idk why i always flock to this hole when i wanna like write stuff but i feel like my tumblr is just an archive of one part of my teen years and now i’m 26. im 26 and i have had a hell of a summer with my mental health and for once i really recognize how bad my mental health is but somehow i kept it together long enough to push through insurmountable things. it’s weird being 26 and having adhd and ptsd when all my life i never thought i’d have those things or had experiences that stem from those diagnoses. i wish while i saw mutuals understand what they had to deal with that i had access to the same, but i don’t regret how things turned out or how i had to come to terms with it.
it’s just weird because i miss being naive on the internet about how adulthood would be or like dreaming to be an adult. it’s weird trying to do adult things like hold down a career when it was something deteriorating me. i wish i recognized so much about myself sooner than now but it’s hard to accept i’m on my own timeline and that it doesn’t need to align with others’. life is just in a weird spot where i’m taking time away from work to heal but i’m grappling with more existential questions about purpose and value in society. i’m sure i’m not the only one that just feels so weird existing today.
uh thanks for reading i hate being vulnerable on the internet bc it’s never worked out for me before. but all i want to do is just exist and be whether people see or not
