(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this
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@noduru
(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this
After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.
Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.
I absolutely failed at doing this:
cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.
Hey op google what LCD stands for
i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs
not feeling very hundred emoji flame emoji today
well I am so 💯🔥💯🔥
0️⃣🌫0️⃣🌫
girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach
Yep, I'm a city slicker. Wake up one morning and your city's all slick? That was me.
this is how new yorkers @ mamdani
the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want
I think the 'Fruit Sniffer' will be big on here
Encounter: the ‘Fruit Sniffer’
wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude
We put glow collars on the dogs when we walk them at night, and it is Extremely™️ effective on Boswell
when i was a child for multiple halloweens in a row my costume of choice was “fancy lady” who was a character i invented who looked like this
“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that
“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story
“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do