Itâs impossible to sneak up on Steve
Like, actually impossible
Dude has eyes in the back of his head. Itâs some kind of mom superpower. (Or maybe itâs just the hypervigilance. Whatever)
Eddie first notices because the kids try to sneak past him a couple of times and he always catches them
He even calls them out by name. And heâs always right
He catches Henderson trying to get a snack before theyâre about to eat (not that Henderson particularly cares heâs been caught; he eats his chips without remorse)
He catches Small Wheeler trying to smuggle an R-rated movie over the Buckleyâs side of the counter while Steveâs back is turned (not that Buckley wouldâve rented it to him)
He catches Red and Supergirl both sneaking junk food into the cart while theyâre out grocery shopping (neither of them are repentant, and Steve rolls his eyes but does exactly nothing about it)
Eddieâs interest is piqued
The first time he tries sneaking up on Steve, Steve catches him before he gets within three feet
âYou jingle when you walk, Eddie.â
Okay, yeah, thatâs fair
Next time, Eddie takes off his wallet chain and all his jewelry
Steve still catches him before he gets close enough to reach out and touch
Eddieâs pretty sure they donât, actually, but fine. The shoes are next to go
And Steve still fucking catches him. Eddie can hear the goddamn smile in his voice as he says âHi, Eddie,â just as Eddie is reaching out to grab his waist
âI could smell your shampoo.â
He could smell Eddieâs shampoo?
Alright, no, actually, thatâs kind of sweet. But Eddie canât exactly stop using shampoo, because then Steve will probably just be able to smell his hair grease or something. Eddie has to get creative, but he makes sure heâs not downwind of the AC vent next time
Yet Steve is the one who manages to ambush Eddie while Eddie is ambushing Steve, turning around and pulling Eddie right into him before Eddie can pounce, kissing him hard and quick, asking if thatâs what Eddie was going for when he pulls away
Half dazed, half aroused, entirely frustrated, Eddie demands to know how the fuck Steve caught him this time, and Steve shrugs
âIt just⌠feels different, when thereâs someone behind you. The air, maybe? I dunno.â
(Given the general state of⌠everything, Eddie feels this is a legitimate question)
But Eddie isnât one to give up once he becomes fixated, so he bides his time
And he waits, until it seems like Steve is engaged in something distracting enough that heâs not going to be paying attention to how the room behind him feels, or however the fuck that works, and takes his shot
He has to promise never to do it again, because his ribs are now bruised from Steveâs very surprised elbow, and Steve is mad and handing him and ice pack and bitching at him at full volume, but yâknow what?