ɢᴏᴏᴅʙʏᴇ﹐ ᴍʏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

[meiselr]

Missing him feels like chapped lips and his name is the cold, bitter winter.

r.m | Excerpts #12 (via ibuzoo)

[dvoyd]

you’re a mess of good intentions gone wrong. you strike a match on yourself to keep others warm, and now the whole goddamn world’s on fire. you try to put it out, and you try so hard. the dam breaks, and the waters of your sorrow pour free. you are sorry; so very, very sorry— and you will drown everyone to prove it.

the hero who couldn’t save anyone | m.a.w (via dvoyd)

[scnja-blog]

roxacce.

Roxanne had only been a vampire for a few decades now, not nearly as long as most of the vampires she tended to run into. She had been transformed into what she was now during the Summer of Love back in 1967, and she was a bit of a hippie back then. She still had some of that mentality, going from place to place, not staying in the same town for very long, but it didn’t stop her from killing and being somewhat sadistic at times. As she was exploring the town she found herself in she was glancing every which way, checking out her surroundings. Soon enough her eyes caught a glimpse of someone, that seemed to be like her, or at least be a similar monster like her.

After a few moments she realized she had been starring so she walked up to the girl quickly. “Sorry I didn’t mean to stare, you are just extremely gorgeous. like honestly.”

          just as times have changed, sonja has had to change with the times. while she cannot walk in the sunlight, her current location proves to not be quite so bright all the time. with such a convenience she’s able to roam the streets as she sees fit, her continued existence a secret to all of those that could harm or control her, and she intends to keep it that way. 

          it’s an outdoor market the vampire finds herself at this day, sonja trying to blend in with the rest of the small population as she pretends to look over some of the fruits and vegetables for sale. truly, none of it holds any value for her, for her diet consists ONLY of blood, be it human or animal. when approached by another, though, she’ll feel her frame stiffen and a struggle within builds to keep her eyes their normal brown.

          ❛ —— thank you. ❜   she’ll pause, clearing her throat as control is regained completely.   ❛ is there something i can do for you? anything you need help with? ❜   sonja’s not exactly a native to the area, but she’s lived CENTURIES by now; she knows the lay of the small town well enough at this point.

[scnja-blog]

halfvampirehalflycan.

“Because I don’t know whether or not they feel like I abandoned them.” He admitted “I don’t know if my daughter will think of me as a horrible father just because I wasn’t there for her. I don’t know if Selene will blame me for not being able to protect her when we attempted to escape the purge.” I certainly blame myself. He kept that thought to himself. He felt like it was his fault that his mate and daughter were alone without him for so long. He logically knew that wasn’t the case, but his mind was insisting that Selene wanted to abandon him after not being around for so long. 

          ❛ they know, michael. you need not worry yourself with such... silly doubts. ❜   she envies him, truthfully, for his mate and child are still alive; unlike her own. but sonja can’t allow herself to look at it like that, for it will only strengthen any detest she might feel for the hybrid.   ❛ they know you did not abandon them. they’ll understand why you’ve stayed away for so long. ❜

[scnja-blog]

warringpeace.

She longed to hold her. Ilona barely even remembered that. The birthing had been a trial, taking her to the very brink of exhaustion. Some even believed that she had slipped from existence, her ‘final breath’ made as her daughter’s cries had rang clear through the hall. But Markus knew, and his vengeful heart had prompted him to whisk her away from husband and child. That is, until William was freed from his prison and she was awoken at the same time. 

Yet she found herself at the very steps of Viktor’s old fortress, and seeing her daughter there, alive…

                         “No, you were far too young to remember. But you feel it, do you not?                           You must, just as I am certain that you…you are mine.”

A tear fell down her cheek as well ( oh, if the other vampires saw her, WEAK in the face of her child! ), and she took the first step, then another, and another, until her palm cupped cool flesh.

                           “My sweet child. Sonja.”

She wasn’t sure if Viktor had honored her wishes. She’d wanted to name the child Sonja if they had a girl, or Ivan if they had a boy. Her husband wouldn’t deny her such a small favor; that she was sure of.

          feeling as if she’s frozen in place, sonja can’t even manage to bring her hand up to wipe away her tears, mind far too taken by the figure before her. so many stories of her mother rush back to the vampire, of how fearless of a death dealer ilona had been, how capable she’d been and how many werewolves she’d slain. sonja’s tried to live her life in memory of her mother, had made a name for herself when it came to being a death dealer. once upon a time, sonja had been known as the most worthy death dealer since her mother. until she’d gone against her coven and had found love in a lycan... the FIRST lycan.

          not even a nod is given when ilona speaks again, but another tear... and then another fall down sonja’s porcelain cheeks. and just as she’d been frozen in place before, she won’t move when the other advances upon her and cups her cheek. if anything, sonja leans into the touch, eyes closing just as a sob shakes her body and features twist in near agony; isn’t that what it is to go so long without a mother?   ❛ i’m sorry. ❜   ilona can’t be proud of what her child has done, how she’s SHAMED what was once their coven. sonja feels weak before her mother, but she won’t bother to hide it.

