How do you fall back in love with life?
clean your room. Ā clean space, uncluttered space, space that doesnāt have miasma clinging to it can work wonders. Ā clean the dishes. Ā sweep. Ā take out the trash. Ā peel the clothes off the floor and wash them, and then actually fold/hang them. Ā take a long shower. Ā scrub behind your knees. Ā brush your teeth. Ā (this can be utterly exhausting, but try to get it done in a day, if you can. Ā the end result is worth it.)
pull out your notebook. Ā it doesnāt need to be a new notebook, but preferably one that you donāt usually write in, or that you havenāt touched in a while. Ā fuck moleskins. Ā the yellow legal pad will work fine. Ā sit in your room, or in the park, or in the library, and write a list. Ā count clouds. Ā describe all the colors that you see, and note patterns that arise. Ā sketch the cracks in the walls. Ā note the shape light makes when it enters a space. Ā talk about what the air tastes like, smells like. Ā what sounds are there? Ā even the white nose, break that down: air planes, fans, cicadas, anything. Ā remind yourself that you are sitting in the middle of a space brimming with detail. Ā remind yourself that you are not in nothingness and emptiness. Ā your world is fathomless. Ā it has potential.
drink cold water and try to eat something that isnāt processed. Ā it does not need to be fancy. Ā buy yourself an apple with the change between your couch cushions. Ā eat it outside. Ā if youāre someone who walks, walk somewhere afterwards, just to stretch your legs. Ā take your fucking meds. Ā remember that its a good thing that you are inside your body. Ā your body is a fantastic and endlessly intricate machine, and even though society has smacked a bunch of poisonous ideas on it, that doesnāt change its inherent worth and splendor. Ā take care of it.
read a novel. Ā underline your favorite lines, and write phrases that twist your heart inside your chest on the back of your hand with an ink pen. Ā read a novel like itās poetry. Ā read poetry, something decadent but unpretentious. Ā watch a movie you havenāt seen before. Ā if there are free art galleries near you, walk through one. Ā take your time. Ā let yourself bask. Ā if there are patterns in what makes your soul ache, write those patterns down ā marbles arches or soot crumbling bricks or dandelions or descriptions of dresses or whatever it is, write them down.
your chosen family is important. Ā remember, they picked you as much as you picked them. Ā the love has no obligation. Ā it is given freely and it is given from a place of compassion. Ā you are not a burden. Ā if you need to breathe, take a minute by yourself and just exist, but remember to go back to your people. Ā when they need you, listen and be gracious. Ā always be gracious. Ā the universe sometimes remembers things like that.
listen to new music. Ā link jump on youtube or related artist jump on spotify or ask the chap beside you in the cafe what their favorite band is, and listen to that. Ā listen to something that you donāt usually listen to. Ā we tend to tie up a lot of memory with music. Ā we are falling in love again. Ā the soundtrack needs to be specific to that. Ā
allow yourself to indulge in romantics. Ā press flowers in old books. Ā play movies with subtitles and mouth the words. Ā dance in your room. Ā wear something that makes you feel good, even if you wouldnāt wear it in public. Ā write your chosen family letters, even if you hand deliver them. Ā write poetry, even awful poetry. Ā revel in its awfulness. Ā eat dark chocolate and when your chosen family want to go out, try to go out with them sometimes, even if its just to the market. Ā
