[rathayibacter]

that pistachio completely sealed in its shell is scared and alone, like a miner trapped by rubble. you need to free it by any means necessary. get the gun from your dad's cabinet

[killue]

this world aint all cookies n cream little fella

[butch-king-frankenstein]

she bermuda on my bahama until I come on pretty mama

[despazito]

i can't stand these new fountain machines they dispense watered down piss

[gotouda]

at work the other day i was cutting up avocados and one had a tiny seed and i was like to my coworker “me when i have a tiny seed” and she said “i dont know what that means”

[sacred-portal]

[cannibalchicken]

[larval-tear]

perfectly preserved amber fossil of a fairy crossing her arms and pouting

[kushblazer666]

[swagdinner]

she touch my yippee till i yay

[swagdinner]

[catcrumb]

[spaceybread]

[catchymemes]

[cannibalchicken]

[no-more-dead-dogs]

my beautiful wife, severe thunderstorm warning, is texting me 😌😚😍😍

[greelin]

why are so many automatic soap dispensers so shy

[greelin]

come on, beloved… You know i am here….

[stuckinapril]

too many girls who like snoopy and poetry and healing. personally I never heal and all I think about is the flaming skull