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i wanna go to hell together

(day 1: horror)

Duke: …So, is Two-Face like, B’s ex or something?

Steph: I think it’s more of a situationship? They still seem to have some feelings going on there.

Jason: Yeah right, and get accused of cheating on Selina? I think not. They’ve been dating for as long as I can remember.

Dick: That’s…strange, cause I’m pretty sure he and Clark are married. Big Blue gave him a ring and everything.

Damian: A Kryptonite ring. One that Father keeps in a lead lined safe with the rest of the alien’s bane. Besides, everyone knows Mother’s laid her claim to him already. Only a fool would interfere with such a union.

Cass: Talia and Bruce are about as divorced as two people can be.

Tim: No, you guys are all missing the point. If we want Bruce to have a partner, we need to pick the most profitable option for us. [ pulling up a PowerPoint ] Hear. Me. Out.

—-Later, At the Watchtower-—

Oliver: Bats, why are your kids inviting me over for dinner?

hootenanie

s/o to this skeleton babe from 1936

mr-ticky

This is a really poignant illustration of the seductive nature of glorifying war but that is a LOOK and she is SERVING it

johnbrownfunclubofficial

I've seen Death depicted as a card dealer or other sort of gambler, a guy in a suit, a farmer, a robed apparition, and any other number of things, but this? This has to be the best Death I've seen yet. An old seductress saying "hey kid, don't you wanna die in a trench for a government that doesn't give a fuck about you, just like your dear old dad?" This goes hard as fuck.

saint-batrick

"I used to know your daddy." kicks like a mule.

daddiesdrarryy

Harry: Thank you for inviting me to Draco’s wedding today, Mrs Malfoy

Narcissa: Yes, it’s no problem, dear

Harry: This is probably a stupid question, but who is Draco marrying? I haven’t seen them?

Lucius: You. You’re the fiancé. This is your wedding with Draco

Harry: Wait, what?

Lucius: There’s your officiant. This is your wedding ring. I suggest taking him somewhere far, far away for your honeymoon.

Narcissa: For a week

Lucius: Here’s some money, make it two

Draco, walking in: Oh! This is beautiful! Who’s having a wedding today?

bumblebybelladonna

Their mind breaking.

justtouchedawkwardly-deactivate

chris-lives-here-deactivated201

Tumblr law: Always reblog the queen.

bohemian-fairies-blog

If you don’t have this on your blog at least once, get out.

onlyblackgirl

A original meme.

ex-bookjunky

WHY HAVE I NEVER SEEN THE WHOLE MEME WHAT EVEN MY LIFE IS A LIE

shingekinoali

The OG of memes.

ohantarctica

OH MY GOD I’VE NEVER SEEN THE FULL THING BEFORE.

r4cs0

3mill+ notes and counting

gunsandfireandshit

This always fucks me up to think about

fancyqueencharlotte

@nika-spacejunk

cat-distribution-system

Im now picturing touch sensitive autistics just feeling a fabric and thinking. "Omg this feels like horrendous city planning i CANNOT wear this!"

littlemisspipebomb

serialephemera

Thematically speaking, the most important thing Terry Pratchett taught me was the concept of militant decency. The idea that you can look at the world and its flaws and its injustices and its cruelties and get deeply, intensely angry, and that you can turn that into energy for doing the right thing and making the world a better place. He taught me that the anger itself is not the part I should be fighting. Nobody in my life ever said that before.

moddeydhoo

More lessons from Pratchett:

Good isn’t always nice (i.e. sometimes appearing nice is a luxury you can’t afford if you want to do the right thing) (this refers to setting bones and fighting evil, not to being pointlessly horrible)

Evil can appear very nice indeed (watch out for people who smile while they deny your basic humanity)

People can suck, be rude and actively work against their own best interests, but personkind is still something we must protect so they can keep being wonderful in between all the stupid

“Person” is always a broader category than you think

It’s not about who’s best for the job - it’s about who shows up and does it

Be very aware of how you treat those in your power; you will be judged on it

Respect women, which explicitly includes trans women (with or without beards and steel-toed boots)

Kings: no. Hard-boiled eggs: yes

elkian

No one - not military leaders, not kings, not patricians, not gods - no one is beyond consequences or above justice

Addendum: those who think they are are often the worst of the worst

Kids understand more than we think and sometimes the best way to protect innocence is to arm them with knowledge, confidence, and skill

How you’re born is intrinsically less important and less relevant than who you make yourself into

I can’t put it into a pithy sentence but that bit where Magrat is like “let’s toss [Lily] off the tower” and Nanny answers with “go ahead then” and Magrat hesitates bc it’s easier to do something like that together than to make the decision alone… impactful.

Evil begins when we treat people like things.

24-7fandombrain

Miles, introducing his parents to the Spider Squad: This is my girlfriend Gwen, and this is my boyfriend Hobie, and this is Hobie's and my boyfriend Pavitr, and this is Pavitr's girlfriend Gayatri, and this is my second dad Peter, and this is Peter's wife MJ, and this is Peter's husband Miguel-

suzieloveships

Miguel: Brown! Morales?

Hobie: Sorry boss, I haven’t seen him since the last time I saw him.

Miguel: When was that?

Hobie: The last time I saw him? Was definitely the time I saw him last.

coloredcompulsion

keskaowl

tags from coloredcompulsion:

2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241

“Could you be the chosen one?”

“I am very much the guy who’s here.”

hungry-skeleton

Skeleton girlfriend who keeps locking your possessions in chests and guarding them with a rusty sword

hungry-skeleton

When she's losing in argument she falls apart on the floor and refuses to talk to you

writeouswriter

creeket

When you enjoy dialogue so much that you end up completely avoiding describing the places properly

writeouswriter

This addition is actually more accurate to me than the original 🤣

zoe-oneesama

Ziggy’s a goat, I don’t know what you expected.

Episode 45 Part 16

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Season 1, Season 2, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5

Ep 41, Ep 42, Ep 43, Ep 44

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memewhore

Penguin escapes killer whales by jumping onto a boat.

is-the-owl-video-cute-deactivat

Antarctic penguins (and most other Antarctic animals for that matter) are very interesting because they lack a natural fear of humans since, of course, humans are not a natural occurrence on the continent. It is one of the few places on earth where it is completely normal for fully wild animals to be comfortable around you. In fact, most react as though humans are just especially large penguins as those are the only flightless biped native to the area.

As far as this gentoo penguin is concerned, it was saved by a float of large yellow penguins also hiding from orcas.