His words were simple and small though they rang true, and she could swear that his enchanting voice rang throughout the field around them. How was it that their world was falling apart a little over a week ago and now everything was different? How was it that things have changed so rapidly? A few days ago he was almost afraid to touch her, a few days ago she was fearful of him never forgiving her and leaving her behind. How have they come to this point? Here they stood, hand-in-hand, one signature away from being husband and wife. The part of her that worried constantly, the anxious child that still kicked and screamed inside of her, feared that in the very last moment everything would explode. That in the very last moment before the ink was left to dry, he would regret his decision and decide that love and obsession were two different things, that he held no love for her as she once had believed.
She had believed herself to be his muse, thought that his love for her ran no deeper than any teacher with their student. Such a thought had broken her heart, caused an anguish in her that she had never properly expressed to him and feared she would feel forever. And even more so, she worried that the last night at the opera house would repeat itself, that the little world they created together on stage would once more come alive between them in this field only for them to be surrounded by police and her former fiancé, everything about to come crashing down. But there were no guns, there were no whistles, there was no one but him.
When he leaned in to kiss her softly, it felt different, as if their minds were connected as one. They had kissed plenty of times since their first kiss, each of them passionate and meaningful. Each kiss was as if it was like the first and the last, though this one felt heavier somehow. This was not just a kiss between lovers, this was a kiss between husband and wife, it was the first kiss that would start the rest of their lives, the one that signified that against all odds they had found each other and won. No the path had not been easy, the journey here had been filled with so much pain but she would do it all again and risk everything just for this chance to be with him.
And as he kissed her, she raised a hand that now adorned a simple wedding ring, caressing his mask as though she could convince herself that he would be able to feel it on his warm skin beneath it. She loved him so dearly she thought perhaps no one in the world had ever loved another person as much as she loved him, as if God himself had created the concept of love just for them, a beautiful thing made of stardust and music that they could hold in their hands and keep close to their hearts, in hopes that they would never be parted. If she had it her way, they would never be apart again.
She watched him kneel down to sign the contract, feeling a sense of pride swell in her stomach as he signed his newfound name. She thought it a fitting for him, since she believed his face to be even more beautiful than her own because it was his face, because it was the face of the man that had stolen her heart. And when it was her turn, her heart was beating rapidly, so hard she thought it might break her ribs. With one signature, everything would change. But of course, everything had already been changed hadn’t it? Their lives were changed permanently the moment she put her hand in his own and asked him to take her away from everything she knew, their lives had changed permanently when she accepted his proposal, their lives have changed forever the moment they crossed paths with each other for the very first time.
But perhaps the feeling she felt inside of her wasn’t change, but permanence. Once she wrote her name down, she would be his forever and no one can change that, not even someone from Paris, someone from her old life that would perhaps want her back, nothing could change this. Once they belong to one another, as true in law as they did in heart, nothing and no one could separate them ever again. It was a knowledge she kept deep in her heart as she took the quail in hand, her stomach flipping excitedly and hopefully. As she knelt down beside the contract as well, signing her name in beautiful delicate letters, each letter seeming to be a scratch closer to truly never having to say goodbye to him again. And the second the last letter of her name was signed, she knew their life together was real. He was her husband and she was his wife, they were married, and she didn’t think she could possibly be happier if she tried.
When he said he hoped it was everything she wished for, she couldn’t help staring at him, didn’t he know how perfect all of this was? She sat on her knees beside him, reaching out to hold his face with both hands “It was everything I wanted because you were here, because it’s you that I married. We could’ve been in a barn and wearing rags and I would’ve been the happiest and luckiest woman in the world, because I am loved so wonderfully by you,“ she said, her smile bright and her skin buzzing almost. When he handed the glass to her, she lowered to sit properly on the ground beside him, taking it in her hand. “ I see all the beauty in the world in it,“ she promised him. “I married the love of my life under the stars, he took me by the hand and promised that I would never lose him or his love. What could possibly be more beautiful than that? What could possibly be more beautiful than a life with you? My love I don’t care how small or how extravagant a ceremony may be, just as I don’t care how long and painful the journey here may have been. The only thing that matters to me is that at the end of the day, you’re mine and I’m yours,“ she said, reaching up to gently hold his chin for a minute, smiling at him.
