laugh it up, fuzzball

Nine • 29 • they/them • 🏳️‍⚧️ 🙃

[slunch]

[goldcrescent]

First day on the job and I’m getting my long awaited vengeance against my father’s evil vizier but it turns out no one else knows how to do his job so I need to at least hire an accountant because I’m too rich to understand the concept of a budget, but we scared off the city’s comptroller who hid all our liquid assets and told only the master of laws, who we beheaded without checking on that and a rat crawls up my pant leg. So I try to at least call over some pest control but my stupid chud brother already killed all of them because they killed his son because our other brother killed MY son. So now we’re overrun by rats and I pivot to taking some petitions and this lady that looks strangely like my siblings’ mom (why?) tells me we’re out of food because of the blockade I put in place. So I ask my husband’s ex, who is on my cabinet because I’m kind of fucking her because of my complex about not being my father’s son, and she asks what my dad would do. So I do what my dad would do and ask a sad woman I’ve locked in my house, but she’s mad at me because I killed her dad. So I try to handle both the rat and the budget problem by making my entire merchant class eat the rats and sending my corrupt police force to rob their houses and now all my merchants are both pissed off and absolutely going to tell everyone the blockade was my fault. So I ask MY evil vizier what I should do but he’s mad at me because I won’t legitimize his peasant sons, one of which has one of my nukes and I just publicly humiliated twice. So I leave to consider if I should kill my littlest brother to relieve some stress, except another one of my fathers’ evil viziers’ evil fruit relatives tricked me and this isn’t any of my brothers. So I walk away with no one for protection except the chief of the aforementioned police force who I just encouraged to seize the property of nobles and we get stopped by one of my other nuke holding peasants who asks why he hasn’t gotten a paycheck in 4 months, and I tell him I’m broke as shit in front of the aforementioned corrupt police chief, who is also on the payroll that I don’t have. So I give up and circle back to my vice president and he thinks for a few minutes and then asks if I’ve tried bombing Iran

[theweight]

theyre casting jacob elordi as white yoda

[freakoutgirl]

is it normal to want to cry at this image

[20thcenturywomen2016]

I’m a lover by nature except for when I’m a wretched hater cunt bitch which I also am by nature

[3000s]

🦞

🕳

crawdad go in holes

[aceynk]

woah.. do you know any other abilities of creatures

[dreadwedge]

salad is mostly items

[oeing-oeing-clay]

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

[thanksiloveyou]

2014 average url: tumblring-in-the-tardis

2026 average url: weemp

[cuppydogshane]

podracer Sebulba notably absent from swift-kelce wedding attendees............

[puyopuyo]

things in this world that kick ass

1.

[free-my-mindd]

[mjwatson]

bucky has a disability??

he doesn’t have an arm.

[sailing-ever-west-deactivated20]

happy almost ten years to my all-time favorite disability post on this braincell forsaken website

[superdaisypowerhour]

"if i had a time machine i would go back in time and kill hitler"

I would put sea mines around medieval britain. i would give hannibal barca ww2 era heavy artillery and tell him not to stop till he starts seeing gauls. i would give boudica a fucking abrams. i would appear before jesus like an angel and tell him "you gotta stop. not cause theyll kill you, youre fine with that, surprisingly, but because your fanclub is gonna spend about 1500 years making everything worse for everyone, everywhere." I would take a glock back in time and shoot romulus, shoot remus, and shoot that damn dog too just to be safe. i would be on the side of christopher columbus' ship in a scuba suit planting c4 on that bitch like rainbow six siege. i would be waging a one woman campaign of terror across andalusia to prevent the reconquista. i would be getting way out in front of that shit is what im saying,

[xener-aol]

[xener-aol]

[alice-of-scales-deactivated2026]

[mwg-drwg]

Please stop he is drowning…..

[pocket-deer-belly]

Gone forever

[cloverslime]

[cloverslime]

[minotauri]

sources say there are muscles in the back of my neck. and they want to kill me

[mondo-grosso]