[scnja-blog]

MICHAEL — HALFVAMPIREHALFLYCAN.

scnja:

          his sadness is CONTAGIOUS, but sonja has had little practice with feeling with and for others; she’s been alone too long.   ❛ your mate has spent little time with her as well, michael. she was kept from your daughter, too. ❜   seeing him in distress is difficult, though.   ❛ go to them now. you have eternity to make up for what you’ve lost. ❜   but she doesn’t; sonja has no one but herself anymore.

“I’m not even sure if they want to see me.” He said, though honestly had to wonder why he even thought like that. He knew Selene would be happy to see him, alive and well, after however long it was since they had been separated. But his daughter… what if she didn’t want a father? What if she was disappointed in what he was like? What if she hated him? He didn’t really want to know what the response to that would be. 

          his skepticism towards his mate ( and his daughter ) in their desire to be reunited with him is nearly irksome, but sonja does well in refraining from showing it; for now. her jaw will clench, however, lips pursing as she tries hard to find the right words to speak.   ❛ — and why would you say that? if you truly believe your connection with selene and your child to be so strong, how can you doubt it so very much? ❜   her tone isn’t as harsh as she wishes for it to be, the vampire amazingly holding back still.

[scnja-blog]

SELENE — XPRODIGIUM.

   Could anyone blame the woman for her distrust? Not after the betrayal that saw her thrown, still screaming, upon a pyre. And what of the centuries following a miraculous survival? — all those she spent estranged and isolated, made witness to her Coven’s destruction and the near-genocide of her people. Indecision eats at the Elder  whether to label Sonja’s inaction a thing of prudence or cowardice. 

   It not her place to make that call. 

   But at Sonja’s inquiry, Selene’s brow lifts toward her hairline. “You’d prefer it if I bound and dragged you back to the Coven by the ankles?” It has been done before, once upon a time. By way of the old gods, snakes and martyrs and the grossly incompetent deserved one of two fates: death, or exile.

  Selene offers a smile without teeth, slow and curved and just a touch bitter. “Our former policies are rather…antiquated.” 

          truthfully, sonja had stayed away out of self pity and for selfish reasons. she was not wanted by her coven after what she’d done with a lycan, with LUCIAN, and knew her father to want nothing to do with her. why should she have gone back to them? even after viktor’s slaughter ( by the woman in front of her, no less ) sonja hadn’t seen it fit to return. her absence had ignited a flame that had found selene, and now here they both stand. it’s as alarming as it is humbling; the vampire hadn’t ‘died’ for nothing.

          ❛ no, i can’t say i’d prefer that. ❜   she’ll respond, words firm but spoken quietly, for there’s little reason to raise one’s voice in such a small space.   ❛ such policies i’m well acquainted with, unfortunately... but it is rather refreshing to see that new ways have been adopted. finally. ❜   it’s sonja’s way of showing her approval to the elder, though it’s not as if her word means much now after all that’s happened.   ❛ i take it you would like me to come with you, yes? back to the coven? ❜   there’s no use beating around the bush, no point in small talk; not when there’s so much more to be done. shifting her weight ever so slightly, the vampire straightens up, chin lifting in preparation for the answer to come. she’s almost afraid for what selene will say.

[scnja-blog]

ALEXIA — CAUTIOUSBUTFOOLISH.

Alexia was on a mission for Marius. He asked her to check out any of the nearby vampire safe houses and find the one’s with the most activity and direct him to their. The lycans needed some victories, he told her, for then maybe the vampires would consider a peace. She found herself at this one last for the evening, and it was where she was planning on resting until the sun went down once more. The door clicked as she made her way in. She had already marked locations of active safe houses, and knew this one had been tripped not long before, but they had plenty of patrols in the area that would need to stop here for the day. However, the fact of the matter was, there was nobody here. Her hand moved to her gun, confused at the sudden lack of activity. 

