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@scratchakarstark
The honesty was refreshing and Sansa laughed. Everyone anyone said in this place meant something else. “You have no idea how right you are, but really I’d better not. If I’m left to my own devices I’ll just spend more time thinking about it.”
Nodding with a small smile pressed against his lips, Jon could see that she was just as glad for the wine as he was. Though her question was what surprised him more than anything else that had been said. “I..I wouldn’t know. Being who I am, I’ve been this way since birth, groomed since I learned to walk and talk and hold a sword, my father’s pride and joy, his heir. But, I think any of my siblings would be suitable had they been given my training and lessons since birth and it’s not an easy role to fill, least of all to say it isn’t for the faint of heart…”
Trailing as he thought on her last question, his thoughts just began to flow out into words and for some reason he didn’t think he could stop. “Being who my siblings are…Torrehn is kind and calm, very to himself if you’re not too well versed in his ways, nor does he care for pomp and circumstance or an audience for that matter. William, he is the heart and fire of us all, so joyful and optimistic, I don’t seem him being heavy handed when need be. Saerena she is the lady, more Lord than Lady surely but she too has fire in her, though her loyalty precedes all known notions, but she is far too impulsive, rash and heavy handed. Benjen, he is a bit of a mixture of Torrehn and myself, his intentions are good and pure, but being Lord of Winterfell that isn’t what he craves. Of us all, my brother Benjen would rather be a simple man, someone who would earn his living and be happy with his family and a wife and child to call his own, I envy him at times, and as for Rickard well he’s still a young Lad, more shy than anything else and prefers his own company and that of his wolf than anyone else’s.”
Sighing lightly, Jon couldn’t believe that he actually spoke so freely about his family to her, to anyone but it was as easy as breathing with her. “But truth be told…I don’t know who I would be if I wasn’t born and trained to be the heir of Winterfell.” Casting his eyes downward slightly as she spoke, Jon nodded almost solemnly. They expected to have a son, to leave her as a Lady of a House…His House and they never could and that struck him hard. “Well, perhaps it wasn’t their intention, but now you have the chance to be the Lady of Karstark.” Jon replied with what he hoped was an encouraging smile as she spoke again.
“I do, a few really but most of my time is spent with Luwen, and Torrehn, I’ve hardly any time for friends though I suppose that’s more my fault than my responsibility.”
Sansa listened intently at his analysis of his siblings. The words he spoke about them were honest--unbecoming in polite company. She was no longer polite company and she smiled at the realization. Truly he was the best suited for lordship and for all the reasons he described.
Fingers traced the rim of the cup as he continued. “I don’t if it’s worth the chance of being anything.” A sharp breath left her mouth as she smiled sourly. Karhold was a graveyard and she had been born and raised in it.
“We could--” Sansa swallowed hard, grateful for a change in subject. “I could perhaps stay for a short time to rest before traveling home. If it is no trouble with you?” She was in no hurry to return to Karhold, just to leave King’s Landing.
“It’s completely alright with me.” He responded in kind just a bit too vehemently for his taste and surely it would be something that had she seen it, Saerena would have most definitely made a spectacle of him. Clearing his throat to distract from his overly cheerful display, Jon turned to pour a glass of wine for her and himself and handed it back to her as he began to speak once more.
“It may seem that way, but I just hope that he hasn’t left my home turn to chaos. Benjen is a good man but he…well he loves his wine as much as the next man but it tends to be his only focus at times and unlike me, my siblings were never prepared solely to be the heir of Winterfell. My duty isn’t learned over a few lessons, like some might think, but then I wouldn’t have to explain that to you.”
He smiled almost guiltily before answering her question. “It won’t be but I’ll be thankful for less distraction. Torrehn and Benjen don’t make much chaos, it’s Saerena and William who love to cause ruckus and live their lives in trouble and while I love them, it’s just not what I need most days.”
“Thank you.” Sansa gladly took the wine in both hands, it was a dark enough red that she could not see the bottom of the glass. Dornish? She wondered. It was not until coming to King’s Landing that she had so freely drank it. Now she had become more accustomed to the darker reds--almost enough to enjoy it.
“I wonder if you are the best to lead by nature or through your lessons? Do you think your siblings are not suited because they were not taught?” Sansa couldn’t even imagine anyone else in charge of Winterfell besides Jon. It seemed he was born to it, but she knew there was a part of him that wished he could have had a choice. Still, she felt like he would have chosen the same fate.
“It wasn’t the same for me. My parents never intended for me to be heir; my mother hoped to have a son. They always intended for me to be lady--” of Winterfell. Sansa’s cheeks reddened and she looked away. “To be a lady. Not the lady.”
“Do you have other friends at Winterfell to pass the time with?” She wondered if he had friends among his people, or if he was like she was. Unable to relate to the others.
“She built her safety walls so high for protection, she ended up imprisoning herself.”
voicelessconfessions (via wordsnquotes)
“I’m sorry to hear that.” Truthfully he was, even though it was the cause for her to come to him and later for him to confess what he felt for her, but it was never his intention for her to feel the way she did.
