all the text was plainly there. the fact that it was never explicitly stated jax was transfem was such an artistic choice. up until the very end, she could not accept herself, and she was afraid of what life would be like if she tried. staying closeted literally killed her.
the pink lamps glowing over her, the droplets radiating in hot pink lines, ribbits bow on her ear, the obvious internalized transmisogyny persona wearing the maid dress, stevie wonders song about his baby girl being born, just
god. she is so obviously a lady.
yeah, shes abusive and needed a serious character arc, and shes definitely not a good person. she made really bad choices once she entered the circus.
but her transness and how it Literally Killed Her was so beautifully handled. every little detail throughout the series built up to what literally killed her.
jax was a great allegory for how internalized issues can lead to abusive behaviors. i dislike how the narrative tried to breed sympathy for her actions and forgive her in the end, i really wish her abusive tendencies had been properly addressed instead of just glazed over with a sad backstory
and yet the concept of a trans woman failing to accept herself because she is terrified of facing harm and would rather die closeted was handled so miraculously. all the signs were there, all the potential was there, and it fell flat because she forced herself into that ending.
jax couldve been such a better person if she allowed herself to transition. she wouldve gotten support from the rest of the cast. i think she already felt too tainted by her own actions to risk reaching out and thought theyd shun her for all her wrongdoings, but i honestly think the cast wouldve seen the internalized issues and saw her transition as an opportunity to stop her abusive tendencies.
the fact that she chose to die rather than be herself, because she felt like she could not possibly be herself without getting hurt, was tragically beautiful. the fact that she chose to hurt people before they could hurt her, because she felt like her identity intrinsically meant shed be "punished," was tragically beautiful.
i think its a really good allegory for how trans women and transfems today are so unable to be their free selves because of the sheer vitriol and social pressure around them. so many trans women and transfems die before ever finding peace, and its because being seen comes with the unfortunate consequence of being punished.
