Ay

fuck!

[financepigdotnet]

(violently jerking the steering wheel) my car swerves like crazy when i do this

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

After school care pulled me aside about my child dropping an f-bomb “without remorse” and I put on my concerned face and nodded a bunch.

Apparently he was building something with a younger kid “who really looks up to him and is just starting to make friends” and said “Hey, you’re really fucking good at this.” which is, in my estimation, really a parenting victory.

[tinyyellowflowers-blog]

I absolutely failed at doing this:

[tagfer]

cell phone doesn't like water because it is a combination of the other three elements. it is a rock (earth) that we fill with lightning (fire) that can control radio waves (air). if it contained water too, it would be too perfect; it would be like a god. to prevent this, the universe kills the would be uniter-of-the-elements. it's basic science.

[heronbrew]

Hey op google what LCD stands for

[tagfer]

i took an oath in third grade to never do drugs

[segamascot]

not feeling very hundred emoji flame emoji today

[palmer]

well I am so 💯🔥💯🔥

[segamascot]

🧯💨

[palmer]

0️⃣🌫0️⃣🌫

[saltoncity]

girl is that a knife in your hand or are you jerking off your sharp detachable penis in my stomach

[elliespectacular]

Yep, I'm a city slicker. Wake up one morning and your city's all slick? That was me.

[sailermoon]

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

[sailermoon]

[qqchurch]

[tooies]

the clock app always picks the numbers for you but in calculator the numbers can be anything you want

[my-dailydreams]

[chestnutroan]

I think the 'Fruit Sniffer' will be big on here

[randomencounters]

Encounter: the ‘Fruit Sniffer’

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[teamhawkeye]

We put glow collars on the dogs when we walk them at night, and it is Extremely™️ effective on Boswell

[inthesensethat]

[pokemonstadium2]

when i was a child for multiple halloweens in a row my costume of choice was “fancy lady” who was a character i invented who looked like this

[soulren]

“Ghosts are real” I can see how you could believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real” it’s very fair and rational that you believe that

“Ghosts aren’t real anymore” I’m about to hear a poem or very sad story

“Ghosts aren’t real yet” the fuck are you going to do

[babushkaat]

[babushkaat]