Script Sharing

We're a blog dedicated to sharing scripts made to help deal with social interactions. Share the scripts you like to use, or ask for help!

[daily-spooky]

[what-even-is-thiss]

The trick to these sorts of questions is to just have an answer ready that you give any time people ask this sort of stuff.

Just pick something to officially be your favorite song, favorite movie, favorite book, weirdest thing you’ve ever seen. Whether it’s 100% true all the time or not. Just have a stock answer.

One time I knitted a 15 foot long scarf. Is that the most interesting thing about me? Probably not. But it’s in a list of stock answers I have to “share a fun fact about yourself”

Like literally write down for yourself a list of answers to these sorts of questions. Favorite movie, song, food, earliest memory, 3 slightly unusual facts about yourself you’re comfortable sharing, one or two things you like to do in your freetime.

It doesn’t have to be profound and it doesn’t even have to be 100% accurate at the moment. The point of having stock answers is to give you something to say when you don’t know what to say.

What’s my favorite tv show? Officially it’s doctor who. The real answer is that I don’t really watch tv anymore and I’m kinda searching for something I actually want to watch. But in the moment to new people I’ll just say it’s doctor who because I know how to talk about it.

[starfallskitter]

This works until someone asks you a question you didn't prepare for. I absolutely do this also, don't worry.

This is also the most neurodivergent possible solution. "Prepare a script" is not how social interaction is supposed to go.

[what-even-is-thiss]

It kind of is though especially with people you’ve just met. I didn’t have a lot of friends as a kid and had to learn how to do small talk as an adult. I learned by watching people and what I noticed is that people I know who are good at socializing tend to say the same things over and over again to new people. Same jokes over and over again, same stories over and over again.

Over time people tend to narrow down a set of responses they have to things. And you can change some of your responses over time if you want but the fact remains that the world is a stage. When meeting new people you’ve got a lot of calculations to make because you don’t know how much you can trust each other yet.

Also if someone asks you a question you’re unprepared for saying “Wow, I’d never thought about that. Gimme a second.” before giving your answer is a perfectly normal thing to say. In fact that, word for word, is what I hear people say most times they don’t know the answer to a social question in a group of new people.

Social interaction with new people and in very formal settings is a set of scripts. Even for people naturally good at socializing. That’s what manners are, that’s what icebreaker questions are. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

[hellenhighwater]

Do you have any tips for negotiating prices? I honestly have no idea how to do it at all not even what to say to imply you want a lower price

Well, you can always flat out ask, but that’s not the best way to go about it. The general script I usually recommend (first made for my brother, who is too nice for confrontation but who was spending WAY too much on secondhand car parts) goes like this. Please keep in mind that it’s only really fair to do this when someone has not already said that the price is firm. (Though, if something is listed weeks ago, I will occasionally ask if they’re still firm on price just to see if that’s changed):

1. Is this item still available? (If it has been for sale for a while, you can probably ask for a lower price--seller may want it gone.) 

2. General question about the item--size, condition, how old it is, etc. Anything not already covered in the description.

3. Appreciation for answer to the question + reason why this may not be perfect for you at the current price. This could be “Oh, it’s way bigger than I thought, I’m not sure if it’ll work for what I have in mind!” (True of the windows I just bought; they’re hella long!) or “Man, I really love this but it’s super far for me to drive!” You are trying to convey some hesitation over buying so that the seller will be motivated to entice you into buying, and to lay groundwork for this:

4. Would you consider...(amount of money). The amount I offer is typically about  half to a third less than asking price, or, if I think I can get away with it, what I would consider the Crazy Good Deal price. (Offering $25 for an item priced at $100 is a Crazy Good Deal; normally I don’t try that low, because it’s almost an insult. In this case, I knew the seller had had them listed for a while, wanted to get rid of them by tomorrow, was flexible on price, and had to admit to some damage to the items.)  Before you get to this point, try to avoid committing to buying or sounding like you Must Have This Thing--you want the seller to know you could still walk away.

Also, don’t put this number on the table right away--you want to get in your explanation and questions (if in person, try to establish a rapport first!) before you put the number down, because from here out it’s just talking money, and that’s all people will pay attention to.