“If I can be honest, I think it’s time I did as well. It’s not home and I miss my home, more importantly, I’ve responsibilities to take care of that I’ve been neglecting and poor Benjen just isn’t able to handle them all though he does the best he can.” He gave her a small grin before it widened at her answer.
“I think not. William is to take his place among his Grace’ Kingsguard, Saerena is staying with Lady Bane as a member of her House guard and I suppose Torrehn shall be staying with Lady Bane as well so it will be only you and I if that’s alright.” He was slightly anxious and overly aware of the fact that it would only be him and her traveling back, but it also excited him.
"Oh, no. I--I would prefer it. If-that's-all-right-with-you." She added the last sentence on quickly. She had more than overstayed her welcome in the Red Keep and she knew she couldn't handle the idea of dodging Thorne forever.
"It's good of you to think of benjen. Will this be the first time it will only be the two of you in winterfell?"
“No, I–We can talk inside.” Sansa’s brow showed her worry as she bit her lip. “No, not rude.” Once she was inside, she found herself pacing instead of taking her usual spot in the chair near the serving table.
“I did talk to Thorne, but he–we decided to take a break from seeing one another for awhile.” She didn’t quite know how else to put it. It wasn’t as though he had said that he didn’t want to see her, but there was no way she could look him in the face without an answer.
“I thought, perhaps, that you and I could spend some time together?” Was she being too forward? She knew she needed to go back to Karhold and talk to Rolf about everything that had transpired. Surely he was the only one who could give her the right kind of advice. No other friend was truly impartial. “I was thinking about heading North again. I don’t know what your plans are…”
As she entered, Jon knew it was a poor choice of words he used. More bemused than anything, he watched as she nervously moved from one end of his chambers to the other. “You have? I…I hope that was not on account of me. I didn’t mean to cause a rift between you two.” Frowning lightly, Jon could feel it begin to weigh on his conscience. Though he knew full well he wasn’t taking her from another man when she felt as he did and it was of her own volition, but he couldn’t help from feeling a tad guilty about doing it.
“I..I would like that very much.” He began with a smile as he began to get ahead of himself once more. His earlier thoughts now flooded his mind and he was temporarily distracted from what she was saying and only caught the last bit with a nod. “Oh..well I suppose my plans are to return home soon. We…Well I’ve been here far much longer than I or Benjen anticipated. I’ve just written him but I much rather be on my way by the time he receives my letter. I don’t want to assume, but would you like to maybe travel they way back together?”
"No, it's--it isn't your fault. It's just--" what would she say? It wasn't fair to say what it was, as if she even knew, for both Jon and Thorne's sakes. "There were already some rifts." That was true, but it was painful for her to verbalize.
"I think it's time I left this place; I would love to travel with you. Will any of your siblings be joining us?" Please don't say Saerena, Sansa begged mentally. Any stark sibling but her would be fine company to travel with. That paired with her newfound position with the bane guard, Sansa dreaded the idea of traveling with her.
“No, I--We can talk inside.” Sansa’s brow showed her worry as she bit her lip. “No, not rude.” Once she was inside, she found herself pacing instead of taking her usual spot in the chair near the serving table.
“I did talk to Thorne, but he--we decided to take a break from seeing one another for awhile.” She didn’t quite know how else to put it. It wasn’t as though he had said that he didn’t want to see her, but there was no way she could look him in the face without an answer.
“I thought, perhaps, that you and I could spend some time together?” Was she being too forward? She knew she needed to go back to Karhold and talk to Rolf about everything that had transpired. Surely he was the only one who could give her the right kind of advice. No other friend was truly impartial. “I was thinking about heading North again. I don’t know what your plans are...”
“What? No--I--does it look like something’s wrong?” Sansa’s hands went to her face in worry. Were her eyes still puffy from crying two days ago? “I just came to see you. I had something important to discuss with you.” The last sentence was almost a whisper as she looked about the hallway.
Sansa could feel the pit in her stomach threaten to reach her throat. Why am I always knocking on his chamber door? She wondered as she waited for him to answer. Normally, Sansa was the shut in, but in the Red Keep it was Jon.
Now that she had talked to Thorne--and taken near two days to recover from the conversation--she wanted to speak to Jon again. He had held back, respectfully, in their last conversation. It only made her admire him more. With new news, she hoped they could speak more frankly. If that were the case, perhaps it would be easier for her to come to a decision. Although it probably won’t.
The grim mood she was slowly digging her way into had to fade. She didn’t want Jon to see her maudlin. It wasn’t fair to him. Particularly after crying in his arms the other night. Determined to appear positive, Sansa forced an awkward smile as she heard Jon opening the door.
@lordjonstarrk
“It’s not really a problem that can be solved. At least I think it isn’t.” Sansa swallowed hard. Who was this young lady? It was not as if she could discuss such things. They involved both Thorne and Jon. She bit her lip as she considered the fact that there really was no one she could speak to about it.
“There are two people I care very much about.” Sansa decided. If she was vague, perhaps it would do. “They both care about me, but there are complications with both. I’m not sure I can force myself to make a choice.”
“There will always be complications when you care about people, but I think its deciding which complications are worth it in the end. My name Is Robin Dondarrion by the way. I apologize I should have introduced myself properly.”