“Hello?” Alexia called “Is anyone here?” 

          warning hadn’t come soon enough for sonja to leave the safehouse before another vampire entered, thus forcing her to hide in the shadows. alas, her presence is noticed by the other, and she’d been foolish to expect otherwise. no threat seems evident, and it’s for that reason alone that she’ll slowly come out of the dark, exposing herself to a vampire that appears to be an ally.   ❛ who are you? ❜   comes sonja’s booming response, eyes an electric blue to show that fighting would be silly; she is still quite capable of defending herself.

[scnja-blog]

VARGA — FCRTYKILLS.

Varga had seen many strange things lately. Some wonderful, and some despicable. Three new elders had been crowned, the abomination Marius destroyed, Semira unseated from power and the Hybrid girl returned to her mother.

However, the young vampire never could have anticipated this. Sonja. Alive. But how? He’d been only a fledgling when he’d seen her burned at the stake, still a boy hiding behind Valka’s skirts.

“My lady….you…you survived the sunlight?” He asked lowly, his voice hushed and eyes filled with awe at the mighty woman in front of him. Viktor’s daughter.

          somehow selene had learned of the elder vampire’s continued existence, and thus had sought her out personally. being back within the coven is difficult for sonja, but it’s much easier to learn the way of things than she expects; but not the stares. the staring is what tends to push her into the shadows or to her own room, but not this evening. she’s overseeing the recruits, gauging their skill level in order to aid in training them with both varga and selene. 

          but she remembers little of varga, though the name is familiar. he’d been young, she remembers that, but it’s numbing when he approaches her and speaks. the surprise is written all over his face, and it nearly shocks sonja in silence in turn.   ❛ —— yes. ❜   the word is spoken softly, but she’ll avert her gaze down and clear her throat before going on; she mustn’t appear weak nor emotional. now is not the time or place for such things.   ❛ but i ask you not push me for answers as to why. i do not know myself. ❜   head lifts once more, lips pursed ever so slightly; the action is done out of habit. it’s what she’d used for her father many times over.

[scnja-blog]

ILONA — WARRINGPEACE.

                 “Sonja.”

The voice is soft, almost sweet, making her seem like a harmless woman. But those who knew her best knew that she was a prolific killer. One of the very first Death Dealers in her husband’s coven. Yet she carried no anger or hate in her gaze, her smile low, almost…sad.

                  “Do you not remember me?”

She doesn’t expect her to. Sonja was very young, after all. The idea of missing all of her daughter’s accomplishments was like a knife through her heart. But she did what she had to, and she could only hope that she would be allowed a second chance.

          sonja is at a loss for words upon seeing the woman before her. she remembers little of her mother, truth be told, for the woman had died soon after childbirth... not much to recall for the vampire. however, there’s something in the other’s blood that tells sonja just who it is, a SCENT that is all too similar to her own; she need not be told that the form before her is her mother.

          ❛ no, i do not. ❜   the only visual memories sonja has of the other are paintings on the walls that had been scattered around the castle they’d both lived in CENTURIES ago, but that is long past. sonja herself is supposedly dead, just as ilona had been, but the vampire cannot hide the tear that falls down her cheek now. it’s an overwhelming moment, though she can’t quite bring herself to step closer to her mother. who’s to say she won’t disappear? who’s to say ilona is even real?

[underworldsource]

[underworldsource]

Oh, it worked!

[scnja-blog]

MICHAEL — HALFVAMPIREHALFLYCAN.

Michael glanced up as her arms fell to her side. “She probably lived her whole life up to now alone, Sonja. She didn’t have her parents with her. I can’t even imagine the hell my daughter went through.” His eyes closed for just a moment, before breathing out. “I know she’s alive, but I don’t know her. She doesn’t know me. She grew up in a life nobody should have to live.” He knew he shouldn’t think like this, that he was lucky he had her in the first point, but he felt like a horrible father. 

          his sadness is CONTAGIOUS, but sonja has had little practice with feeling with and for others; she’s been alone too long.   ❛ your mate has spent little time with her as well, michael. she was kept from your daughter, too. ❜   seeing him in distress is difficult, though.   ❛ go to them now. you have eternity to make up for what you’ve lost. ❜   but she doesn’t; sonja has no one but herself anymore.

[scnja-blog]

EVE — NOMCTHER.

Eve had been searching for many hours for a secure, and safe place to settle into for shelter for the night. finding a place to rest had always been the more periless part of her exile. Her survival skills were laughable when it came to anything beyond fighting, and scrounging for food.

Perhaps separating from her mother so soon had been a bad idea, but she’d needed to get away–needed to protect Selene from the lycan packs that came after her every single day.

