So I was realizing I have a very specific image in my head when it comes to what the assassin guild uniform is and it’s basically something like this.
The middle one (Portrait of a Young Man by Agnolo Bronzino) is how I first head-canoned Downey.

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So I was realizing I have a very specific image in my head when it comes to what the assassin guild uniform is and it’s basically something like this.
The middle one (Portrait of a Young Man by Agnolo Bronzino) is how I first head-canoned Downey.
please tell me your headcannons about the silly old traditions and funny hats and gowns worn at the Assassins Guild graduation ceremonies (bonus points: Vetinari occasionally attends as a distinguished alumnus; differences for those not taking the black) Downey has to make a speech
I love this ask, thank you so much. <3
--
Downey has added feathers to the hats because it’s Downey and he believes all hats need a nice feather.
Vetinari: . . .I refuse.
Downey: It’s a single, white feather. Very stylish.
Vetinari: You can’t make these hats stylish. It’s impossible.
Downey: That will not stop me from trying.
--
First it must be said, I place most of my Discworld fashion firmly in the “anywhere from 1350-1650″ camp. Which means there’s lots of diversity but it’s all still very late medieval/early modern. This is a just-me thing though, as the books are all over the place with the fashion. There seemed to be a sense, in the early Watch books, that fashion went backwards (i.e. the more recent, to our mind, the clothes the more old fashioned they are on discworld) but that was quickly abandoned partway through the series and then it became a hodgepodge.
I still like the early modern feel and so am keeping to it. You can pry Downey’s stupid fucking doublet with its black pearl buttons and his slouchy hat with the Florentine “I’m very gay” feather from my cold, dead hands.
--
This got long so it’s under the cut.
"There were people who’d steal money from people. Fair enough. That was just theft. But there were people who, with one easy word, would steal the humanity from people. That was something else."
- Men at Arms - Terry Pratchett
Downey: Gods, can’t believe I have to make out with Dog-Botherer when we fight. Ludo: You know, no one is making you. You don’t have to. Downey: No, I’m gonna.
Gotta teach DB the art of smoochin’
I think these two are my favorites from Going Postal. And I think that Anghammarad needs some barnacles.
Just @ Lord Downey next time honestly.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 13/13 Fandom: Discworld - Terry Pratchett Rating: Explicit Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Lord Downey/Havelock Vetinari, the rest are canon Characters: Lord Downey, Havelock Vetinari, Angua von Uberwald, Samuel Vimes Additional Tags: Mystery, Murder, so much murder, Canon-Typical Violence, Mentions of Past Assault, in reference to the tactics of this one serial killer Series: Part 4 of coveting desperate things Summary:
Follow up to Mask of the Ordinary.
Six months have passed with little movement since the discovery of thirty-year old bodies. Downey is his disastrously curious self (and feeling terribly vindicated). Vetinari just wants things to be Sorted (sooner rather than later). Angua dreams of the day when she will be left alone. And Vimes desires to remind everyone whose bleeding jurisdiction this all falls under.
AND WE ARE DONE.
Obligatory excerpt.
‘But,’ Downey says, ‘you were going to tell me something?’
‘You know the Watch has a werewolf, right?’
Downey nods, oh yes, he’s aware – oh .
Vetinari, ‘ oh indeed.’
‘Ah.’
‘Yes.’
‘Hum.’
‘Quite.’
‘I knew I liked her for a reason.’
Moodboard: The Mask of the Ordinary/To Conjure a Man
@thiswaycomessomethingwicked is to be blamed (or praised for inspiration and writing those things. let’s use positive language here. praise them!)
Have both the blue (and more dramatic) and the red (and more warm) versions, because I couldn’t choose which is better.
Ah these are so lovely! I adore the sort of noir feel they have to them. William Downey, PI (and assassin). Also the creepy feeling really comes through.
Thank youuuuu ❤️❤️❤️🖤🖤🖤
Remembering Terry Pratchett on his birthday.
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 2/13 Fandom: Discworld - Terry Pratchett Rating: Explicit Relationships: Lord Downey/Havelock Vetinari, the rest are canon Characters: Lord Downey, Havelock Vetinari, Angua von Uberwald, Samuel Vimes Additional Tags: Mystery, Murder, so much murder, Canon-Typical Violence, Mentions of Past Assault, in reference to the tactics of this one serial killer Summary:
Follow up to Mask of the Ordinary.