At this point, the seller may say:

Yes, I’d take that. 

No, I’m firm at the listing price

No, but I would take (amount of money).

If it’s 1., congrats! Be appropriately grateful, arrange pickup, and be punctual and polite. If 2., you say either: “Okay, thank you! I can make that work,” or “Okay, thank you for considering that! I can’t make this work at the current price, but please let me know if you change your mind later. I really appreciate your time on this,” or something else like that.  Personally, I rarely even ask on an item if I’m not willing to pay full price; negotiating down is nice, but usually I’ve already decided to get the thing. I don’t like to feel like I’ve wasted the seller’s time.

If they respond with 3., you can either counteroffer with an amount in the middle of your first number and theirs, or you can just take them up on what they said. 

Keep in mind that both of you can walk away from the sale, but that you’re not likely to lose anything by just asking. Be polite, respectful of other people’s time, and read the listing (everybody hates being asked questions they already gave answers to). This, of course, also applies at yard sales or other situations where price is negotiable. My brother really likes the “would you consider...” line because they can always respond with “No, I won’t.” And that’s totally fair! 

Personally, I enjoy doing this from both sides! When I sell stuff secondhand, I always start by listing at what I would consider The Most This Thing Is Worth, and usually I let myself be talked down from that. 

[butchniqabi]

i know a lot of people hate emails, but personally i love being able to formally give information. there's a formula i can follow and it works well all the time...literally so much fun its like madlibs

[butchniqabi]

actually new ask game send me a scenario and a sender and i'll write you a professional email

[dykefruit]

I really just want to know your formula because I love following formulas for social interactions but (semi-)professional E-Mails always fuck me up because I don’t have a formula to follow

[butchniqabi]

my formulas are something like this:

Hello Person,

I am greeting you and hoping you have had a good day or weekend. I am contacting you because of a specific reason which requires alerting you via email. This is a short sentence explaining how or why I need your specific help/approval.

This is a request for your help. This is an explanation of what I need from you. This is when I need it by. I'd appreciate if you could prioritize it. This is me not pressuring you.

Thank you very much in advanced for your help, I hope you have a good [day of the week/weekend] and I look forward to seeing you/ speaking to you later [or specific day].

Best,

My Name

OR

Hello Person,

Thank you for your patience regarding this Thing I am sending you. I will not overly apogize if it is late, just thank you for your time. I may include a short, but not overly personal explanation as to why it was delayed (ex: "things have been a bit busy here").

This is where I include the information regarding the Thing I'm sending you. This is where I include details that are important to note about said Thing. If I had trouble with the Thing, this is where I lightheartedly comment on the difficulty and deflect the idea I can't do my job by pretending it is a heads up for you only (ex: "the text formating is a little finicky, so be careful with how many words you type because it may get cut off").

Thank you again for waiting, let me know if you have any questions or concerns. Have a good [day]!

Best,

My Name

[skullchicken]

Random socializing tip: Tell people when they’ve had a positive impact on your life!

e.g.: “Hey, remember when I asked you for advice on X? That was really helpful, I tried it and now (insert what has improved)”

“You kept gushing about (insert series/book/movie/recipe) and made it sound really appealing, so I checked it out and I really liked it!”

“Thank you for letting me vent recently, telling you what bothered me really helped me to work through it / helped me see it from another perspective / gave me the courage to address it with the person I was talking about.”

It helps people see their own strong points, it deepens your relationships, it makes the people in your life feel appreciated and special and it can give you warm fuzzy feelings!

Win/win all around!

[dankmemeuniversity]

[prolifeproliberty]

Tips for this situation (when you truly have had the same/similar experience):

1. Start by saying what you mean to say. “You’re not alone.” Literally say that. Then when you tell them that you’ve been through something similar, they understand what you’re trying to say. Because you said it.

2. Be concise with your story. This isn’t the time to process whatever you need to process - this is the “elevator pitch” version of your story.

