Scratch Paper 02

Sam's here...

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J4| Muling ibalik?

Muling ibalik ang ating nakaraan...? Ngunit wala tayong pinagsamahan Wala tayong kailangang ibalik Sapagkat ang ating pinagsamahan, ay parang mahiyain na tao, walang kaimik-imik Muling ibalik ang ating nakaraan.. Napansin ko ring marami tayong mga bagay na laging pinagtatalunan Sapagkat tayo'y iba ang mga nagugustuhan Tulad mo na lang, na siya ang tanging sinusulyapan Aaminin kong 'di talaga ako seryoso Naghahanap lang ng pampalipas-oras ko Nais ko lang ulit matikman ang tamis ng pag-ibig Pag-ibig na naririnig sa kabig ng iyong dibdib Ayoko naman talaga mahulog ulit sa'yo Nagsasabi lang ako ng tunay na nadarama ko 'Di mo na ako kinakailangan pang ipagtabuyan Sapagkat wala rin namang hinaharap na susulyapan at nakaraan na babalikan

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J3| The Lightning has Struck

And once again, the lightning has struck I don’t even know how the fuck All I know is that I shouldn’t be like this Just because of the fact that she could be your first kiss

No Chi, this is gonna be easy, for it’s just an admiration Oh who am I kidding? For me, this is a huge devastation Although it has been just 2 months since the day I liked him, And even though it’s just a mutual understanding, my world is starting to dim

This isn’t my first time, I should’ve seen this coming I should’ve known that this would all end up for nothing The lightning has struck, Chi, get over it Therefore, everything you liked about him, should now be just a myth

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J2| I Hate It When It Rains

As the raindrops started to pour down

It’s slowly getting painful than it sounds

The more that it turns into a storm

The more that I miss the feeling of being warm

When it rains, the raindrops dagger my skin 

The heart that was once full of love, became paper thin

The puddles formed, slipping me every time I pass by

The way it still affects me, no matter how hard I try

The raindrops have always been you and her

The puddles are formed, by who we were

The fog covering my tear-stained face

Blinds my eyes, that were once the focus of your gaze

I hate it every time it rains, 

Seems like it brought nothing to me, but pain

At least there’s already nothing for me to look forward to

Now that I know that the idea of us, will never be true

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J1| The Ocean Floor

I’ve always seen you, but it never really mattered

But everything changed when my pulse went even faster

Never really quite understood why it happened, what just happened

So I just chose to forget it back then

It was a mistake resisting it, for I got deeper & deeper

Deep enough for me to get used of the taste of saltwater

I wanted to go back to the surface again

But the caught of your glimpse, was as easy as 8-9-10

So I stopped resisting, and finally gave in

The gap between us, suddenly became paper thin

And at that moment, when I thought we had a chance

I saw you, and it seems like you’re already tied up in someone else’s hands

Confused by what happened, though it easily came through my mind

How stupid of me to fall for someone, once again, with someone who’s restrained, deaf and blind

And as for always, I’ll pick up the tiny, broken pieces

Trying to fix myself again, with terribly sewn stitches

I wanted to go back up again, just for me to avoid the pain

But even at the surface, you thought begins the pouring of the rain

Pointless to say, but that’s just what I had to do

just for me to wait again, for you..

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C2| When September Ends

It started that summer with a blue cloud behind the lighting

A message appeared, and my phone started blinking

Surprised at first, for we weren’t that close before

But that all changed when we talked about so much more

Had a lot of crazy talks, especially about her

For you were color blind, and to you, she was the only right color

I felt nothing before, Friendship was probably the only exception

But as the seasons changed, Friendship developed into an infatuation

Whether I reveal or keep my secret as far as I can take

In the end, it’s still going to be me, being attended for a wake

But just in case I live, I hope we could still be friends

Even if the time comes when September ends

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C1| I Just Don’t Know When

Two lovers who are still holding on 

Thinking of each other from dusk till dawn

Trying to move on from the past they shared

I’m sure they’re just surprised, or somehow scared

One simply wants to pursue his education

An excuse unacceptable for their situation

The other trying to escape from her own feelings

Telling herself to have her own beginnings

These two lovers are quite pitiful to look at

But I know for sure, their love story won’t simply end with that

And even if it kills me to see them together again,

I’m sure mine will come, I just don’t know when

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M2|Fragile Friday

I had a breakdown last Friday

It was a move that lead me astray

I couldn’t retain the image of how it occurred

All I know was, my mind saw images with complete blur

Maybe he pulled the trigger

Maybe it was the lessons that are getting harder

Maybe I’m not strong enough to face everything

Or maybe it’s just my weaknesses speaking

It doesn’t matter who or what pulled the trigger

I just need to find the solution one way or another

I should not lose control of my grip

Anyway, it’s getting late, maybe I should just get some sleep

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A2|Just a feeling

These days, I haven’t been sleeping

I’d just stay awake, and I’ll be grieving

When you were gone, it was a suffering

But then I’ll have to stop, for it’s just a feeling

You’d walk me home late, even at day

Wishing I could make you feel the sane way

I hope you could see what I an seeing

But then I thought, “Oh, it’s just a feeling”

Remembering the days I try so hard not to weep

Despite all the secrets from you, that I had to keep

it shows too much of me, it’s really annoying

Then I remembered, it is what I’m feeling

Every single day, I try so hard to forget

I keep telling myself, that this, I won’t regret

i guarantee this sorrow, will never be ending

Because this is indeed, just a feeling

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M1|Tonight

I look at the sky as if I’m looking for something

But at the same time, it seems like it already has everything

I look at the sky, and I feel contented

In some ways, I don’t feel so conflicted

I look at the sky, in times when I need answers

Answers that do not answer my questions, but leads me further

I have thousands of reasons why I choose to look at the sky

But I just wrote a few, for these are the reasons why I’m left with my last sigh

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A1

Why am I like this?

How am I still like this

After everything I’ve been through,..?

I’m still stuck on hoping for you

I know you’re already taken, by someone really special

Thinking about it, makes me go crazy, not normal

But of course, I can’t prevent you from loving her

We can’t just go back to the things we were before

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Why...?

Why do I end up hurting the people who are important to me?