth or cooking etc.

In contrast, Eridians had to discover fire in a lab since their atmosphere doesnt have O2 like ours. So they dont have, like, an entire culture normalizing fire.

> Be me. Rocky the Eridian cosmonaut

> Tell Grace about Eridian space elevator design made out of Xenonite. Grace very impressed, says humans only dream about making space elevator.

> Odd? Ask Human friend Grace how humans got into space. Expecting some high tech solution since science humans clearly know more physics.

> Grace explains Humans strapped other Humans on top of Fire-Explodatron-9000 machines made out of weak human metal, basically Eridian cardboard, then shot them into orbit. Grace say the fire it makes is quite pretty to look at

itsgonnabeoak

is this anything

voidsetup1

and out of the darkness - you you you you you

infernalfay

Imagine you meet an alien that's entirely blood and fat. Like all the white blood cells and red blood cells and lipids kept in your body are just out there. That's their entire body, a blob of blood jelly. Even their brain is completely fluid. They constantly forget things and don't seem to notice the connection

They see electricity, the same electricity of your brain. If something is not charged they can't see anything at all, and a room of non-conductive objects would be a complete sensory deprecation chamber. They can see a little bit, but they are nearly blind and only use it to notice sudden changes. If you flash a light at them they scream. Instead they just bring a device that generates a charge everywhere they go. They claim their whole planet is charged, but you have doubts

This apparently allows them to see secrets of the universe. They knew about the big bang through out their entire history, because they can apparently just see the beginning of the universe. They find it beautiful, but not all that interesting. You are jealous

Despite being in space, they have not yet discovered steel or had the industrial revolution. It's basically still alchemists and philosophers, but the alchemy and philosophy works and got them to space. You are no longer jealous

They rely on the temperature being way below 40 degrees Fahrenheit so all the fat stays solid and frozen, and die if it's warm. They consider you burning

They get all their energy from air, like eating, to the point they cannot hold their breath at all. They get other things from food, but refuse to prepare it aside from digestion. They just plop it in basically untouched

They age in dog years, dying a few months after turning 9, and only reach adulthood at age 4. That's an absurd amount of time to spend as a child. The one you met is apparently 5 and considers himself a mature adult. The tantrums say otherwise. Yes, he also has arcane knowledge naturally. You are more surprised they live this long considering everything else about them

They have 4 genders and assigned you one, maybe randomly. Kind of rude, apparently very complex, but they have no idea how to explain it. You aren't asking

You are an Eridian and have just met a human. You must now convince your mate to let you keep them.

callalillee

hollis-art

let's be pebbles and misbehave on our field trip to mr. grace's habitat :D

dudethatsmypillowcase

Two eridians and their wet dog

criiitter

i'd like to report a missing person

chimeraspleen

zipsunz

F I N D H E R

catasters

prokopetz

It's always a little bit funny when folks expect me to be shocked by weird porn simply because I don't post any of it on main. You need to understand that I grew up on an Internet where Doug Winger was considered a respectable face of the fandom community.

prokopetz

@sepdet replied:

no idea who that is but I sure as hell remember Elf Sternberg, and my was he a surprise for a gal who didn't even know gay was a thing that exists until college

About a decade back someone accused me of being Elf Sternberg. To this day I'm not sure what led them to that conclusion.

prokopetz

@the-dozing-cadent replied:

frankly, the fact that modern furry hyper artists aren't considered respectable members of the community is an indictment of modern internet culture

Well, yeah – that's part of the point I'm making. I'm not suggesting that getting randomly flashbanged by drawings of Lola Bunny with a cock bigger than her entire body scarred me for life; I'm pointing out that this sort of thing used to be considered eccentric but harmless. I'm not being ironic when I remark that Doug Winger was once regarded as fairly respectable by Internet fandom standards; I'm stating a fact. Where contemporary online culture draws the line between "eccentric but harmless" and "the Weird Shit" has retreated a lot since the 1990s.

(This of course has its pros and its cons – there's a lot of stuff that 1990s online culture saw as eccentric but harmless that definitely should have drawn a more critical eye! – but so it goes.)