3. Go right back to them and what they need. Ask relevant, respectful questions - if you’ve been through something similar, you’ll have an idea of what they would & wouldn’t be comfortable answering. Mostly, give them space to talk and even possibly to ask you questions about how you handled things.

[cosmoshard]

THANK YOU I NEED THIS FOR MY FUTURE

[binghsien]

How to have a conversation about a topic you’re not interested in or don’t know anything about:

Listen to what the other person has to say about the topic.

Ask a question about what they said. Asking them to clarify or explain something you don’t understand is great, but any question will do. All else fails, ask them to explain what they like about some part of the topic.

Listen to their responses and go back to step 2.

Do this until 5-15 minutes has passed, then change the subject to a topic of your interest, unless you are actually interested in learning more on this subject, in which case, go on for as long as you like.

Sometimes, they will say something like “I’m sorry to blather on about [topic].” This is an attempt at a conversational dismount. You can either say “no, it was fascinating, thanks” and then bring up your own topic, or you can say “no, it’s fascinating, please keep going” if you want to keep hearing about their topic. Note the tense difference (past -> moving on, present -> keep going).

I just thought I’d write a script for this, because someone who can’t / won’t do this came up in a Captain Awkward column, and listening about topics you have no interest in is a really useful skill to have and not often explicitly taught, particularly to boys and men.

[tfw-adhd]

This is really helpful advice for people with adhd/autism because we’re often not great at social skills and holding conversations

[paradoxlemonade]

Allistic people really need to stop phrasing requests as questions because it's fucking with me

"Do you want to help me cook dinner?"

No, I'm still overwhelmed from earlier and want to stay in my room.

"well fine, dinner will be ready when it's done." And now they're upset with me

And I'm just here like ???????

[butterflyinthewell]

Oh God I hate it when they frame it like that because it sounds like a choice, but if you say no they get all offended. It’s an illusion of choice and it’s so annoying.

If I ever ask something, it’s an offer, not a demand. “Hey, wanna watch a movie with me? No? Okay, I’ll go watch it, you chill here and I hope you feel better.”

[dxs4all]

I can't count the times I got in trouble because of that as a kid while never having any idea what exactly I did wrong.

Those requests with only one correct response disguised as questions with multiple answers just made me think I couldn't actually say "no" to anything (because I had no idea which ones were the secret requests), something I still have trouble to this day.

[lesbofujo]

Also when they just make an observation but they expect you to know that they’re asking for something. Like “Oh the trash can is pretty full.” But they really mean “Could you take the trash out?” Just fuckign say what you mean 😒

[madgastronomer]

Here's the thing. They've literally been trained since childhood to do it this way, and probably do not realize that what they're saying can be interpreted another way. It's an Ask vs Guess problem. In particular, a lot of women are taught to phrase things is a Guess way. The way they were taught to speak, they are saying what they mean.

If you want someone in your life to switch from Guess to Ask with you, then you need to have a discussion with them, Ask them to meet you somewhere in the middle on this, possibly explain the difference in cultures, definitely explain, "When you say $THING, it does not mean to me what it means to you", and then understand that it will take them time and work to change, and that you may need to be an active participant in that change. You can do this by remembering that things do not mean the same to them that they do to you, and, when they say, "Do you want to cook dinner with me?" replying with, "Are you asking me to do that, or are you asking me if I'd like it?"

Yes, I understand that this will be hard for you also. You and this person in your life will both need to work on this, together, and be forgiving of one another.

This is not something the other person is intentionally doing to you, or at you. They are speaking as they were taught to speak, that's all. It happens to conflict with your neurodivergence. That happens. It can be dealt with.

[scriptsharing]

Hi! Sorry to bother but, lately, I've been feeling like sht bc, even tho my fics get a ton of hits and fair amount of kudos, they never get more than 5 comments. And that's when they're multichapter-ed. When they do get comments, it's always something like "update", "write more" or "why are you taking so long to continue this?" and it's making me frustrated. I don't want anyone to feel pressured to comment on my fics but I'd appreciate some more feedback. Otherwise it's like talking to a wall.

Never a bother! Apologies if this reply is late.