“Dear Lord… How did I become so beautifully lucky? To be so dearly loved by such an angel… I think perhaps I dreamed you up once and you crawled right out of my mind, to save me from my sorrows. I didn’t know I could love you more than I did yesterday, or the day before. But I know that I do now, and then I will love you more each day for as long as we live, until the meaning of the word love has changed completely, though I know that no woman has ever loved a man as much as I love you and no one ever will,” she said.
At his words she smiled even brighter, sipping from the glass he had given her “What greater gift could you possibly have for me? I already have you. Though I wouldn’t say no to a gift from my husband,” she teased, though truly she just wanted to use the word husband out loud, as if it made it more real somehow.
The world had flipped on its axis, hadn't it? This was another life, a storybook on the shelf. Was this even reality? Had nature ever seemed so beautiful? Had the moon ever shined this brightly? No, perhaps not. Perhaps the world itself was bowing before the magic of this night. Their wedding night. In a few hours time, the sun would rise in a symphony of colors and their life together would begin. Erik had no idea what that life would look like. In all of his fantasies, he hadn't ever dreamed of actually getting to this moment. She had signed herself away to him, no going back now. He couldn't help the small smile into his wine glass. He had been wrong before - this was the point of no return. Now she was stuck with him forever... Why was that exciting and frightening and comforting all at the same time?
Husband. The word he hadn't quite grasped yet. He had never thought of himself as a husband - that would have meant he had given himself thought in the first place. But that word off of her lips... It felt good. Like throwing another log into the fire in his heart. Erik decided in that moment that he quite liked that word. Husband. He could hear that word off of her lips forever... "You see, I wanted to give you a wedding gift. I know we don't have much right now, but I wanted you to have something private. Something that was just yours, just for tonight." He had thought of it the other night, after they had checked out of the inn and continued on their journey. He elegantly finished off the rest of his wine and leaned back onto his hands, looking up at the moon. Why did this make him so nervous? ...Perhaps because he hadn't done this for her in such a long time...
Erik carefully watched the moon, took a breath, and began to sing. "I en evighet levde jag som om du inte fanns I alla drömmar var du ändå nära så underbart nära. Och jag trodde jag fann dig men du var någon annanstans. Varenda gång jag funnit nån så såg jag att drömmen inte var sann. Tänk alla famnar jag lämnat av längtan till dig. För jag trodde att du fanns och väntade mig alla dagar jag vandrat så sorgsen och trött. För att möta den vackraste människa jag någonsin mött."
He didn't know much Swedish, but he had heard the song some time ago. It was usually sung a bit faster, with accompaniment, but he did the best he could do. He knew of her life before the opera house, though not much. He knew a rough translation of the lyrics, but his grasp on the language was only fundamental. He sung of how he thought she was a dream at first, and even when he thought he had her, she wasn't his. How he waited, and how heaven opened itself when she allowed him into her life. Now that they were together, it was better than he ever dreamed. He hadn't sung to her in such a long time... Not since that first night he brought her to his home.
And yet she always sung for him, always for other people. He wanted to give her this - he had learned a song just for her. "Det var enkelt och vackert du sa att du väntat mig. Jag kunde ana att det fanns en himmel på jorden jag såg den. Och du bad mig att leva mitt liv alltid nära dig. Jag följde dina steg och allt jag någonsin drömt om fanns där för mig..."
He let the song end quietly. That's why he picked it - there was no crescendo, no high note, nothing glamorous or special really. But it was truly how he felt about her and what he wished for their lives - to be a quiet, private sort of beautiful. Something that they could share for the rest of their lives. He let his eyes fall to his lap, smiling sheepishly. "I know it's no replacement for home... But I wanted you to know how much I care for you. I hope my Swedish wasn't too awful." He shot her a look, hoping she'd take his words in jest. He wanted her to know that she mattered to him - not just because she was beautiful or because of her voice. He sang to her this way because he wanted to feel like home to her. Even if they were so far from anywhere either of them had called home, even though they were the only survivors of their bloodlines - He wanted this to feel like home.
