a message to subs, from a domme
since joining the community, i’ve had a lot of subs messaging me asking me to indulge their fantasies. some dom(me)s are bothered by this. some dom(me)s love it. i admit, sometimes i even indulge a bit when i’m feeling too horny or needy to help myself. i’ve found playing with subs to be fun, a lot of the community to be great, and i’ve found myself feeling not so alone.
but there’s something really important that i’ve realized a lot of subs don’t know, or don’t think is true.
you’re allowed to have limits.
even if you’re inexperienced. even if you want to submit fully to a domme. even if you are willing to try anything once.
it hurts me when a sub will message me and i’ll ask them about their kinks, and they’ll say something like “you can do absolutely anything to me.” and i’ll pry more and say no, what do you like? and they’ll insist that they like whatever you like.
subs, hear me out: you’re allowed to have favorite kinks. you’re allowed to have kinks you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. you’re allowed to experiment. you’re allowed to admit you’re unsure of something your domme is requesting of you. why? because a true d/s relationship consists of:
mutual respect. love. affection. communication. tenderness. aftercare. vulnerability. trust.
i had a sub tell me that some dommes get angry when a sub has limits. i’m here to tell you: these dommes are not real dom(me)s.
a real dom(me) isn’t in it for themselves, they’re in it give you exactly what you love most. they’re there to make you feel everything you’ve ever dreamed of. they’re there to comfort you, support you, and allow you to be completely yourself.
they are NOT supposed to disrespect you for not liking something. they are NOT supposed to ignore safe words. they are NOT supposed to judge you for being unwilling to try something. they are not supposed to treat you like you don’t have a brain or a heart. it’s one thing to call your sub a dumb fucktoy in the bedroom, and it’s another for a dom(me) to genuinely treat a sub like they mean nothing.
subs are not nothing. they are rare. beautiful. vulnerable. and above all, brave.
so to all my lovely subs out there,
do not let a dom(me) treat you like your limits and sexual preferences do not matter. remember that a d/s relationship is about mutual respect. being equals. know what kinks you like, or what you want to try, or what you aren’t interested in. it’s okay. and i love you. 🥺
janainaart
theartofmadeline
areudirty
yousharknotpass
pixelskylines
gummygunk
annaxmalina