I'm sorry you're not getting more positive comments. It is really frustrating to work hard on something, only to feel like people don't appreciate it. And comments bothering you to update can be especially stressful.

First, a reminder that comments, kudos, etc aren't really a reflection of how good your writing is. Sometimes less well-written things get a lot of engagement, sometimes really great things don't get much at all. It depends on a lot of factors, and one of them is honestly luck. I'm sure you already know this, but it bears repeating.

Second, I know it feels hard to do when you're already not getting many comments, but remember you can always delete comments that are rude or stress-inducing. It doesn't necessarily stop people from leaving them, but it encourages them not to since they're clearly not being received well, and keeps you from having to see them whenever you go in to add a new chapter.

Thirdly, if you have any friends, online or off, who are into the fandom(s) you write for, try sharing your fic with them! Friends are frankly often a much better and more reliable source of positive feedback than random people on the internet. Or, if you don't have any friends in the relevant fandoms, make some! See if you can find a group chat or discord or something to join and start talking to people there, and try linking a fic once you're comfortable. So much of the positive feedback I've gotten on my own writing has been from friends and acquaintances I shared my work with. Also, if you're comfortable doing so, you can always try sharing/linking to your fics on tumblr or your other social media of choice. Engagement is often higher on actual social media, and just like with any other online content, more promotion usually leads to more engagement.

And finally, remember that if you're feeling really frustrated and writing is losing its fun, it's also ok to take a break for a while. You don't owe anyone content - you're writing for your own enjoyment. And if you're not enjoying it, sometimes you need to take a break for a bit and come back to it later.

I hope this was helpful in some way, and that you start getting more positive feedback soon. ❤

- Mod Bri

[autismandstuff]

[blogbunnyrabbit]

[decabus]

this meme made me realise that other people apparently know how to show empathy without personal anecdotes 

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

… how…. please teach me

[idontknowanymoreaaaaaa]

I’m pretty sure none of us will get answers but please…if someone knows the secrets to showing empathy without personal anecdotes please speak up. We need answers

[lil-tumbles]

(Me (adhd + autism) can show empathy, but not sympathy. For me, it’s like I do the exact same thing, but as well as showing empathy through anecdotes I show sympathy through empathy).

[dragoninhumanskin]

@decabus @some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat @messynogenderpotato

I have somethin I guess? I’ve been the Support Friend for most of my life so I managed to get it down to a formula. TW: dog death

1. Ask Questions

This is mainly to keep them talking, that way a) they feel like they have a confidante in you, and b) the pressure is less on you to Say Things. In fact it shouldn’t be about you Saying Things at all, it should be you figuring out where they’re at and trying to understand.  E.g. “My dog died, I miss him.” Ask questions, and when they start talking, let them talk. “What was his name?” “How and when did he die?” “Tell me about him.” “What was he like?” “What’s your favourite memory of him?” “When did you first meet him?” “Did you teach him any tricks?” Again the point is to keep them talking, the questions are just to get them on a roll. If you’re worrying about what to say next, listen to what they’re saying and ask details of what they’re currently talking about, or mentally prepare your next question.

2. Listen

Let them talk. The more you listen to them talk, the more they feel like it’s okay to talk to you. If they dwindle off, ask them something else to get them talking again. Upset people usually have a lot to say.

Every now and again you can throw in little sentences like “Wow, what a bitch!” “Aw, so sad.” “What the fuck? Why?” just to prove you’re still listening and following, and haven’t wandered off into space.

3. When they’re done, give it back to them

It’s a technique called mirroring. Sum up whatever you heard in short form - if they’ve talked for half an hour about the little details of their deceased pet, say something like “It sounds like he was a very good boy/sounds like he meant a lot to you/sounds like you will miss him.” It’s been known to make people dissolve into a sobbing mess, because this is the part where you prove you’ve done your homework, you listened, you care, you get it.