“I don’t know the situtation, but maybe some alone time with your thoughts may help. It can be easy to get sucked up into daily whirlwinds. Father sometimes locks himself in his office, when he has much on his mind, Mother plays the harp when she is mulling something over, is there something you like to do? something to clear your head?” Robin didn’t know much of the world yet, but she knew how people worked from observing the people back home.
“Sansa Karstark.” She told the girl. There will always be complications when you care about people. Of course there would be! These kinds of complications, hopefully, would not persist. She used the introduction as an excuse not to respond. Without going into detail, it would be difficult to explain.
“That was the plan, I guess.” She had run to the gardens to gather her thoughts. “I’m not sure either person is a better choice than the other. I’m not even sure if they’d both be available options if I take too long to decide.”
“It’s not really a problem that can be solved. At least I think it isn’t.” Sansa swallowed hard. Who was this young lady? It was not as if she could discuss such things. They involved both Thorne and Jon. She bit her lip as she considered the fact that there really was no one she could speak to about it.
“There are two people I care very much about.” Sansa decided. If she was vague, perhaps it would do. “They both care about me, but there are complications with both. I’m not sure I can force myself to make a choice.”
Sansa had to get out of there; she felt sick. How she could possibly have had not one, but two men interested in her? Two wonderful men. Thorne was breaking her heart–or she was breaking her own heart. She couldn’t tell. And now with Jon…
In her haste to find privacy in the small alcove of the gardens, she did not notice the person next to her. I finally told him I loved him, she cried softly pounding her fist on the wall, How could I tell him like this? As she hit the wall again, she heard a gasp and turned around, wiping her eyes.
“Oh! I’m so–I’m so sorry.”
Renna eyed the girl carefully, gently spinning the knife she had been using to carve a piece of wood, letting the blade slide gracefully into its sheath that was wrapped around her wrist. The Greyjoy had found sanctuary in the garden, getting away from the rest of the court. The wedding had been an affair, and what with her sister and Aeron suddenly deciding to appear at court. She could feel the tides, ebbing and pulling, until they formed a circle, pulling everything into the depths. An ironborn she may be, however Renna was not arrogant enough to believe a Greyjoy on the throne would be a good thing.
The girl pounding on the wall next to her broke her from such pensive and dark thoughts, a small breath escaping her mouth as she snapped back. As the girl noticed her and apologized, Renna waved her hand in a soothing motion. “Worry not, it was not you that worried me,” she said, offering what could almost be seen as a smile.
The voice came from a woman about her age. Someone she didn’t recognize. Great another noblewoman I don’t know, Sansa sighed. This one seemed more like Rowyn than any of the princesses, however, and she was grateful for it.
“I’m glad to hear it. Would you like to be alone? I can--I can leave.”
Sansa had to get out of there; she felt sick. How she could possibly have had not one, but two men interested in her? Two wonderful men. Thorne was breaking her heart–or she was breaking her own heart. She couldn’t tell. And now with Jon…
In her haste to find privacy in the small alcove of the gardens, she did not notice the person next to her. I finally told him I loved him, she cried softly pounding her fist on the wall, How could I tell him like this? As she hit the wall again, she heard a gasp and turned around, wiping her eyes.
“Oh! I’m so–I’m so sorry.”
“Oh no no my lady I am sorry. Are you alright? you are not hurt are you?” Robin had been sitting in the gardens all day humming and working on a flower chain when the dark haired noble lady swooped in, her face red with tears. Robins immediately wanted to help, her heart aching for the other woman already. Just as she had reached to touch her, Sansa’s fist struck the wall and RObin let out a surprised gasp.
Worried dotted her face as she looked to the older lady, her face gentle.
“No. No, I’m fine.” Sansa quickly gained her composure and forced her face to be calm. “I should have been paying attention. Sorry for disturbing you.”
Sansa had to get out of there; she felt sick. How she could possibly have had not one, but two men interested in her? Two wonderful men. Thorne was breaking her heart--or she was breaking her own heart. She couldn’t tell. And now with Jon...
In her haste to find privacy in the small alcove of the gardens, she did not notice the person next to her. I finally told him I loved him, she cried softly pounding her fist on the wall, How could I tell him like this? As she hit the wall again, she heard a gasp and turned around, wiping her eyes.
“Oh! I’m so--I’m so sorry.”
She saw herself as a shadow; secretly dancing in silence and chasing his footsteps in the dark. He saw her as sunshine; her light hair glittering as she twirls around, radiating all the brightness in the world right beside him.
redlipsandrouge (via wnq-writers)
@lordthornebane
Lie: You are forgetting him. Bleeding him out of your veins, building castles around your heart. Truth: He is sinking into your skin – dust-brown hair and dimples, scars and stars tattooed upon his body, and you, reaching in the dark for a dream of a dream. Lie: He is soft enough to love from afar. His eyes are pools, or maybe oceans. Classical mythology born again. Truth: He is a firestorm, or a thunderstorm, or the sword in the stone. Impossible to wield unless you know the secret. Lie: You don’t know the secret.
dreamscapes | m.j. (via fairytalesques)