Six months have passed with little movement since the discovery of thirty-year old bodies. Downey is eternally curious (and feeling terribly vindicated). Vetinari just wants things to be Sorted (sooner rather than later). Angua dreams of the day when she will be left alone. And Vimes desires to remind everyone whose bleeding jurisdiction this all falls under.
Obligatory Excerpt:
A few titters from the other parents. Downey smiles at them all. He could smile for days. The more their hackles raise the more pleasure Downey takes in the situation. Absurdity pleases him. Parents shouting won’t someone think of the children when he is doing precisely that is the peak of educational hilarity.
‘I’ll get straight to the point.’
I wish you would, the Master of the Assassins’ Guild does not say out loud.
Barnes, ‘Frankly we of the Committee For the Safe, Sanitary and Sacred Education of Our Children–’
Downey mouths the word ‘sacred’ in confusion. He makes a note to mock the committee name with Mericet and later, Vetinari.
‘–believe that the reforms to the science education at the Guild, if one may call them that, are nothing better than smut.’ Barnes colours as he says the word smut .
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Discworld - Terry Pratchett Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Lord Downey/Havelock Vetinari Characters: Havelock Vetinari, Lord Downey, Moist von Lipwig, Angua von Uberwald Additional Tags: Drumknott providing croissants, Werewolf!Downey, Angua and Downey being bros, Established Relationship, Pre-Relationship, Timeskip, Fluff Summary:
This is a story about Assassins, dogs and werewolves. Also about love, teaching, city, caffeine and a resourceful secretary. Not necessarily in this order, not necessarily all in major roles.
tl;dr - Downey has 2 Many Dogs (or just enough dogs??)
I feel like Vetinari spent most of his youth going “well this is unfortunate” whenever Downey was around. And he meant a WHOLE RANGE of things when he said it.
Downey just assumed that it meant the cove didn’t like him.
What Vetinari Says: Well this is unfortunate. What Vetinari Means: Downey please stop hurling projectiles at me whenever you see me. I understand that you might have the impulse control of a five year old but please learn some restraint. If you don’t I might be forced to do something drastic and neither of us want that - what are you doing? Downey put the book down. Do not hurl it at — That was a priceless book, Downey. Please stop. Yes I’m aware I’m a scag.
What Vetinari Says: Well this is unfortunate. What Vetinari Means: Downey is currently attempting to find a horrific pun-nickname for my given name to add on to Dog-botherer and this is something I don’t want in my life. Enough people literally don’t know my name and only know me as Dog-botherer or DB as it is. There’s no need to make the situation worse. Oh dear that’s the “aha I’ve figured it out” face.
What Vetinari Says: Well this is unfortunate. What Vetinari Means: Downey and I are now partners in our dance and deportment class because the gods have a twisted sense of humour and we exist only for their sick amusement. It seems the last four months of summer resulted in Downey growing a foot, becoming less spotty and decidedly handsome. He seems to be prone to roguish smiles and being suave. When did he become suave? Oh dear.
What Vetinari Says: Well this is unfortunate. What Vetinari Means: No Ludo you weren’t right about anything. Downey is deeply obnoxious and about as smart as a brick. If I were to ever end up with someone they will have grace, tact, reserve, a well cultivated mind, discretion, political acumen, a love of reading, manners, as well as a certain je ne sais qouis. They will not be loutish, debauched, arrogant, stroppy, daft, obtuse, prone to missing the point by a mile, no by ten miles, combative, frustrating, possessing certain features which it is unfair that they possess, no I’m not listing them Ludo, they are for me to know and you never to find out - Ludo stop laughing. Oh no, don’t shout for Downey that means he’ll come over and be loud and call me a scag.
What Vetinari Says: Well this is unfortunate. What Vetinari Means: Well bugger all of this for a lark. I owe Ludo ten quid and he’s dead so I guess I’ll uh leave it on his grave or something. Downey stop snickering. You’re far too gleeful.
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#for some reason it has never occurred to me that this type of dog exists in a puppy state??#i guess i just assumed they emerged fully formed from mist and moonlight
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