4. If you really want to offer a solution, ask first. You can just skip this step altogether tbh.

Only when someone has finished talking about whatever is upsetting them, ask if you can help. “Can I offer some advice?”  Now is the time for SHORT anecdotes. Short. It’s not about you sharing your story, it’s about them getting advice. Remember they don’t have to take your advice, again it’s about them and their emotions, and they know themselves best. “When my dog died, I did this. Would that help?” “I read somewhere about doing this. Maybe try that and see how it goes?”

Hope this helps y’all. The TL;DR of all this is basically listen, and prove you’re listening.

[idontknowanymoreaaaaaa]

Thank you!!!

[sgo-resources]

That explanation really is so good!

[artofthecatt]

Klonk! [x]

[whoa-its-dani]

How would one word a text / message to someone in this situation? (I don’t really handle calls well so I probably wouldn’t answer, it’d likely make the issues worse)

If I’m struggling with depression / anxiety / whatever else I’m struggling with at that time, how do I word that? Especially in those states of mind, I don’t really put things well. And ESPECIALLY if it’s planned months ago. I don’t have the biggest grasp on “social decorum”.

How do I do it without being called a faker or told to “stop making excuses” or “stop being lazy”?

[dontworryfolkswetookallherteeth]

“Hey, I’ve really been looking forward to hanging out with you, but I’m not feeling great today and can’t make it. When can we reschedule for?”

Adjust as necessary for formality. The key points covered are:

Establishes you enjoy spending time with them

Not the other persons fault

You don’t feel well. This is vague, and could mean The Black Death, a migraine, or you’re having a depressive episode. It is also honest. Awkward questions have been politely avoided.

You can’t make it. It is not an option to do it today, and they do not have a chance to persuade you otherwise

Rescheduling shows you’d still like to meet up, so you don’t end up isolating yourself

[scriptsharing]

A good guide for how to let someone know you need to cancel/reschedule plans!

[scriptsharing]

How to Schedule an Appointment at a New Doctor’s Office

Making an appointment with a new doctor or dentist can be really intimidating. Especially if you’ve never done it before. But it can actually be very easy if you know what information you’ll need, and what to expect in advance.

Below a cut because it’s a little long.

Step 1. Find a doctor

The first step is actually finding a doctor. Personally, I tend to do this by going onto my insurance company’s website, logging onto my account (or making one if I haven’t yet), and looking them up there, since many companies have a tool to help you find someone in-network (aka that they’ll actually cover). If not, then calling your insurance company to ask for a list of in-network providers near you is also a good option. Basically, you wanna check beforehand that your insurance will cover the person you’re seeing. (For a crash course on the basics of health insurance in the US, check out this post.) Once you have a list, you can narrow it down however you like. Look up online reviews. Check what hours they’re open. See how close their office is to you/how easy it would be to get to. Do you want someone of a specific gender? Do you need someone who speaks a certain language? There are a lot of factors you can consider. It’s also important to make sure the doctor you pick is currently accepting new patients, which you can usually find either on their clinic’s website, or by calling their office.

Step 2: Get your information ready

Once you have a doctor picked out who’s covered by your insurance and accepting new patients, it’s time to get ready for the call. Make sure you have your insurance information on hand, as they’re going to ask what company you’re covered by, what your ID number is, and what your group number is if you have one. If you’re covered under a parent’s insurance, you’ll also need your parent’s full name and date of birth. If you’re covered by more than one insurance plan, make sure you know which one is your primary insurance and which is your secondary, and that you have the information for both. (If you have insurance that you signed up for yourself, and insurance through a parent or partner, the one that you personally signed up for will be your primary insurance.) Once you have your insurance information on hand, pull up a calendar and figure out what dates and times you can schedule an appointment for, or if your schedule is fairly open, what days and times you can’t schedule an appointment for. This way, when it’s time to schedule, you won’t be scrambling to find a calendar or remember when you’re available. Finally, make sure you know your phone number and address, as they’ll most likely ask for these.

