Part 7. The hockey players and the madonna complex.
Hi, I'm back for another week and today I'm not going to talk about wags, but I'd like to tell you something that I've been thinking about for several days, it's related to the topic of women, I came up with a theory talking to a friend, I still have many doubts and of course I would like to know your opinions on the subject. Before I start I want to tell you that this is just out of curiosity, in part I am basing myself on many things that have been said here on tumblr so take everything I say with a grain of salt, I am just a psychology student who Many doubts arise and many theories arise, at no time do I have the intention of offending anyone or insulting or speaking ill of anyone, I only seek to share the things that suddenly come to my mind.
Basically I want to talk to you about how I have the theory that hockey players (or well, many men in general) have the Madonna complex, don't worry if you don't know it, I'll explain it to you later.
How did this thought arise?
Putting a little context of why I relate this theory, a few days ago as I mentioned I was talking to a friend who also likes hockey, her favorite player is Mat Barzal and she has clearly seen all the rumors that circulate here about his reputation with women, the islanders I think they had just arrived in Boston and fans went to meet them at the hotel, one of the fans had the opportunity to meet Barzal and told her experience on twitter and mentioned something like it had been very nice, he takes his time to talk with the fans, they talked for about 10 minutes, one of the friendliest of the team, he usually remembers you if you run into him on more than one occasion, basically she said that she had a very pleasant experience meeting him, and previously i have heard before very similar experiences from fans where they say that Mat is a very nice person and gets along very well with the fans.
Today while we were watching the game of the NY Islanders against the NJ Devils my friend sent me a link that I will leave you below in case you are interested in reading it so that you understand more what I am talking about, where someone who work for the isles organization says that after doing the media interviews, in the last game of the Isles which I think was against Columbus if I'm not mistaken, Barzal was the last to leave since one of the girls who worked within the organization had commented that it was her last day working for the team, to which he wanted to stay until after finishing to say goodbye to her and thank her for all the work and effort she had done for the team.
After seeing all this, my friend wondered how a person with a "bad reputation" could be like that, and the truth is that I also kept thinking. This is not limited to just talking about Mat Barzal, but hockey players in general, since they have more or less the same reputation. My friend and I also wondered how they can have certain attitudes towards certain women and certain attitudes towards others, and the truth is that at first I didn't understand it either until I remembered this information I saw a while ago, about the madonna complex.
Now what is the Madonna complex?
And to be clear, when we talk about the Madonna-whore complex, we're not talking about that Madonna…The Madonna Whore Complex shows us a dichotomy, designed under the assumption that those women who deserve respect, wives or mothers, the Madonnas or "Saints", are not seen as sexual beings. While those who are sexually desired are promiscuous, embarrassing and sinful, the "Whores". These concepts under the understanding that a woman cannot present herself with both qualities, she must be classified in one or another box because it does not show the possibility of conceptualizing a woman beyond these two categories. In Italian "Madonna" refers to the Virgin Mary, that holy, maternal, pure and beloved woman.
This idea was theorized by Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, in the early 1900s through psychological studies of sexuality. Freud puts forward the idea that many men had difficulty respecting a woman in whom they could see their sexual desires reflected, while they were not attracted to one they loved or respected.
“Freud argued that the Madonna–whore complex is caused by oedipalcastration fears which arise when a man experiences the affection he once felt for his mother with women he now sexually desires. In order to manage this anxiety, the man categorizes women into two groups. Women he can admire and women he finds sexually attractive. Whereas the man loves women in the former category, he dismisses and devalues the latter group.”
I am not going to go into many details regarding the development of the theory but if you are interested in knowing more about it I will leave you with different sources at the end where you can read a little more about it, and understand a little more about the point I want to get to and if I get there to find some study I will also leave them at the end.
Basically the madonna complex says that the man categorizes the woman into two sections she is pure or she is a whore, he cannot see the pure woman with sexual desires but he cannot respect the woman who openly expresses her sexual desires. and you will wonder how all this is related, this is where my theory comes from, I started thinking about the concept of this complex and personally it made me logical, we could say that in this case the fans are "Madonna" I don't mean that they literally see them as pure and chaste, what i'm trying to say is that representatively they would be giving them this role by putting them as that stereotype of "purity", adding that in the end they are the ones who consume the sport and who contribute to them being paid and blah blah blah which reflected their "good" attitude towards them being friendly and very good people, compared to the women with whom they express their sexual desires, being women who share these desires are not seen with respect in the eyes of them, which in the same way represents the attitudes that they express towards them after satisfying those needs, which leads to the bad experiences recounted by the women themselves.
And that is what my theory consists of and for me it makes sense, I don't know for you tell me what you think, you agree, you don't, maybe none of this is true and I only see things where there are none, you tell me, I hope you like this post and make you think, again I'm not looking to offend anyone just open our minds a little more and the panorama of what we know, and I know many will tell me, girl, freud's theories have already been disqualified by many experts, believe me I know, as I told you, I am a student of psychology, but they are theories that are still present in society and although they are disqualified, I think it is not bad to know them either just to know the different theories that at some point have constituted this science.
And beware, this is not only applicable to hockey players, but I think it can help us to reflect on how society is working today, I use the players as an example because otherwise we will never finish talking about the subject with the infinity of examples where we could apply it, I believe that we all have positive and negative aspects and our environment is the one that decides which to focus on, my recommendation is always to question everything you see, do not believe everything you see on the internet, and then give us respect among all, above all. Next week I will be back with Wags I still have some things that I would like to talk about them, maybe I will put this on the list of wags I still have not decided.
I repeat as I said above I leave here the post that I mentioned that I read about Barzal in case you are interested in going into more context about that, and I also leave you some sources that speak in detail about the Madonna Complex.
Mathew Barzal showing on-, off-ice maturity late in Islanders’ trying season — Kevin Kurz, The Athletic
Definition of the Madonna complex according to APA
The "Madonna-Whore complex" and retroactive jealousy
The Madonna whore complex puts women un danger
Madonna whore complex- PennState
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