SCP dragon

i am 25, my blog is not nsfw. icon and header made by @justlgbtqthings. i use a tag of "rare post" or "legendary post" often. no queue I dont have the energy.

[the960writers]

Welcome new followers who do not quite look like porn bots.

A word of advice: If you only hit the Like heart, your blog appears to be empty and your tumblr experience will not be good. Because people will block you.

I will block you.

Get reblogging, fill your blog. This is how it's done here.

[flashysparklesonthewater]

If for whatever reason you don't feel comfortable reblogging yet, literally just make one single text post saying something like "hey I'm new to tumblr and still figuring out the culture! Not a bot, pls don't block me." An empty blog is an instant report spam.

[findingfeather]

sorry about this guys, but very much this. i have discovered that if you MISS blocking a porn bot this often results in like five times as many of them and the morning "oh god another one" process becomes much worse, so I'm straight up doing "hrm no posts WELP - "

[autistichollander]

i think im being put down tomorrow?????

[kaijuerotica]

noooo absolutely not. anyway get in the car we got mcdonalds and are going to see the ocean

[the-semicolonoscopy]

It’s Pride Month Eve, so leave out some milk for Freddie Mercury and his cats.

[the-semicolonoscopy]

Time for the annual Pride Month reblog of Freddie Mercury and his fabulous cats!

[thejusticethatissocial]

flesh flesh flesh flesh flesh flesh flESH FLESH FLESH FLESHFLESHFLESH

[homunculus-argument]

My dash is full of struggling writers rn.

[steampunkforever]

I would still use my turn signals in the Mad Max Wasteland. They'd call me "Signal" because I'd hit my blinker before ramming the enemy hot rods into the side of a desert ravine. I'd use my turn signal every time. They would respect me for this.

[kraken17]

"That is Signal, the Last Follower of the Old Law."

[penandinkprincess]

cackling about the idea of the ottawa team doing challenges for social media because shane's first question would be, "how many did rozanov get?" and ilya's first question would be, "how many did my husband get?" because they want to beat anyone, but they ESPECIALLY want to beat each other

which means that over time, new challenges for each of them get prefaced with, "and your husband has not gone yet" or "your husband got X" because it is a GIVEN that they're going to want to know how the other did so they can try to beat him

and it's really just another point of evidence that at NO POINT did either of them ever consider letting the other person win ANYTHING

you think the motherfuckers locking the FUCK in to catch the most ping pong balls blindfolded are going to let the other win a deciding match for the cup?? be SO fucking for real

[penandinkprincess]

cackling about the idea of shane and ilya getting separated on the bench from time to time and the public thinks "oooh, trouble in paradise? the rivalry rearing its head again?? hollander getting fed up with rozanov??"

and the truth is that the team was playing against someone ilya and/or shane ESPECIALLY hates, which means shane was dropping the most vicious, lethal reads known to man and making ilya crack tf up to the point that they were attracting attention and the coach was just afraid of someone reading lips and getting them all in trouble

and signficantly, the three person buffer between them just keeps shane from SAYING his comments

he and ilya are still leaning forward and backward to look at each other and exchange "mhm" "mhm" looks that still make it clear they're still communicating their thoughts perfectly fine

[just-another-cat-blog]

pride month!!!

[lemonsharks]

Is that a miette?

[jeanjauthor]

Pride for you!  Pride for a thousand years!!

[lost-and-cursed]

you COME OUT to miette? you come out to her as queer? oh! oh! pride for mother! pride for mother for One Thousand Years!!!!

[daysleftofsecondterm]

pride for mother on 964 days left

[penandinkprincess]

seeing an out of state cybertruck in my town is truly a next-level insult

get your ugly ass monstrosity back to nevada and out of my sight at ONCE

[reckless-glitch]

[ramblingandpie]

[Video description: Gritty is turning the crank on a flagpole to raise the Progress Pride Flag. He gesticulates angrily that the flag is not blowing in the wind, then gestures offscreen. The flag begins blowing. As Gritty begins raising the flag more, the camera pans out to show a man in a suit and sunglasses, looking like a stern Secret Service agent, is holding a leafblower that points at the flag. End description.]

[dumnslut]

[hydratedbitch]

waking up cold: alright I need more blankies

waking up hot: covers thrown everywhere. sweat behind the kneecaps. 3 dead. the pillow is the sun. critical condition.

[jamie-goblin-child]

[tj-crochets]

My grandma just called and, among other things, said “You have hips. That’s good! Men like hips!” and then she interrupted herself to say “Women like hips. People of your preferred gender like hips. I can never remember”  And I was like “Thanks grandma! My preferred gender is none of them, no thanks.” and she was like “Okay, no one will comment on your hips!” very self satisfied, like “aha, I have figured it out” I think like half her grandkids are some variety of not-straight and she can’t always remember which is which but she is the epitome of like “she’s a little confused, but she’s got the spirit!”

[tj-crochets]

Update: I gave it some thought and my estimate was wrong. Of the grandkids that are out, it’s 1/3, not ½

[tj-crochets]

I told my grandma that I’d told my friends about what she said and that some of y’all had said you wished she was your grandma, and she said “Well, you can never have too many grandkids!”  So like…consider her your honorary grandma* I guess? *if you want an honorary grandma, that is

[tj-crochets]

Update on my grandma: I told her my hair was standing up, but instead of straight line it was diagonal and she said “That’s okay, you’ve never been straight!” and then laughed so hard at her own joke I thought she was going to drop the phone

[tj-crochets]

Happy almost pride month! Have my confused-but-supportive grandma!

[tj-crochets]

An update: my grandma just called me to ask if I knew it was pride month

[tj-crochets]

Happy pride month!!

[penandinkprincess]

it's important to run bits so the dnd gods can grant you with a nat 20 to make something so stupid happen that you get to watch your dm speedrun all of the stages of grief when they have to let you do it

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this