Step 3: Call

There are some doctor’s offices that will allow you to schedule online, which is great, but a lot of them still require you to call in. If you call, when the receptionist asks how they can help you, tell them “I would like to schedule an initial appointment with [doctor you picked].” They will say ok, and then ask you for your personal information. They’ll almost always start by asking your name and date of birth. Then they’ll ask for your insurance information and contact information. Sometimes they’ll ask if you want to talk to the doctor about something specific. If not, then you can tell them it’s just a checkup because you need a new primary doctor. If there is something specific you’re going in about, let them know what it is so the doctor can be better prepared for you. If there are multiple problems you need to be seen about, bear in mind they can usually only put down one thing for insurance reasons, so tell them the most important one/the one you want to address first. Anything else you can bring up with your doctor during the appointment, or at future appointments. Once the receptionist has all the information they need, it will be time to schedule. Usually they’ll tell you what the soonest opening is for the doctor, and from there you can either take that appointment, or ask about availability on other dates and/or times as needed. If you have very specific needs, like you can only make it on Tuesday mornings for example, it’s best to say so directly. This makes it easier for them to narrow down possible appointments for you. Most importantly, remember to write down your appointment! You don’t want to hang up the phone, only to realize you forgot when the appointment was actually scheduled for. You can always call back and ask (and I promise the receptionists won’t judge you), but it’s more convenient to just write it down or put it in your calendar while you’re scheduling.

Step 4: Success!

You did it! You scheduled an appointment with a new doctor. The clinic will likely send you a packet to fill out, either by mail or email, so make sure to check for it and fill it out before your appointment, and bring it with you to the office. This will ask about your medical history, contact information for your emergency contact(s), and likely have some forms or waivers to sign. If you have any questions about these, the receptionists at the office can usually help you, either by phone or in-person. On the day of the appointment, remember to bring your insurance card, as well as a payment method with you if your insurance requires a copay. If you have specific things you want to ask the doctor about, it’s a good idea to write a list of them so you don’t forget.

Good job, and have a good appointment!

[scriptsharing]

My girlfriend compliments me a lot, and I don't really know how I should respond to it. Help??

First, I'm gonna say don't feel bad about not knowing how to respond to complements. I have trouble with it most of the time. It can be surprisingly difficult!

The first thing, though, is try not to brush it off, argue, or deny it. This is a super common response, but it's best to accept compliments; it makes the person who complimented you happy, and can help improve your own self-esteem!

In general, a simple "Thanks!" or "Thank you!" is usually perfectly fine, no matter who a compliment is from. It shows you heard and are accepting the compliment, and appreciated it, and there's nothing wrong with a short response. Especially if a person compliments you a lot. If you want more to say, you can always follow that up with something about the positive feelings the compliment gave you. "I'm glad you like it!" or "It means a lot to know you appreciate my [trait/skill/action they complimented]," for example.

If you really want to, you can compliment the other person back, but don't try to "out-compliment" them, or brush off their initial compliment by doing so. If someone compliments your shoes, replying with "Thanks! I like yours too!" is great. "Oh, thanks, but yours are so much cuter!" or "No, yours are cute!" is not.

And, since this ask is about your girlfriend, I'm sure a little sign of physical affection after you say "thank you," like a small peck or kiss on the cheek, would be appreciated.

I hope this helps!

-Mod Bri

[scriptsharing]

I just made a blog post about how there should be a site where they write scripts for every social interaction cuz I'm autistic and someone gifted me your lovely blog❤️

Aah I'm so glad!! We've been a little quiet recently, but we're definitely still here to answer questions and suggest scripts whenever needed. I'm glad someone was able to connect you with us!

(Also, an app where you could like, choose a situation and get script options would be Very Cool and if I knew anything about programming I'd try to make one.)

- Mod Bri

[scriptsharing]

is “thank u, next” a good way to tell someone that you don’t wanna associate/talk/be their friend anymore? especially when the person is constantly rude to you, always trying to play the victim, or coming up with a way to redeem themselves that make it seem like it’s you who is doing the wrong thing

I mean, it’s certainly a way that you could. And is an understandable impulse, given the situation. However, it might not be the clearest way. Passive-aggression gets your mood across, but not always the exact point you want to make. You would probably be better off telling them something like “I’m not interested in continuing this friendship. You’re consistently rude and manipulative towards me, and you refuse to change or apologize when I call you out on it. Please don’t [call/text/IM/etc.] me anymore.” Not because you don’t have every right to be angry or frustrated towards them and to express that, but because you want to make sure there’s no room for misunderstanding. You don’t want them to be able to say “Well I didn’t realize you never wanted to talk to me again!” or something like that.

