There & Back Again

My name is Salynn. Glover. PLURR. 702 born, 206 living. Desert Rat that made her way to the woodland realm. INFP. Tolkienite. Level 27 Hobbit. Hearts are wild creatures, that's why our ribs are cages. BPD/MDD/Anxiety/PTSD Instagram: Scroto_Baggins

[swampgallows]

[swampgallows]

[carry-on-my-wayward-butt]

[scroto-baggins]

I’m literally screaming for help and directly asking for help from multiple friends while I’m homeless and have nowhere else to go…and all they say is “wow that’s tough dude”…….when I would immediately give anyone a place to stay who I knew what mentally and physically struggling like this for as long as they need….but no one who says they love and care about me can so the same back…I’m going to fucking kill myself. I’m done. My soul is tired. I’m sick of struggling my whole life, I’ll never truly know peace or love, I’m almost 29 it’s never going to happen for me at this point

[spooxie]

[soondeadgirl]

[the-suicide-effect]

"Maybe he left because he saw me the way I see myself"

[abnormall]

i am utterly disappointed in who i have become. i wanted to be someone better, someone important, someone beautiful. but instead i waste space, i waste time and i burden the people i love. this isnt the future i had in mind for myself and i know its too late. i’ll never get that future i dreamed of as a child.

[yousaveeveryonebutwhosavesyou]

[sadandsmilling]

A part of suicidal ideation or self harm no one talks about is the numbness to the subject that comes with it. I sit and scroll through pages and pages of cries for help, suicide notes and plans and feel nothing. No worry, no concern, no crushing feeling in my chest. Nothing. Those familiar feelings are now replaced with a strange familiarity, a kind of comfort that it’s not just me.

Fuck. When did it get to this

[suicideisthesolution]

How often can you break until there is nothing left of you?

-V. J.

[abnormall]

i still wonder what its like to be loved. no second guessing, no reassurances, no pain. just pure, healthy, unquestionable love. 

[depresslife22]

[abnormall]

[depresseddisneyprincess]

[waaytoopoor]

I just want to leave like I never existed.

I don’t want anyone to remember me,

I don’t want to hurt anyone.

[abnormall]

[wishing-for-deathx]

Things no one tells you about when you’ve been mentally ill for years and it won’t get better

— everyone will give up on you. Some will say it upfront, some will have indirect ways of showing it (you’re a lucky mf if you still have someone )

— your symptoms/ breakdowns/ panic attacks are cute for a few months. Everyone wants to help. Later on people find them annoying and inconvenient

— you will be blamed for not getting better. Doesn’t matter if you’re doing therapy, taking meds, exercising, eating well and sleeping. You can do all of it, some of it or none of it. They will find fault in your efforts.

— desensitization to your pain. This one isn’t their fault, it’s human nature. But it happens and yes it hurts cuz you would wish you were desensitized to your own pain but you have to feel it no matter what. Doesn’t matter if it’s the millionth time. It demands to be felt.

— people move on. But you can’t. You see people cope and get over things while you simply can’t. And it’s so much worse if you’ve been mentally ill for years. Even the smallest things break you and trigger you.

— you slowly realize this world isn’t made for mentally ill people in any way

— you’re tired / fatigued all the time. You have been for years now. You simply exist but you aren’t capable of living anymore. Your illnesses have taken everything that made you feel alive. You’re nothing but a shell. A body.

[sa-dnesss]