Latin Troubles @school-troubles-blog - Tumblr Blog

there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D

thoodleoo

homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do achilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon achilles’ player: *rolls a 1* homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend

earlhamclassics

Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do? Achilles’ player: I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even– Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake. Achilles’ player: How many? Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies. Achilles’ player: I fight the river. Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river. Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*

itsalburton

Homer, the DM: You spot your enemy in battle. What do you do? Paris’ player: I fire an arrow at him, ignoring his armor. *rolls a 6 for accuracy* Homer, the DM: You hit him where he has no armor, but in a non-vital area. Achilles’ player: Damage done? Paris’ player: *rolls a natural 20, gets a 4 point bonus from Rage* Homer, the DM: Lethal. Achilles’ player: Fuck…

thoodleoo

some latin student feelings

becoming the “designated latin person” in your non-latin classes and everyone looking at you expectantly when latin shows up

constantly justifying your choice of language to other people

when the ablative absolute sneaks its way into your daily conversation

floundering when someone asks you to say something in latin because most of your vocabulary relates to death/dying/murder/war

relating deeply to the existential ambiguity of the subjunctive

sounding like a pretentious asshole when you talk to your latin student friends and you’re always slipping latin references into your conversations

lesbianshepard

my fave greek history story to tell is that of agnodice. like she noticed that women were dying a lot during childbirth so she went to egypt to study medicine in alexandria and was really fucking good but b/c it was illegal for women to be doctors in athens she had to pretend to be a man. and then the other doctors noticed that she was 10x better than them and accused her of seducing and sleeping with the women patients. like they brought her to court for this. and she just looked at them and these charges and stripped in front of everyone like “yeah. im not fucking your wives” and then they got so mad that a woman was better at their jobs then them that they tried to execute her but all her patients came to court and were like “are you fucking serious? she is the reason you have living children and a wife.” so they were shamed into changing the law and that is how women were given the right to practice medicine in athens

autieblesam-deactivated20190506

Yeah, this isn’t some Greek myth story about a hero or demigod or something, Agnodice was a real person who actually did this.

thoodleoo

do you ever think about how relatable clytemnestra is

daedalusdefiant

thoodleoo

no punctuation we read like romans

caecilius-est-pater

NOPUNCTUATIONORLOWERCASEORSPACESWEREADLIKEROMANS

terpsikeraunos

INTER·PVNCTVATION·WE·INSCRIBE·LIKE·ROMANS

c-aesarion

I[NTER]•PVNCT[VATION]•WE•[INSC]RIBE•LIKE•ROM[ANS]

As likely found on a slab of stone in Thracia

accent-aigu

tfw you’re a merchant in pompeii coming to your friend’s house to make a deal and there’s a dog in the atrium

whitesunlars

Every time Trump says that “nobody” has more respect for women than he does I can’t help but agree with him. He is right. The Greek hero, Odysseus, also known as Nobody to the cyclopes Polyphemus, who traveled through dangerous waters and struggled for ten years to return to his wife does indeed have more respect for woman than Trump does.

celticprincewitch

Burn on ancient scales

thoodleoo

everyone thinks latin is a hard language to learn because it’s dead or because the grammar’s difficult or something like that but latin is actually hard because you keep accidentally summoning demons while you study and it can get kind of hard to do your homework when they’re all fighting over the soul you apparently just sold to five of them by mistake

latin-class-chronicles

Tag yourselves from the Aeneid, Latin nerds

#dido #maybe achates

thoodleoo

relatable deaths from ancient times

chrysippus: died laughing at his own joke

zeuxis: died laughing at his own art

aeschylus: stayed outside in his old age to avoid a prophecy that he would die from having something fall on his head, died when an eagle thought his bald head was a rock and dropped a turtle on him to break its shell

plato: partied too hard

empedocles: jumped into a volcano to prove that he was immortal

philitas of cos: was such an incredible pedant that he wasted away while studying erroneous word usage

saint lawrence: roasted alive during christian persecution under valerian, joked that he was done on one side and needed to be flipped over

didius julianus: purchased the roman empire in an auction, ruled for 9 weeks, executed for being ineffective leader

petronius arbiter: sentenced to death by nero, opened his veins while enjoying a sumptuous dinner party, edited his will to list all of the reasons he hated nero