- Mod Bri

[scriptsharing]

My friend is trying to set me up with someone and they are with the person while texting me to ask for my email. I don’t want to be mean but I’m not interested in dating. I want to let them down easy but it’s hard when the person will immediately see the text.

Hello! I’m sorry if it’s been a long time since you sent this. None of us have been super active on here lately. I hope things worked out for you!

For future reference and anyone else reading this, I maintain that honesty is the best policy. As unpleasant as it can feel turning someone down, it’s much better than not being direct and possibly making them think their feelings are reciprocated. A simple and direct “Thanks for the thought, but I’m not interested in dating anyone, and I would prefer it if you didn’t try to set me up with people,” is going to both get the point across to your friend, and let the person they’re with know that you’re not interested, but in a gentler way.

- Mod Bri

[scriptsharing]

hi! this might be a weird one, but can you help me with scripts for positive comments on a fanfiction? i really want to be able to comment so people know i love their work but i never know what to say so i just Dont and that makes me feel bad

Not weird at all! It can be hard knowing what to say. The first thing I'll tell you though, as a fanfic writer myself, is that even comments that just say "I really liked this!" or "This was great!" are wonderful to get. You don't have to get in-depth and detailed about it.

If you do want to get more in-depth, though, consider talking about a line you particularly liked. You can even copy it as you're reading to paste into your comment. Then you can say something like "I loved this fic! I really liked this line in particular: [paste line here]. It really (made me laugh/sounded just like the character/made me cry/was beautifully written/etc.)" This option takes a little more time, just because you have to 1. Pick a line and 2. Think about what you liked about it, but it can be a good place to start if you want to leave longer comments.

That said, once again, please don't feel bad if all you say is "sgfkghyx omg i love this fic so much!!" Because again, those make writers just as happy. I promise. ❤

(And if you want more examples of comments that make fic writers go "awww," a friend of mine started the blog @ao3comments-that-water-my-crops a while back which has tons of examples of various lengths and levels of coherancy.)

- Mod Bri

[scriptsharing]

How do I explain to someone I don’t want to be their “case”. Like they’re so intent on “fixing” me and my “issues” by “loving me” even though my issues are either neurological or mental and would really just be better if given proper professional attention. They’ve just been coming on really strong and I think they’re really deadset on the “Love Can Cure Depression!! :)” while also not understanding my issues. I really don’t know how to even start addressing it.

I'm sorry anon, that sounds like a really rough situation. I would explain to the person that while you know their intentions are good, they're actually hurting you by acting the way that they are. For example:

"I know you're trying to help, but when you do things like this it makes me feel like you don't care about me as a person, just as a "case" for you to "fix". But mental illness is complex, and while it can feel nice for some people to think that you can just love it away, it's not true. What I really need is professional help. Your insistance on trying to "cure" me yourself is really only making me feel worse."

If this is a person you want to keep around, maybe let them know some ways they can actually support you. Support from family and friends in appropriate ways can be very helpful, after all. Let them know what you would actually find helpful and appropriate. This could be things like checking in on you, helping distract you when you're in a rough patch, listening to you vent, or any number of other things. Consider the kinds of support you appreciate getting from other people in your life, or the kinds of support you would like to get, and tell them those.

However, if this is a person that you're not interested in continuing your relationship with, whatever kind of relationship it may be, then instead let them know that you don't feel comfortable keeping in contact with someone who treats you that way. You are more than your mental illness, and deserve to be treated as such. If they are going to continue to act as though it's your defining feature and they're only interested "helping" or "curing" you, be it as an ego boost or for some other reason, then you are not interested in pursuing the relationship further. (This can also apply if you try to maintain the relationship as proposed above, but they continue acting in the same way and making no real effort to change their behavior and attitude.)

I hope this helps, and wish you the best of luck.

- Mod Bri