The young girl sighed tiredly, rubbing at her eyes in exhaustion. She’d hadn’t slept in a few days, due to attacks and being unable to locate a safe place to rest. She was hungry, too, to make things worse. Eve let out an irritated growl when rain suddenly began to soak the streets of downtown Pest, soaking her to the bone rapidly.

She drew her coat tightly around her person, trying to save her warmth when she suddenly caught the scent of a lone, vampire. On edge, she warily studied her surroundings for signs of deathdealers.

          she’s done well at keeping her distance from others of her kind, even those not her kind, but the news of a HYBRID CHILD has brought her out of hiding... somewhat. it’s by chance that she’s come across said child, but even then she’s careful.

          it’s late at night when sonja allows herself to come closer to the girl, but even then she’s cautious. to reveal her survival could stir up problems that the elder vampire isn’t quite ready to face and deal with yet, but it’s near impossible when she notices the other stiffen briefly. her presence has been noted, and the decision must be made now or never.   ❛ you need not fear for your life, child. ❜   coming out of the shadows, half of her face comes into the light, but sonja will pause there, electric blue gaze falling upon eve.   ❛ i am an ally. ❜

[scnja-blog]

THOMAS — NEVERPARTED.

                     “I shan’t.”

It wasn’t because he didn’t have anyone to tell ( besides his sister, that is ), but because she had a good reason to stay hidden. If the stories were true, and not all tall tales, her father would want her dead. He didn’t ask about the child, nor about her lover. He did, however, TENSE a little when she approached. Lycans were feared by now, thanks to a few renegades who chose to murder for sport. Whatever civil order existed under Lucian’s rule was tarnished, and any whisper of the word was enough for the villagers to sharpen their pitchforks. 

                  “Your secret shall remain with me.”

Thomas took another step backward, and then another. 

          relief floods her veins when he assures her he won’t say anything, but the relief is short lived. it’s a difficult situation in general, but as the male begins to step away, his scent is taken further into account. he’s not completely human, and sonja is able to identify it within seconds.   ❛ — you’re one of them. a lycan. ❜   she advances upon him, maybe too quickly, for she hasn’t come into contact with any of his kind in CENTURIES.

[scnja-blog]

JARETH — MOVEDSTARS.

       ❝ threatening?  ❞  a scoff, clearly offended at the words releasing from this stranger’s lips.  ❝ it seems we BOTH have a very different perspective of a threatening gesture, my pale friend; actually, i’m quite appalled.  ❞ mockery infuses his tone, the goblin king adjusting his portentous stance.   ❝ funnily enough, foolishness seems to emanate from you–as only a true fool would be dumb enough to talk down to a sovereign. ❞

          ❛ and it seems to me —, ❜   she begins, gaze averting briefly as a smirk comes over her plump pout.   ❛ you know very little of who i am. we may come from different worlds, but too am of royalty among my people. the next in line to become an elder of my coven. ❜   a brow quirks, for she though she is young, she is not quite as foolish as he believes her to be.   ❛ so i’d like to start over — i am sonja, daughter of the warlord and elder viktor. ❜   she looks to the male to give her some kind of name now.

[scnja-blog]

SELENE — XPRODIGIUM.

    Selene has met her before. In a time that was not her own, beneath icy waters and a swath of cloth like spider’s silk. Selene has met her many times over, in a place belonging to both dream and waking worlds. But this is the first they’ve had chance to speak in person, to confirm with her own eyes what the Waters of Var Dohr whispered only in theory. Sonja: lost daughter of the Vampire Coven alive and well, and not far from the heart of it.

       — Viktor has paid for his treachery many times over….

    Yet, it seems, those who survive him still pay most dearly for his crimes. She, of all people, should not have to linger like this alone. Like an outcast beyond the borders of safety, of belonging. 

     Selene’s head tips, considering the woman quietly when at last she lifts her gaze. “No.” She draws near, not as predator or as superior but as ally: slowly. Selene wishes her no harm, no greater ill will than has befallen her over these centuries. “I thought it best if I left that decision to you.” 

          the meeting between the two women is one to go down in the books, though no one else knows but them; it’s best to keep it that way.   ❛ why would you give me that choice? you are an elder now, are you not? ❜   her knowledge comes from vampire and lycan rumors alike, but sonja must continue to keep her distance regardless. thus, what she knows may be warped and incorrect. however, the woman that stands before her now is UNDENIABLY an elder, for she demands respect simply upon entering a room; it’s one reason sonja refuses to speak harshly to her for any reason. at least for now. after all, the daughter of viktor is, technically, the oldest vampire now.